There is something very special about friendships. Many also refer to friends as the family that you choose for yourself.
We find our first friends in kindergarten or elementary school. Some of these friendships last a lifetime, while others fade over time and are replaced by new friendships.
As we change, our interests and outlook on life change the acquaintances and friendships in their depth and quality.
However, it also happens that over time people lose touch, move, friendships turn out to be false and dishonest, or simply part ways. When you feel like you don’t have true friends in your life, then you really want to change that.
Why is it so much harder for us to make new friends as an adult?
The answer could be that as adults we have mostly built a social network around us and are usually more closed off to new people. But more on that later.
Have you ever asked yourself:
How do I find friends? < /p>
How can I find a best friend?
Why are friends so important?
< p>Then you have landed in exactly the right article!
Here you will find helpful tips and all the answers to your questions!
Table of ContentsShow 1 7 tips to make friends easily and easily as an adult 1.1 1. Find a hobby 1.2 2. Be open 1.3 3. Deepen your acquaintances 1.4 4. Take your time 1.5 5. Apps for making friends 1.6 6. Be you self 1.7 7. Show interest 2 Why is it difficult for us as adults to make new friends? 3 The importance of friendships 3.1 Why are friends so important? 3.1.1 1. Friends make us healthier 3.1.2 2. Friendships make a solid social environment 3.1.3 3. Friends help us to fight stress 3.1.4 4. Friends make us mentally strong 4 Conclusion 4.1 11 sources
7 tips to make friends-as-an-adult easily and easily find
Humans are social beings and even if you see yourself as an introvert, you certainly have the need and longing to simply chat with the bestie.
Friends give us a feeling; For safety, they understand and comfort us and are always there for us. For many of us, a friend is just the person who listens to us at the end of a really bad day, offers advice or just offers a little round of gossip. (Yes, I know you all do::))
Many psychologists also confirm: Friendships simply make us happier! (1) And to be honest, I completely agree with them. This is exactly what motivated me to write this article and help you build new friendships.
Here are the top tips:
1. Find a hobby
Even if it might sound a bit cliché at this point, I have to say that common interests do indeed bring people together.
So choose something that really makes you makes you happy and try it. For example, if you like reading books, then find your nearest book club and share your experiences with other people.
You will not only find a new and interesting group of Getting to know people, but having a common interest and therefore a topic from the start.
It can be that easy, you just have to pull yourself together and finally do something!
2. Be Open
Sometimes we overlook certain people, don't think they have anything interesting to offer us, or we don't feel that sense of connection. But we often forget that not every friendship has to be the same and it doesn't always have to be love at first sight.
Some people need time to warm up, show their true colors and open up. That's why it's important to keep an open mind and not rush to close the door on certain people.
If you decide to give your new work colleague or neighbor a chance to properly introduce yourself and reveal something about yourself, you might be surprised. Get out of your comfort zone for a while, even if it might be easier said than done.
Be open and don't limit yourself to only having people around you who like you are similar or the same. I'm not pulling all of this out of thin air, because recent studies show that people prefer to surround themselves with people who remind them of themselves. (2)
But is that really the only way to get a friendship?
3. Deepen your acquaintances
Why do acquaintances have to stay just acquaintances? Do you have a few people you always say to: We absolutely have to go for a coffee!? What exactly is stopping you?
If you already feel sympathy for a certain person, then there is no reason not to pursue them further, is there? Just invite your acquaintance for a coffee and see where the conversation takes you.
Either you will realize that you only want to keep it as an acquaintance, or you are having a great day and are planning another meeting.
4. Take your time
Friendships don't happen overnight, especially when we're grown up.
At the beginning of a new friendship, you should always take your time and be patient. Not to overdo it is a very important point. It is therefore important to have patience during the introductory phase, not only with potential partnerships but also with friendships.
Take the time to find out whether the new friendship is really good for you and how it is other person reacts to you.
I found a very interesting study on the subject of friendship and the time it takes to develop. Among other things, this study says the following:
Casual friendships form around 30 hours, followed by friendships around 50 hours. Good friendships develop after 140 hours. Best friendships are only formed after 300 hours of time have been spent. (3)
As you can see, if your friendship doesn't get in touch for a few days, there's no need to panic. It's also ok to take things slowly.
