Over the years we meet different people. Some of them become our friends, but not every friend remains a part of our lives forever.
We separate from some simply because we go different paths, for example we choose different educations .
Sometimes we change the city where we live and lose some friends, but sometimes our friends disappoint us.
So what to do when friendship meets disappointment?
Why does disappointment happen?
By the end of this article you will be different Find wisdom and one of them says If you don’t expect anything, you can’t be disappointed. And yes, actually we are.
You could say that we are responsible for our own disappointments because we expect too much from other people. But does that mean we shouldn't expect anything from humans?
Of course not. But maybe you should adjust your expectations.
When you first get to know someone, for example, you shouldn't expect too much from them. Or if someone has already misbehaved, don't expect them to change their behavior.
But when it comes to friendships, of course we expect a lot. Our friends are our chosen family and there is very little we wouldn't do for them.
It's only natural then that we do the same expect from them. But when they disappoint us, our pain is immense.
Have you ever experienced something similar? Did your friends disappoint you too?
In today's article I will teach you how to overcome this pain. I will first tell you two stories of people who have deceived each other in a friendship.
The wounds of the young man from the first story are still fresh. He just got disappointed and he knows; not what to do now. The other example is about a woman who is already healing.
I also have tips for you that will help you overcome broken friendships and disappointments .
And at the end some sayings, so you can see that disappointment is unfortunately a part of life, but it can be overcome.
So let's start with the examples .
When friendship falls apart….
• The first story:
I can't believe I'm in this situation… To explain everything well I have to go back a few months.
Three months ago I thought I was the happiest man alive – I was in a long-term relationship, I was sure that I had found the love of my life and I had wonderful friends by my side.
But one day I said my partner that she has been having an affair for six months, that she is in love with this other man and that she wants to break up with me. I was completely devastated.
In the beginning my friends were with me. They got in touch a lot, kept asking me how I was feeling, but after a while I noticed that they got in touch less and less.
Before few days ago I saw that they all went on a journey together that I knew nothing about.
I asked them what that was supposed to mean and they said that 99% of the time I cancel anyway when they invite me somewhere or when I come, I get all depressed and spoil everyone's mood.
I can not believe it. I was there for all of them when they needed me and now they leave me when I need them most.
Not only was my partner unfaithful, I lost my friends too…
• The second story:
I think this is the first time I've called you that. I never really told you that you were my best friend.
Actually, you were the one who said to me: I'm your best friend. I found that strange and funny at the same time.
I, like everyone else in our class, thought that you were actually very shy and maybe a bit boring. We all had the wrong idea about you though.
You had so much confidence and there was never a dull moment with you. And you knew that you were my best friend.
Spending time with no one else was so easy. You knew everything about me and all my secrets.
We both made a mistake and took our friendship for granted. Because of our partners, the two of us neglected each other.
When I finally realized that I didn't want to lose you, I tried to talk to you. But you told me that you didn’t want to and that we can see each other from time to time, but that we can’t be friends anymore.
I knew I made a mistake, but you didn't want to admit you made one too.
You wanted to blame me for all our distance and I didn't want to be part of a one-sided friendship and make an effort if you didn't want it. So I withdrew and didn't fight anymore.
I see you from time to time, I say hello to you, I want to ask you how you are, what you are doing, but I know that it would not change anything. Not anymore.
For years I was disappointed that you didn’t want to fight for our friendship. I kept asking myself if there was anything else I could have done.
But I always come to the same conclusion – You didn't want to be my girlfriend anymore. I have to let you go now For my own well-being.
Tips on how to overcome broken friendship and disappointment
Unfortunately, I don't have a panacea that can solve all your problems in seconds. But I have these tips for you on how you can best deal with a disappointment in friendship.
1. Give yourself one more chance
Before you take such a big step as breaking up with a good friend, ask yourself if you are 100% sure he hurt you on purpose.
Maybe he is he didn't even realize that his behavior was wrong, maybe he didn't want to harm you.
Think of all the good times you two had together and because of those good times, give him or her another chance. But he needs to know that he hurt you.
