Friendship is one of the most important things in the world for many of us. Friends are our support, our rock and the ones who have our backs when we need it.
Sometimes they understand us without words and make us feel good. You are with us through thick and thin and we are never lonely with friends.
But not all friendships are true friendships.
But what, when we encounter exploitation, lies and manipulation? What if we make friends with a narcissist?
If you've ever wondered how people with narcissism behave in friendships, or are just thinking that you might have a narcissistic friend, then this article is for you just the right thing for you, just read on.
Today we are talking about friends, under whose mask everything is hidden, but not a real friend.
Table of ContentsFade in 1 Narcissism and Friendship: What is a Narcissistic Friend? 2 How do narcissists treat their friends? 2.1 1. They exploit you 2.2 2. They are the opinion leaders 2.3 3. They fool you 2.4 4. Your world must revolve around them 2.5 5. They have no compassion 2.6 6. They rob you the energy 2.7 7. They are not loyal 2.8 8. They always have a scapegoat 2.9 9. They will end the friendship when they no longer need you 3 How can I deal with a narcissistic friend? 3.1 1. Keep your distance 3.2 2. Don't tell so much about yourself 3.3 3. Don't always be available 3.4 4. Don't let yourself be manipulated or blackmailed 3.5 5. Try to understand the disturbance 3.6 6. Be yourself aware of your values 4 How do you end a friendship with a narcissist? 4.1 1. Say you want to end the friendship 4.2 2. Get help 4.3 3. Don't get involved in games 5 Why do narcissists want to stay friends? 6 Can you stay friends with a narcissist? 7 Conclusion
Narcissism and Friendship: What is a Narcissistic Friend?
A narcissistic friend is a person who often cannot be a true friend due to their lack of empathy, understanding, self-love, and a sense of superiority over others.
Friendships with narcissists are almost always based on personal gain, and more often than not, they're superficial friendships with no deeper connection.
The words loyalty, honesty, sincerity, devotion, and love, on which friendship actually means very little to narcissists.
Narcissists make friends easily because of their charm, openness and skillful communication skills.
They pull people in very easily. They are very interesting, energetic and often you can see them in the spotlight, catching the attention of others with their stories and jokes.
It is their charm that allows them to be people attracting them like magnets and hiding their true personality structure underneath.
In reality, they harm the person they consider friends, draining their energy and making them feel bad without the person even realizing it.
Narcissists are generally considered than people who "actually" have no friends, and friendship means nothing to them. Is there any truth to that and how do narcissists treat their friends?
How do narcissists treat their friends?
A toxic friendship with narcissists manifests itself through a variety of behaviors. How to recognize a narcissistic friendship.
1. They exploit you
A narcissist will usually only make friends with people who benefit him or her. They thrive on the admiration and praise of others and surround themselves with people who make them feel valuable.
In friendships, it is essential for people with narcissism to socialize with influential people who have a good status in society.
Not just because narcissists love money, but also because if When narcissists are seen with influential people, they get the admiration they deserve from others. They don't care what or who is beneath the surface or what that person is like, as long as they can benefit from it.
The benefit doesn't have to be just financial or social. A narcissist always expects their friends to be there for them. Narcissists exploit people, manipulate them, control and do everything to protect their Meet their own needs and achieve their goals.
2. They are the opinion leaders
Either you do his bidding or you never see your narcissistic friend again.They usually call the shots in their circle of friends and as soon as they don't like something, they run amok.
They always have the last word, even when it comes to banal decisions such as choosing a restaurant, places to go out, things to do and the like.< /p>
That's why they're usually surrounded by people who see them as some kind of leader and role model. Mostly it's empaths and people with less confidence.
However, according to a study on narcissism in friendships, which examined 290 pairs of friends, both friends showed narcissistic traits. More specifically, narcissists can be friends with narcissists. Then they supposedly don't work against each other, but unite as a couple against the other.
< b>In any case, Narcissists don't know compromise and always put their wants and needs ahead of everyone else.They don't care how others feel or what others want because they care most about themselves.
3. They fool you
According to recent studies by Degro, Fehn, Schneider and Schütz (2021) in the article How many close friends do you (think you) have ? Narcissists have two ways of emphasizing their superiority: One is through self-appreciation (engl. Admiration ) and on the other hand by devaluing others (english Rivalry).
