All of us know the old adage “The love of a heart grows with distance”, but are we really ready to test his love like that?
Do we have the courage to let it all be, just let go and see if he'll run after us?
In my personal experience, if you lack courage, you should do your best to muster it up.
Because really, that's the only way you can find out if you have the kind of relationship with him that's worth staying in.
“Will he miss me if I do leave me alone?” was the only question I kept asking myself when he said he needed some space.
He said it was all too fast and just too overwhelming.
He said he felt lost. He had lost track of what he was and what he wanted.
So he asked me if I could give him time to figure out what he wants.
I said I'll give him as much time as he needs, but everything inside me was screaming NO.
I didn't want us to be apart. I didn't need time. I knew what I wanted and he was it and I had absolutely no doubt about it.
But what should I do? force him to stay? That wasn't an option.
I would have done anything for him, I would have moved mountains to make him happy, I would have been willing to compromise, but the one thing I would never do is: re asking him to stay if he wants to leave.
And while his wishes broke my heart, I had no choice but to fulfill them .
I couldn't tug at his sleeve, I couldn't run after him screaming how amazing I am, how good we had it together how many great things are still ahead of us.
I couldn't because it didn't make sense; he already knew that.
And if he didn't feel the same way I did, what other option did I have but to leave him alone and hope deep down that my absence would break his heart will really make you think.
I was hoping so. But somehow I prepared myself for the worst.
I tried to be rational with all the pain I was feeling.
I knew it could go either way, that he might never come back, and that I could lose him forever.
I wanted to live forever ;r us fight. I wanted to call him. I wanted to text.
I wanted to knock on his door in the middle of the night and yell at him for being so stupid and heartless to let me go.
I wanted him to hug me, kiss me, calm me down and tell me he's not going anywhere, that he's here to stay.
I wanted that more than anything I did, but I decided to be stronger than myself.
I remembered all the real-life examples of my friends who had been in similar situations.
They ran after their partners like there was nothing left in life.
They have written. They texted, even when their messages were ignored.
They called until they didn't see the point anymore or until they got mad.
They basically did whatever they could think of to keep her in her life a little longer, but that pulled her even further apart and there was no turning back.
I figured that no matter the path, I would I choose would have the same risk of losing him.
Would he miss me if I left him alone? Would he realize that he loves me? I really couldn't answer that.
But I chose this path.
I decided to respect his wishes and see what will happen.
I knew that if nothing else happened, I would at least keep my dignity if things didn't work out the way I wanted.
I decided to act like we broke up and like there was nothing I could really do.
I was so sad that words cannot describe it. I could, but I knew there was no other way.
I needed to mourn my lost love.
I needed to get my life back on track and see who I would be without he was who I was when he was absent from my life.
So that's exactly what I did. I started to rebuild myself. I started rebuilding my life. I've had ups and downs.
I had days where I lay in bed wide awake and couldn't get him out of my head.
I had days where I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.
I had days when I couldn't move. I've had days when I conquered the world.
But that's all part of the process that is life.
When I finally moved on, when I made peace with the fact that we were part of the past, he came back.
He realized he was just nuts. That he was just getting scared.
But at that point I was the one who didn't know what to say.
I was the one whose heart was breaking in millions of tiny pieces. broken. I was the one who had to glue all those pieces back together.
I was also the one who still loved him with every broken piece.
So after some time where he was stubborn and fighting to get me back, I gave him another chance.
To date I haven't pulled it back and I hope that I never will.
So if I asked myself the question again, ”Will he miss me if I leave him alone?” my answer would be: ”Definitely, YES.”
But all in all, it could have gone the other way – so it's good to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Knowing how difficult this is, I want to raise a few points to get the whole point across – and to lighten hope time:
1. You really have no choice but to respect their wishes, so why not?
You should never beg for someone's attention. You should never beg for someone's time and affection.
You should never, under any circumstances, beg someone to stay if they already have a foot on it. is out the door.
He'll leave no matter what you do or say.
The thing is, when you look beyond your feelings and the reality ;t realize that someone wants to be left alone, there is no other way but to let them go, no matter how hard it is.
Begging for someone's love is never a good idea. Love should be freely given.
It should come naturally for both of you and cannot be forced.
2. Ignoring him really is the best way to get his attention
Whether he's saying he wants to be left alone or showing it through his behavior, you should never go into bracket mode and chase after him.
Even if you notice that he enjoys being followed, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be followed too.
He should be the one to match you by making equal effort and investing just as much.