So the best thing you can do is start a conversation with him. Be open and honest, give him specific examples of when and how he hurt you and how it made you feel.
Tell him you were disappointed that you did didn't expect from him and ask why he did it. Hopefully he'll say he didn't mean to hurt you and apologize.
However, if he doesn't see his mistakes, or even worse, if he repeats them after such a conversation, then you can move on to the second step and slowly end this friendship.
2. End It Right
If you gave your friend an opportunity to change their behavior and they didn't, or if they're acting even worse than they used to , then it's time to end this friendship. Of course it won't be that easy.
No breakup is easy, whether you're the breakup or the one being dumped. Ending a friendship is no easier than a romantic relationship.
It can be even harder. It's very important that you make it personal.
Avoiding him, canceling the dates, etc., and hoping he catches the hidden message will take forever and can cause you even more problems .
Sooner or later he may ask you what's going on.
In that case, you'll have to talk to him anyway, so it's better to tell him right away that you don't want to be friends with him anymore because you gave him a chance to change his behavior towards you and he didn't.
Although it may seem like it's easier to write a WhatsApp message or emails, you'll feel better later if you persue it ;like you do. Show him how to be respectful to someone.
3. No contact
Breaking the friendship with a friend and then reaching out after a few weeks hoping he or she learned something from the breakup isn't going to do you any good.
The only thing this person can learn is that they can continue to be disrespectful to you.
Are you reaching out to your exes? Probably not.
That's how it should be with a friendship. If you already know that there is no more room for that person in your life, then this breakup should be final.
Yes, I know, it's going to be weird , as you two used to spend a lot of time together and now you have no contact with him or her, but if you do reach out from time to time it's not a real breakup.
Of course, if you see him or her on the street, you don't have to ignore him.
You can just say hello, but that's enough. And yes, one more important thing – do not stalk him or her on social media to see who he or she is friends with now.
4. Allow yourself to grieve
In the initial period after the breakup, you will likely feel a variety of different feelings. Unfortunately, Katzenjammer is only one of them.
Positive feelings like memories of the good times you two had together will mix with negative feelings like sadness about the loss or anger because your boyfriend or girlfriend isn't for you friendship has struggled.
It's okay to feel all of this. Try not to downplay your emotions and say that you don't care about this person just because he or she didn't care about you.
This person was an important part of your life and it's okay to grieve now. Allowing yourself to feel is an important part of the grieving process and trying to ignore it can only prolong the process.
After a while, when the feelings calm down a bit, it will be important for you to let go of the negative feelings. Allow yourself to forgive your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.
I know it's not easy to forgive someone who doesn't even ask for forgiveness, but it will be very important for your inner peace.
Otherwise it can happen that from this former boyfriend or former girlfriend becomes a kryptonite person. Do you know what that is?
It's a person you may not have had contact with for years, but who is always in your subconscious and has great power over you has.
You feel insecure, you are helpless and you don't feel valuable.
Such a person can influence all your future relationships with other people. That's why it's important to leave all the negative behind and go on with life with a positive attitude.
If there's anything else that you haven't told your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in time, you can write a letter like in the second example.
This letter will help you by freeing you from all that is unspoken.
6. Distract yourself
You now have all that free time that you used to spend with your girlfriend or boyfriend. The only thing left for you now is to sit at home and feel lonely, mourn and think.
Not true! What you need now is a distraction. I'm sure there are things you always wanted to do but just didn't have the time.
Now is your chance to try all of this. Whether it's a new hobby or a new skill, such as you want to sew a piece of clothing by yourself.
Anything that interests you and you don't Thinking about how disappointed you are is a good distraction. It can be something as simple as finding funny pictures.
You will see, as time goes by, you will think less and less about the broken friendship and the disappointment. Life is beautiful and offers you countless opportunities, you just have to get through this first phase.
7. Don't close your heart
One of the worst things when someone hurts and disappoints us is that we lose trust in people in general.
We then think that others will behave the same way and that we will never have real friends again.
Better lonely than hurt is the motto of these people. Don't fall into this trap.
