They say that friendship is the greatest wealth and that we are never alone when we have friends.
We feel surrounded by friends belonging. We feel safe and secure. We have people around us who understand and appreciate us. Friends are people with whom we can share everything.
A good friend is someone who makes us laugh when we're sad, someone who helps us when we need it most.
Someone we can call anytime of the day if we have a problem. Someone who motivates us and gives us strength …
We do crazy things with friends, we go out, we make memories and we never get bored.
However, there are also friendships that are not so ideal.
Honestly, we can't be friends with everyone, but what if the people we used to be very close with just aren't interested in us and our lives anymore?
What if we're only dating someone out of a sense of duty because we've known each other our entire lives? What if a friendship drains us more than it enriches us?
We often hear about toxic relationships, toxic partners, reasons and ways to break up, but what about friendship?
Have you ever wondered how to end a friendship and what's a good reason to tell someone we can't be friends anymore?
If so, then you should definitely read on to find out all about ending a friendship:
• Reasons for the end of friendship
• way to end friendship
• Dealing with the consequences
Reasons for the end of the friendship
1. The contact always starts with you
If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend who you only see when the initiative is yours, it may be on best to end such a friendship.
I am not saying that friends should be together 24 hours a day, but the contact and effort must come from both sides, because true friendship cannot be one-sided.
There are friendships in which people can be good friends even if they don’t see or hear from each other for a long time.
For example, they live in different cities, countries and even continents. But such friends, as soon as the first opportunity arises, immediately text and ask when you can do something together.
Such “long-distance friendships” can of course only survive if both sides make an effort to keep this friendship alive, no matter how little time you spend together.
For example, if you have a friend who only replies to your texts or meets you when you invite her and never sends the message first, you should ask yourself what kind of friend she is.< /p>
Because in that case, your friendship may already be over in their mind.
2. Ongoing conflicts
It's a good thing when you can talk to friends about a wide variety of topics, especially when you're with people where everyone has their own opinion and attitude has something.
Although there are disagreements, friends respect each other's opinions and see it as an opportunity to learn from each other and grow together.
However, if that disagreement always becomes a conflict, it becomes a problem.
Especially with people who never want to admit they're wrong and don't respect the opinion of the other person. Such friendships really drain a lot of energy and in such a company one tends to withdraw.
You no longer feel free to express your opinion and attitude and have the feeling that you have to pretend. In this case you should end the friendship.
3. Breach of trust
Who can you trust if not your best friend?
In them you always have support and a person with whom you can share all your secrets, weaknesses, fears and desires and who you can trust completely.
But what if is this trust abused? Is it worth maintaining such a friendship?
For example, if you have heard that one of your friends is speaking badly of you, or if she has revealed to someone some of the secrets that you have confided in her told you, there is no point in staying friends with such a person.
After all, a friendship without trust is like a house without a foundation and once it's broken it's difficult to restore.
You'll always be kind of careful, you won't be with that person again with the same ones eyes or share anything with that person and in that case it is best to end the friendship or at least distance yourself.
Friends are the people who should be the wind beneath our wings. They should criticize us sometimes and tell us straight to the face what we are doing badly and the like to motivate us to be even better.
Such sincere friends are valued and it is always good to be in to be in such a society. However, if this criticism crosses borders, we have to ask ourselves what the point is.
Has it ever happened to you that you feel bad after hanging out with friends? Do you have friends who are always insulting you and making jokes about you?
Well, sometimes that's okay because a little humor never hurts.
But if this reoccurs and affects you in the sense that you feel bad, you start to doubt yourself, you are insecure etc., then unfortunately you are wasting your time with fake friends.
A true friend will honestly tell you anything they think you are doing wrong, but they will never insult you. If this is the case for you, it's time to change your circle of friends.
5. Negativity and pessimism
Do you have a friend around whose glass is always half empty and doesn't fit? Do you feel any kind of depressed after talking to him?
There are people who are very pessimistic and there is nothing they can do about it. Their world is dark, they see no good in anything and are full of negative energy.
Such people are difficult to deal with because they can never be satisfied and they are real energy vampires.
They also transfer their negative energy to the people around them. If we spend too much time with such people, there is a chance that we will take over their thought patterns and negative energy.
I'm not saying that such people are necessarily bad and that you must end the friendship immediately, but you must protect yourself from the negativity or at least spend less time with such people in order not to fall under this negative influence.< /p>
6. Nothing in common
You have a best friend you grew up with. You were inseparable. Over time, life has taken you in two different directions.
You are on a world tour after graduation, she has turned to her career.
Or maybe you have a good friend with whom you went to university. He loves to party and meet new people all the time, while you prefer to devote time to school, volunteering and the like.
When you meet, you always come back to shared memories and you have nothing that connects you anymore. Unfortunately, this often happens.
People just change over the course of their lives and with them their goals, plans, preferences and the like and it's normal for people to drift away from each other.
Such friendships are stressful because you're dating It's a duty and a friendliness to keep in touch because you've known each other for a long time.
So it's a shame that this friendship is ending, but it doesn't really work for either side. Such friendships usually have no future and usually end by themselves.
7. It's all about her
Do you have friends who are always the center of attention? It's all about them and everything has to be the way they want it to be?
There are people who don't care about other people's problems, but don't mind talking to you for hours on end Telling flirtation, failed plans and the like.
When you start to say something, they always interrupt you with the line: “It's nothing, listen to what happened to me “”
There are also people who won't go anywhere in the group if it's not the place or activity they've chosen.