5. Apps to find friends
We are already familiar with various dating apps. But there are also apps that allow you to make friends and not just look for romantic relationships.
These apps work on the same principle. You create a profile that you complete with information about yourself and a picture and you can start looking for friends.
These interesting apps include Bumble BFF, Friendsup or Meetup. You can also choose whether you want to search for friends alone or through groups.
Many people find their way around the internet much better and are more sure of their stuff. The Internet offers us a certain anonymity, distance and also the possibility to end conversations quickly and easily.
Maybe this will be the deciding factor for you too when it comes to taking the first step towards making new friends.
6. Be yourself
If you always make an effort to make a good first impression, then you also know that you are not the only one with it. It is quite normal and natural to want to show your best side and put yourself in the best light.
But do you find yourself pretending more and more often? to please others is not doing you any favors at all.
Not only that the people around you will notice that you are not completely honest. No, such behavior also has completely different consequences. If you bend and bow to please others, you could also repel people who would be interested in your true colors.
Communication is not just about the exchange of words , People also pick up on our gestures, undertones, and intentions. (4)
Be yourself and don't be afraid to show your true self to others. If necessary, engage in self-discovery.
You have so many great and positive qualities to offer. It is only important that you also see this and are proud of it.
7. Show interest
If you have a friendly interest in a certain person, then you should show it. I don't necessarily mean that you have to ask the person about your feelings.
Showing an interest in a friendship is also much easier. It is enough if you make an effort to plan another meeting or activity.
You listen carefully to the person, notice the things that are important to them or talk to them about certain problems after a while. These are all things that sound mundane, make a big but positive impression, and show you care.
So, is it your turn to try something new? r planning your girls night out, then you have nothing to lose.
I hope these 7 steps can help you to start making friends as you grow older.
But why do we find it so difficult to make really new ones in the first place To make friends or even to find a new best friend? Especially when we're long out of school and enjoying adulthood in full swing?
Why do we find it difficult to make new friends as adults?
Making new friends as an adult isn't always easy. Various factors play an important role here. Not only time management, but also previous experiences, personality traits and the social environment affect us.
I would like to explain to you at this point in more detail what this is all about; ren.
- Trust Issues
This is a question we grapple with very often in our adult years. This is not so pronounced in childhood, which in turn means that we open up much faster, let people into our lives and open our hearts.
< strong>We think a lot about how much we should reveal about ourselves, whether that person could betray our trust or even hurt us.
An interesting fact about the trust issue in friendships is that a large majority of women perceive the trust issue as the most common obstacle to making new friends. (5)
- Lack of time
It is a common problem of modern times, which makes it difficult for more and more people not only to meet friends, but also to meet others Affects aspects of life.
According to a survey, 24% of Germans stated that they sometimes felt lonely and found it difficult to make new friends. (6)
Torn between job, household, family and just doing nothing, we all unfortunately often have far too little time to meet up with friends or make new ones.
Yes we do that is exactly what would do us so much good. Talking to friends, having fun having and just going shopping is all it takes sometimes.
- Personality traits
According to surveys, 27% of introvert respondents said that making new friends is a challenge. For comparison, only 5% of extroverts agreed with this statement. (7)
So it's safe to say that our personality plays a big part here too. How do we approach people? Are we open and sociable? Do we feel comfortable around people?
- The social environment
Of course, how and where we live also plays a role when it's about making new friends.
Things like how many friends we have, how often we go out, whether we have a partner, husband and children also naturally affect how and when we make new friends.
But this is also an important factor when it comes to what kind of friendships we make.
For example, a new mum will find common ground with other mums and make new friends, while some of their older friends will be more distant.
But why are we even like that important to have friends? What makes friendships so special in our lives?
The importance of friendships
Hast Have you ever thought about what friends are and how they affect our lives?