Just because one person hurt you doesn't mean everyone else will too.
If you close your heart, you avoid maybe it will be broken, but then you won't have a chance to meet someone really wonderful.
8. Give new people a chance
When we are kids it is so easy to meet new people and make new friends. Later, when we are 18, 24 or 30 years old, it looks much harder.
But the only difference is that children do not actually think about what could go wrong, just act. We adults, on the other hand, have ideas about how every situation could end.
We suspect that the new people might not like us or that we might not like them, and that's why we sabotage every opportunity before we even try anything.
But if you're right if you think about it, you'll realize that you often meet new people, even though you may not realize it.
You don't have time to talk to new people and so they just remain acquaintances. Or maybe you just didn't want to open your heart.
But now it's time to turn around and see who you have close by. Do you actually know that your work colleagues can be your best friends?
You already share a lot, which is a good basis for a friendship. Do you perhaps know a nice colleague who you could imagine being friends with?
Take the first step. Invite them or even several colleagues over for a drink and give them an opportunity to get to know each other better.
Hopefully you'll be surprised at what good people or even good friends you already have around you.
Life is much better when we share it with friends divide. Unfortunately, sometimes we learn that we also have fake friends around us.
They disappoint us and we don't know what to do then – live with the disappointment and carry on as if nothing happened or end the friendship?
Depending on the situation, both options are a good solution.
You can close your eyes to small disappointments, but if it keeps repeating itself, it's time for an open one Conversation and you may have to go your separate ways.
The most important thing is to be fair, keep the good memories, let go of the bad and move on with an open heart. Every end is also a new beginning!
Sayings/Quotes/Quotes about friendship and disappointment
These pieces of wisdom can help you help your way to overcome the broken friendship and disappointment.
Sayings about friendship and disappointment
1. I'm never shocked when people let me down these days. I just hate the fact that I put myself in a position to be disappointed at all.
2. Disappointments can shape a person's life.
3. Disappointments are part of life and harden the soul.
4. Everyone experiences disappointments from time to time. Some put it away, others despair of it. Who do you belong to?
5. Trust is good, but so is disappointment.
6. Always believe in the good. Disappointments will come soon enough.
7. Make as many friends as possible, but don't base your life on them alone. It's an unstable foundation.
8. Even the smallest actions can have big consequences.
9. Do you know the difference between anger and disappointment? I'll explain… When you are angry you scream, you cry, you fight, but then you calm down and it all passes.
When you're disappointed, you scream inside, outside you show yourself calm, but it doesn't go away… The disappointment stays with you and changes you.
10. Animals don't disappoint people, only people can do that to other people.
11. A disappointment is always a realization.
12. Those who are disappointed wake up in reality.
13. You have many friends when you count them, but few when you need them.
14. I only need people in my life who need me in theirs too.
15. I'm making some changes in my life right now, if you don't hear from me anymore you're probably one of them.
16. It is particularly painful to deceive oneself about people for whom one would have put one's hand in the fire.
17. We must accept infinite disappointments, but we must never lose infinite hope.
18. You knew my bad sides, you knew my weaknesses and flaws. You knew what I was going through and you left.
19. Have hopes but never expectations. Then you may experience miracles, but never disappointments.
20. You either deal with disappointment or you fight yourself.
21. A person wanted to know if I knew you. So many memories went through my mind at that moment, but I just smiled and said I knew you.
22. Those who are disappointed in love are less likely to trust their hearts.
23. Do you remember when you said that I could always talk to you and that you would always be there for me? You lied!
24. He who is never disappointed has been very lucky or is lying.
25. Disappointment is usually preceded by deception.
26. Every disappointment opens the eyes and closes the heart.
27. No one wants to experience grief, suffering and disappointment, but no one can get away without them.
28. Even a bitter disappointment is a step forward.
29. Sometimes we may expect too much from our friends simply because we assume so.
30. There are people who don't understand that the one drop that broke the camel's back isn't the real reason why you can't or don't want to anymore. But the countless drops in front of it.