The former has a large circle of friends who admire him and the second type Narcissist demeans others to make them feel better.< /p>
Narcissistic friends have no compassion. A true friend will always give you their honest opinion and point you out when you're wrong. If you go shopping with a real best friend, she'll tell you honestly why a dress suits you or not.
Whereas a narcissistic friend will find a way to insult both your character and you. But mostly in a subtle way that you won't immediately notice.
She doesn't care if you're alone or in a large group of people. They can lower your confidence and insult you.
Apart from that, they may ignore your strengths and achievements and instead emphasize their own.
If you tell a narcissistic friend that you got a great job offer, they may interrupt you, change the subject of the conversation, or steal your attention by talking about themselves.
4. Your world must revolve around them
Narcissistic friends believe your world must revolve around them.If you cancel some plans with them or meet up with someone else, they can easily get offended.
But they themselves have no problem with coming to your house unannounced come and disrupt the day you have planned.
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder do not respect your space and time. They expect you to use your Dedicate your time to them, and when you don't, expect mixed reactions.
You could be subject to ghosting or silent treatment with no explanation. It is also possible that they will make new friends in a short time and ignore you completely.
5. They have no sympathy
Once you start telling your narcissistic friends about your own private problems, you should start with achange of subject, outrage, and disinterest calculate.
Unless the topic of conversation is their grandiosity, don't expect a sympathetic ear to listen because they're not interested in anything else.
While good friends will listen to you, even if you're joking and complaining about problems, you will only have superficial conversations with narcissists that are more or less all about them.
This is due to their personality structure, their lack of empathy and their inability to understand the feelings of others.
6. They drain your energy
Narcissists are true energy vampires. Friends of narcissists often feel drained, tired and lack energy after being with them for an extended period of time. They often feel empty, unfulfilled, and even unhappy.
Narcissistic friends destroy your confidence instead of boosting it. And worst of all, narcissistic friends learn their friends' weaknesses so they know exactly where to hit to make someone feel bad.
That's how they bring the person to develop self-doubt and wondering what is wrong with them. It is important for narcissists that you doubt yourself because that is how they create emotional dependency in people.
After the time spent with real friends, one should feel happy and content. If not, then it is an obvious sign that they are fake friends.
7. They are not loyal
Narcissists are not true and good friends at all because they don't know the word loyalty. They often chatter up with other people behind your back gossip.
A true friend will fight with you against the whole world, even when they know you are wrong. Narcissists are real chameleons in society.
It's not surprising that they do something behind your back when given the opportunity, benefit and gain to achieve. One should therefore be careful with them.
8. They always have a scapegoat
People in narcissistic friendships will know best what I'm talking about.
If you're a friend of the narcissist, you can expect them to use you to vent their anger and rage on you.
And worst of all, they'll feel like it almost never apologizes or shows remorse.
If the narcissist insults you and you tell them that they hurt your feelings, they will twist the words in your mouth so that you end up being the one who apologizes.
9. They will end the friendship when they no longer need you
That friendship means nothing to narcissists is shown by the fact that they are willing to end your friendship when they can no longer derive benefit from it.
When a narcissistic person realizes that When she stops getting admiration from you, takes advantage of you, and you don't play by her rules, he will just move on and make friends with other people.
They will continue their search for new victims and target those they can benefit from.
Having narcissists as friends is challenging because they understand the basics of healthy human relationships Relationships don't. However, there are a few tips for successfully dealing with a narcissistic friend.
How do I deal with a narcissistic friend?
If you need to remain in friendly relationship with the narcissist due to various circumstances, follow the instructions below.
1. Distance yourself
If you can't completely eliminate the narcissistic person from your life, thenat least you can distance yourself from the toxic relationship.
Protect your health and energy by creating a line between you and a person who is detrimental to your well-being.
2. Don't talk too much about yourself
If you have a narcissist in your circle of friends, be careful not to reveal too much about yourself.
Narcissists listen, question, and learn carefully about yours Fears, weaknesses and mistakes. They know very well where your weaknesses are when they want to blackmail you or manipulate you.
To protect yourself from narcissistic abuse, don't talk too much about yourself and your problems and weaknesses, because be sure that sooner or later the narcissistic people will use it against you.
3. Don't always be available
A toxic friendship with a narcissistic person requires you to be available 24/7 if they need you. She'll call you at 3am, text you on social media – without regard to losses.
