For five years I hurt a great woman by staying with her, but me never fully decided for her.
I wanted to be with her. I really wanted to choose her. She was an exquisite woman, radiant and fun, sexy and sensual. She made my whole body laugh with her quick, dark wit and her exotic beauty made me smile. forget to breathe Waking up every morning with her snuggled in my arms made me so happy. I loved her beyond measure.
Unfortunately, like many young couples, our ignorance of proper ways to love has led to stressful challenges in our relationship. In a short time, after my morning blissful daydreams gave way to our tense, immature routines, I often began to wonder if there was another woman out there who was easier to love and who could love me better.
Every day for five years, I chose a little less for her.
As time went on, that thought kept reverberating in my head and I wanted her less and less. For five years, every day I chose her a little less.
I stayed with her. I just stopped choosing her. We both suffered.
Choosing her would have meant focusing each day on the blessings she brings into my life that I could be thankful for: her Laughter, their beauty, sensuality, playfulness, their company and so much more.
Sadly, it was almost impossible for me to appreciate – or to see at all – what was so incredibly beautiful about her.
I was too focused on the anger, insecurities, demands and other facets of her strong personality to wear me down. The more I focused on their weaknesses, the more I could find and responded with bad behavior of my own. Of course, that only added to the tension in our relationship… which made me want them even less.
I was too focused on the anger, insecurities, demands and other facets of her strong personality to wear me down.
So our horrible death spiral formed five years from herself.
She fought hard to make me choose her. This is wasted effort. You can't make someone want you even if they love you.
To be fair, I have to say that she didn’t totally choose me either. The angry abuse she threw at me is proof enough.
But now I understand that she was often angry because she didn't feel safe with me. She felt in my words and actions that I didn't choose her every day and she became afraid that I would leave her.
And I left her.
By not being completely convinced of her for five years and looking at what bothered me instead of what I admired about her, I let her down.
Like a beautiful ;a fragrant flower that I proudly brought home and then forgot; to water. I have left her alone in countless ways, where she withered in the dry heat of our relationship.
It's an ordeal for everyone.
I will never again choose a woman I love.
It's torture for everyone.
If you're in a relationship, ask yourself:
”Why am I choosing my partner today? ”
If you can't find a satisfying answer, dig deeper and find one. It can be as simple as realizing that deep down you are “just doing it”.
If you don't find the answer today, ask yourself again tomorrow. We all have those distant days.
But when too many days go by and you just can't connect to the reason you're choosing your partner and your relationship is stressful, don't go your partner Make room for another human being and look at them with fresh eyes and a longing heart that will happily choose them every day.
Your loved one deserves to be chosen enthusiastically . Every day.
You too.
Choose wisely.