31. The scariest thing about betrayal is the fact that it never comes from your enemies, but from your friends.
32. You think you can disappoint me? No, I've been through too much in life for that.
33. If a plan doesn't succeed, don't be disappointed, plan something else.
34. A disappointment can be more painful than an external injury.
35. People who have often been let down always try to be there for others and not become what others were to them.
36. If you don't expect anything, you won't be disappointed.
37. You can tell a person's true character by how they treat you when they no longer need you.
38. I really don't hate you, but I am disappointed that you have changed and become everything you promised you would never be.
39. The disappointed person was usually not only disappointed, but above all deceived.
40. Disappointments are a part of life and no one is ever safe from them.
You don't trust some friends? Learn all about one-sided friendships here!
41. It hurts me so much when I remember everything you did to me and I want to leave you immediately, but I'm disappointed because I don't have the courage to run.
42. Don't be afraid of disappointment, use it as a challenge.
43. Never forget who was there for you when you were down.
44. Everything I know about disappointment I learned from people I cared about.
45. Small and big disappointments hurt, but they allow happiness to be felt all the more strongly.
46. Disappointment is sometimes just the beginning of an ending friendship.
47. Don't be too hasty in trusting, you might be disappointed.
48. You don't need a reason to leave when you don't have a reason to stay.
49. Deceiving and disappointing are often close together.
50. Disappointments are just God's way of saying, “I've got something better.” Be patient, live life, have faith.
51. When someone keeps hurting you, don't ask yourself why they do it, ask yourself why you keep letting them do it.
52. Only help those who deserve it. This will save you disappointment.
53. There are people whose actions show that their words are worthless.
54. If you have many friends, you can be disappointed and stand alone in times of need.
55. Do you know that feeling when you feel this disappointment deep inside you? When you find out that you have been betrayed, lied to and taken for a ride by someone?
When you just feel awful because you thought you could trust that person? This feeling eats you up inside, because a part of you dies with the person.
56. Losing a love hurts, losing a friend kills.
57. All of life is made up of disappointments and new beginnings. We just have to try again and again.
58. Every day people are disappointed. Some take it hard, others live with it and look ahead.
59. After a long time I realized that you shouldn't be friends with people who don't ask how they are.
60. You will experience great disappointment if you go through life expecting other people to do what you did for them.
< p>61. I am sad, hurt, angry, crazy, disappointed. But guess what? I'll put on a happy face and move on. It will hurt, but I will survive.
62. Be thankful when you are disappointed, because you will appreciate the beautiful hours and days all the more.
63. Disappointments are just stops in our lives, giving us opportunities to adjust when we're going in the wrong direction.
64. I don't wish anything bad on anyone, I just wish some people could meet themselves.
65. Sometimes those who expect too much are disappointed.
Inspirational quotes about friendship and disappointment
66. Assumption is the root of all disappointments. – Rogienel Reyes
67. Nobody likes being alone that much. I don't try to make friends, that's all. It only leads to disappointment. – Haruki Murakami
68. Disappointment is a kind of bankruptcy – the bankruptcy of a soul who hopes and expects too much. – Eric Hoffer
69. Disappointment is just your brain's act of adjusting to reality after you discover things are not as you imagined. – Brad Warner
70. Where there is much emotion, there is also much suffering – Leonardo da Vinci
71. Both harm themselves: the one who promises too much and the one who expects too much. – Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
72. Sometimes when you get disappointed, it makes you stronger. – David Rudisha
73. I got so much more out of life than I ever dreamed of – no big disappointments or unfulfilled hopes: I wasn't expecting much and that's why I'm the least bitter woman I know. – Audrey Hepburn
74. It's easier to forgive an enemy than it is to forgive a friend. – William Blake
75. Disappointment is the nurse of wisdom. – Sir Bayle Roche
76. There are people who think that just wanting to be your friend is enough. As if wishing for health is enough to be healthy. – Aristotle
77. Even a disappointment, if only thorough and final, is a step forward. – Max Planck
78. Irony is the final phase of disappointment. – Anatole France