It's important that you let the narcissist know that you have your own life and other friends and that they are not at the top of your list of priorities.
In this way the narcissist removes at least part of it from your life.
4. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated or blackmailed
You must first know how to see through narcissistic manipulation and insult. They have their own tactics, phrases and behaviors that get their victims to do what they want.
They do not choose the means to achieve their goals. They don't care how you feel or what you want.
They think they are better and bigger than everyone else and have the right to people like that to influence how they want it. You must not allow this.
5. Try to understand the disruption
One of the things that could help you in such a toxic relationship is to try to understand where all this is coming from. Narcissistic Personality Disorder has been talked about a lot in recent years, so it's something clearer where narcissistic traits occur and how they manifest themselves.
Narcissism is named after Narcissus, a young man who died because of his self-love, and Narcissism is characterized by excessive self-love, grandiosity, and the belief that one person is better than others.
US psychologist Pascal Wallisch claims that narcissists are actually are not grandiose, but deeply insecure. They actually lack self-love and confidence, so they compensate in manipulative ways.
This disorder has its roots in childhood, adults may have been influenced by a narcissistic mother or had traumatic childhood experiences that shaped them.
If you know the background of By understanding history, you will better understand why they behave the way they do and how to deal with narcissists.
6. Be aware of your values
It is always important to be aware of how valuable you are.And especially in a narcissistic relationship. Always keep in mind that they will always try to level your confidence to the ground. This must not happen.
Develop love for yourself and always know that you are special. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise, let alone an insecure, empty, and dissatisfied narcissist.
Because know that the narcissist compensates for their own sense of insecurity and worthlessness by loving you belittles and insults.
You must be wondering how to end your friendship with a narcissist for good.
How to end your friendship with a narcissist?
If you want to end a friendship with a narcissist, you should expect different reactions. This is just as difficult as breaking a love relationship with him, and later I'll tell you why. Now I'll tell you how you can end the friendship for good.
1. Say you want to end the friendship
You don't have to list the reasons and rub your nose in his or her narcissistic abuse, but keep them in the back of your mind. Because there is a chance that the narcissist will reverse the story.
When a narcissistic person sees that you are determined and that his or her words do not affect you ;hear or influence them, they will move on.
2. Get help
Surround yourself with the support of people who love you so you don't feel bad. And worst case scenario, you can always seek professional help.
Usually have to People who “survive” relationships with narcissists seek therapy and work to recover from the manipulative influence.
So, conserve your energy and take care of yourself your health.With the help of your favorite people and family, you can do it.
3. Don't get involved in games
You should consider that for narcissists, losing a friend or partner is a personal loss. Not because he loves that person and because he wants to be with her, but because they can't let anyone leave them.
While it's possible for a narcissistic friend to reject your friendship, the story is different if you choose to take that step.
But why would a narcissist want friendship when it it is clear that she means nothing to them?
Why do narcissists want to stay friends?
Narcissists want to stay friends because it's for them a personal defeat is breaking your friendship with them. They really don't care about friends one bit. We've already established that.
But what they want from their friends is admiration, praise, approval and the like.
When that influence is cut off on your part, the narcissist will react with anger, resentment and freaking out. Because it is a blow to his ego.
This begs the question, is it even possible to remain friends with a narcissistic person?< /p>
Can you stay friends with a narcissist?
Yes, a friendship with a narcissist is nurturing, but the question is whether it's worth it. If it's detrimental to your well-being and makes you feel bad about him or her, then this friendship isn't worth it and you need to put an end to it immediately.
On the other hand, if you think you can deal with a narcissist and show them where they belong in your relationship, then you can keep the friendship.< /p>
The most important thing is not to let it affect you too much and to keep your autonomy.
Narcissism in friendship is by no means an easy topic, like any form the relationship with such persons. You feel sucked into a toxic whirlpool with no way out.
You feel less valuable, humiliated and bad and white; not how to deal with it. On the other hand, friendship means very little to narcissists and they make friends when they see benefits in it.
They don't know what it means to be a true, loyal friend, and therefore you do not need to devote your attention, time or energy to them.Keep as much distance as possible and protect yourself and your health.
Surround yourself with the friends that really make you feel good and who love you and cut the fake friends out of your life.