”Actions speak louder than words” – I heard this saying a long time ago, but it took me a while to really understand it.
When we were still together, I trusted you enough to let you hurt me.
When it came to my plans and my actions, I was completely open, whereas you always said one thing and did the other.
And do you know what the worst part was?
I always let you get away with stuff like that. Every time you saw that I was angry and about to break up with us, you came to me and promised me the stars from the sky.
And every time I fell for your sweet lies and your hugs that made me tremble. Every time I threw up thinking that you would change, that my love would change you.
But nothing came of it. I wasn't important enough to you to fight for me as for your own life. And you managed to hurt me with every action you did.
You caused me unimaginable emotional pain and even when I told you that you were hurting me, you didn't stop. rt.
I know nor how you called me names and insulted me every time you didn't like something I had done. Nothing I did for us suited you and you thought you were the only one who should make important decisions.
You said you loved me ; then you betrayed me.
You said you care about me; then you humiliated me in front of my friends.
You said we'd be together forever; then you betrayed our love with the first woman you met.
You lied to me everyday just to get what you wanted and me was so blinded by love that I couldn't even see it. I didn't want to believe that you didn't love me enough and that I didn't mean anything to you.
I was still living in my fantasy world and I thought that you would change and that you would love me again like you did when we started dating. But nothing came of it.
You didn't want to fight for me. You didn't want to chase me because I was already yours.
But the problem is that you should have chased me even though I was yours because that's the point of the Love is.
It's about trying and fighting for the one you love. It's about the little things because they matter the most.
And that was all I wished for – just a few little things that keep me alive. I just needed a little proof that you care about me and that you want us to make it.
I wanted you to fight for me but couldn't even do that you.
You hurt me so many times, and then you used your words to justify your actions. But actions can only be justified by actions.
Your sweet promises that you would change meant nothing to me because I had no proof of it.
I was fed up with your manipulation, your gaslighting, yours Lying and being in control.
I just wanted to get away from you and everything you embody. And in the end I left too.
When I saw that you will never change and that you will always fool me, I decided to say goodbye to you. But I have to admit that it wasn't easy.
There were moments when I wished you had never existed and there were moments when I wished the same for myself. You hurt me so much.
You were the man I loved the most, but at the same time emotionally crushed me.
And while I was throwing up worrying about the consequences of my relationship with you, I realized that you took all my goodness away.
You sucked all my energy out of me and I became completely callous.
Only because I was trying to protect myself from any emotional pain another man could cause me could, I shut off my feelings completely.
I blocked them and I let them go. nobody touch my heart.
I built high and thick protective walls around myself so no one would ever hurt me again. So I missed the chance to love and be loved again.
And when I saw what I had done, I woke up from a bad dream that I had been living in for too long.< /p>
I realized that even though you lied to me and did all these bad things to me, I should get on with my life.
The first phase of healing after ending my toxic relationship was to come to terms with it, but I definitely needed a full recovery.
After everything you did to me, I made a promise to myself that I would love again, hoping that another man in my life would not be like you.
I made a promise to myself, that I will open my heart to love despite all my fears and trust issues.
I promised myself that despite all the emotional wounds that were still there, I would love again . And that's how I was finally able to break away from you.
Because by opening my heart to a new love, I was able to heal my wounds and be my old self again.
I promised myself that I would love again with all my heart and that I would never let a man hurt me like you did.
< strong>I have decided to move on and be a happy and loved woman again.
And I know that it will be the best revenge on you when you see me like this.