Everyone has to dance to their tune and only then cö let them be satisfied. Such people are in most cases narcissists and it is impossible to maintain a friendship with them because it is not a friendship at all.
Friends should listen to each other when they speak and treat each other with respect. If this fails, one should end the friendship.
8. One of you has fallen in love
We come to a slightly sensitive reason why the friendship should end, which involves deeper feelings.
When one When friends fall in love with each other and the other doesn't feel anything at all, this unrequited love can hurt a lot.
This is also a special case, because when it happens, the friendship is doomed for two reasons:
First, because for the person in love, the continuation of the friendship is only a deepening of the suffering, because he will always secretly hope that something might happen after all and that nothing will change.
Secondly, the one who doesn't love him back won't be able to deal with his best friend turning into him is in love and has a bad conscience that he can't return his feelings.
As a result, the friendship somehow becomes strained, and the situation is often uncomfortable. While it doesn't apply to everyone and it depends on the situation, eventually these friendships fall apart.
You can read more about this here: He just wants friendship: 10 characters the fucking friend zone
Way to end the friendship
1. Make the right decision
Before you really end a friendship, you should carefully consider whether you are making the right decision so as not to regret it. Weigh the pros and cons and consider what your life would be like without this particular person.
Try not to contact this friend for a few days to see if you miss him/her and think carefully about why you want to end the friendship.
It all depends on how much more you can take and how good the reason for the end of the friendship actually is.
2. Think of yourself
Sure, you will doubt your decision and maybe even have a guilty conscience, but above all you should think of yourself.
If friendship with someone really doesn't suit you and you feel bad and burdened in someone's company, then stick to your decision.
As hard as it is to remove someone from your life, no matter how long you've known them, whether it's two months or ten years, there's no point in holding on to something or someone that's causing you harm.
3. Pull back slowly
As I mentioned earlier, if the friendship is equally stressful for both parties, it will gradually fade and eventually become stronger don't hear from each other.
So if it's a short-term friendship and the contact is only yourselves anyway, you can easily withdraw, stop texting, calling and the like.
Because you will not chasing after anyone and pulling their sleeve to be friends with them.
4. Clarifying discussion
However, if you want to end a long-standing friendship, it's important to have a clarifying conversation. Avoid using a WhatsApp message or calling the conversation as it is better to talk face to face.
Explain your reasons why you think it is on the best thing to do is end the friendship, but in a calm and nice way.
Because at the very least, that person deserves an explanation as to why you don't want them in your life anymore, whatever she did to you.
5. Do not insult the other person
If the person you are trying to break up with hurt you badly, you are probably angry, angry and disappointed and want to insult them in the worst possible way.
However, you should keep a low profile and not put that person down.
Be nice and polite and keep the focus on yourself.
Instead of saying I don't want to hang out with you anymore because you just go out, drink and are irresponsible. Say: I'm currently at a stage in my life where I'm interested in some other things. I think we shouldn't hang out together anymore.
6. Let the other person say something too
It's also important to give the other person the opportunity to say something too.
Maybe in that moment you realize that you made a mistake and that you don't want to lose you as a friend, so you decide to change something and try to improve your relationship.
In any case, it is important that you make sure that this person has understood you and your intentions, regardless of how the conversation ends.
7. Set Clear Boundaries for Ending Friendships
Finally, after you've decided to end the friendship, you also need to decide what to do with the end of the friendship. nst thing to do.
If you live, work or go to university in the same place, you will naturally meet and such a situation can sometimes be embarrassing.
So you should define the nature of your relationship after the friendship ends. Can this person still contact you if they need something or not?
Will you say hello if you meet or will you make a clean break and never see this person again?
< p>Dealing with the consequences
1. Feel free to be sad
Ending a friendship isn't easy for anyone and after breaking off a friendship it's normal to feel overwhelmed by various emotions and one of them is sadness.
Even though you made a conscious decision not to hang out with that one person anymore, she was a part of your life.
You have shared memories, wonderful moments and much more.
So give yourself space and time to grieve. Just as we experience the pain of separation after a relationship, we also experience it after a friendship ends.
2. Don't badmouth this person
Whatever the reason for the broken friendship, keep it to yourself. There is no need to go around and talk about how bad he/she is because he/she did something bad to you.
This person was your friend for a while/in, although he/she may have betrayed you, but it's not okay to stoop to that level and speak badly of them because it only spoils the image of yourself.
3 . Maybe not everyone will be on your side
Another thing to keep in mind is that not everyone will be on your side. This is especially true when you have a large circle of friends where there are different connections between people.
You need to know how to accept it and anticipate the possibility of losing someone will lose more friends. Don't be discouraged, however, as not every loss is a loss. 🙂
4. Make new friends!
By meeting new people and making new friends, you put the old bad experience behind you, learn something new and broaden your contacts. Also, now you know what you don’t want in a friend.
Perhaps previous experience will help you better assess people and see who your real friend is and who knows, you might find a friend for life.
Bottom line: Ending a friendship is never easy, no matter how long it lasted, but sometimes you have to. unfortunately we do too. When the person you thought was your friend turns out to be not, it's time to end the friendship.
Just as there are toxic relationships, there are also toxic friendships and it is by no means good for your well-being.
Be sweet and nice, but think of yourself and remove everything that is bad for you from your life, including People who aren't your true friends.
Good luck! 🙂