The concept of friendship is explained by Univ.-Prof. i. R Dr Klaus-Dieter Eichler in his work Philosophy of friendship in the following way:
This consistently positive concept of friendship describes a personal, voluntary social relationship between (mostly) two people, based on mutual sympathy, trust and respect same or different sex. It is a special form of participation in the person of the other. (9)
To the question: What is a friend?to answer, it can be said that this is a person with whom we form a platonic love. For us, this person is a person we trust, with whom we feel safe and understood.
However, as an adult, it is not really possible to have too many friends. You somehow have the feeling that the older you get, the closer your circle of friends becomes.
An interesting survey surprised with this result: 66% of the population have a best friend. On average, Germans have 3.7 close friends and count 11 people as part of their extended circle of friends. The entire circle of acquaintances consists of an average of 42.5 people. (9)
Why are friends so important?
Having friends isn't just important for having someone to talk to or for dating. No, they have a much more important role in our lives.
Here you can see some:
1. Friends make us healthier
A study spanning over ten years actually confirmed that a good social network, made up of friends and family, contributes to our health and longevity contributes. (10)
So it's no longer a secret that friendships are not only good for our well-being, but also generally have a positive effect on our quality of life.
2. Friendships make a strong social circle
A strong social circle is especially important when we have to use it as our safety net.
Just as acrobats save themselves in the safety net when they lose their footing, so do we. Our safety net is the people around us who don't leave us alone and stand by us with comfort and advice in every situation.
It's the people who know what it means to be a loyal friend.
3. Friends help us deal with stress
If you have made a firm bond for life with a person, then they are also there for you in crisis situations. Even when it comes to finding a release valve together and getting rid of stress.
Friends also offer a kind of buffer, according to recent studies, um cope better with all the challenges of adult life. One of them is definitely stress. (11)
4. Friends make us mentally strong
Friends help us become more confident, productive, and grounded. Mental strength is also characterized by the ability to find one's way in an unpredictable social environment.
Our circle of friends helps with exactly that. They allow us to hone these social skills and not get discouraged so easily.
It's no secret, and research and polls really back us up – it's not always easy to make new friends as an adult.
But that doesn't mean it's impossible.
Um to do so, however, it is of great importance to show a willingness to take your own Leaving your comfort zone and just trying something new.
It is important to remain true to yourself, to give yourself time and to open up to others. No changes in your life can make a big difference. A new course or an interesting conversation with a casual acquaintance can open completely new doors.
Take the initiative and show interest in the person a friendly relationship; Build relationships.
Don't be afraid to give the possibilities of the internet a chance. Maybe that will be a hit for you.
There are many ways to give yourself a little push and start looking for new friends. As we have seen, friends are an important part of our lives.
Greetings and take care of yourself!
Your Way uses only peer-reviewed studies and trusted sources to ensure our content is truthful, accurate and reliable.
1. Feldman, B.D. (2021) Why Does Having Friends Make Us Happy?
2. Laursen, B.: Making and Keeping Friends: The Importance of Being Similar, SCDR
3. Hall, A.J.: How many hours does it take to make a friend?, University of Kansas
4. Shany-Ur,T., Poorzand,P., Grossman,S., Growdon,M., Jang,J., Ketelle,R., Miller,BL. and Rankin, K.P.: Comprehension of insincere communication in neurodegenerative disease: Lies, sarcasm, and theory of mind, NLoM
5. Apostolou, M. and Keramari, D.: What prevents people from making friends: A taxonomy of reasons, Science Direct
6. Splendid Research (2019): How lonely do Germans feel?
7. Splendid Research (2019): How lonely do Germans feel?
8. Eichler, K.-D.: Philosophy of Friendship, Reclam
9. Schneider, P.: Germans have 3.7 close friends – Open communication and caring most important in a friendship, YouGov
10. Giles, L.C, Glonek, G.F.V., Luszcz, M.A. and Andrews, G.R.: Effect of social networks on 10 year survival in very old Australians: the Australian longitudinal study of aging, BMJ Journals
11. Scheiplein, M. and v. Harmelen, A.-L.: The importance of friendships in reducing brain responses to stress in adolescents exposed to childhood adversity: a preregistered systematic review, Science Direct