He shouldn't let you falter by being hot. and playing cold or other mind games.
Chasing after him won't get you anywhere, so the best thing you can do is stop.
Ignoring him to get his attention is the best method you can use if there's any chance the relationship can work.
3. Use reverse psychology
The thing is, when he's afraid to commit, if something in his relationship with you is making him pull away the more you try to keep it, the wider the gap between you will be.
That's why you have to use reverse psychology.
Reverse psychology basically means doing the opposite of what he would expect you to do.
He would expect a message from you; you know, the kind of message you send just to be easygoing and friendly and check on him.
Don't do that. On a subconscious level, it will send him the message that you're desperate.
Men like to be needed, but they don't like being chased.
< p>Males are born hunters, so they will inevitably be after what they want.
If he really needs some time to think it over, then he will he'll come to you the moment he's ready.
If not, unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it.
4. Give him space so he can miss you
Texting him is the most difficult form of communication. Messages give us a false sense of security.
We don’t need to see him or hear his voice, so we avoid feeling shy or embarrassed about something we might say.
So we broadcast one message at a time, and if all messages go unanswered, we'll send more.
We even send those long texts explaining everything that's on our hearts. But we're just sabotaging our own chances.
Our partner asks us for some breathing space and we keep suffocating him, causing him to run even further away.
That's why we need to break away from writing and from everyone other forms of communication if we want him to miss us and have a chance to make him change his mind.
He can't miss us if we're still around .
He needs a chance to see what he's missing.
Everything you mean to him, everything he has with you, everything you've done for him, he could take for granted.
He needs your land; smile, your listening ear, miss all your support and affection.
He needs to miss your love so he can see what it's like to live without it.
< p>Unfortunately, sometimes people are unable to see what they have while they have it.
That's why they don't realize the true value of the people in their lives until they almost lose them.
So let him lose you, let him lose everything you are and everything you put into the relationship you.
If he doesn't miss you, then he was never worthy of your time.
5. Remember who you are without him
What I realized in my time away from my boyfriend was that I not only miss him, I miss myself as well.
Somehow I lost sight of the things that were important to me.
I neglected my friends. I've dropped my interests as if they didn't matter.
I forget what my smile looks like when he's not the one to put it on my face.< /p>
I should never have done that. And neither should you.
The thing is, we have to truly love ourselves with all our hearts in order for someone else to love us too.
And that's not a cliché, that's the honest truth of God.
Sometimes we are so in love with someone that we reluctantly change so much.
We adapt meet his needs and forget that we have our own.
We go all the way instead of meeting him halfway, instead of accepting that we had a life before him and that we have it after will have him.
Therefore we must restore our lives. We need to remember to love ourselves more every day.
We need to appreciate the people in our lives who are always there for us.
They are the ones who cheer on our good days and stand right by our side on our bad days and we should never forget that.
We need to start making things for ourselves to do.
Because putting yourself on top is not selfish, it is necessary and whatever the outcome, having our own lives regardless of our relationship status will do us good.
We have to remember that our better half should be an important part of our life, but never our whole life.
6. Do not post too much on social networks
This also has to do with point 4 and give him space to miss you.
If you're still friends on Facebook or follow each other on Twitter or Instagram, don't show your feelings too directly for him and everyone else to see.
For one thing, it's unifying poor people an opportunity to rejoice or comfort themselves when they see that it is not just their lives that are miserable.
First and foremost, he will see through you and you will achieve the same effect that you would achieve by messaging; it would make you look desperate.
He would probably feel sorry for you, and that's certainly not what you want to achieve.
It's best, at least for Not posting anything on social media for a while.
If you still feel the need to post something then, be smart about it.
Post something that will subtly hint at your emotions, such as: B. someone’s story you want to share, or a song that might stir something up in them.
Change your profile picture from time to time so that they can see what what he's missing.
What I'm trying to say here is that you can use social media as a little boost that he needs to arouse his emotions and make him miss you.
But if you overdo it and post excessively, it can backfire and the results will be the complete opposite of what you were hoping for.
7. Mutual Friends
Similar to social media posts, mutual friends can be either beneficial or destructive to your chances of making things right .
He might have a similar sense of intimacy with your mutual friends so they can tell you how things are on his side of the fence.
But this communication goes both ways, so keep in mind that what you say may also reach his ears.
Be careful what he is allowed to know. Reveal a little, but keep some things to yourself.
The mysterious secret of not knowing if you miss him or not might be just what makes him do it wondering why he has no information about you.
Is it possible that you forgot everything about him and let him go?
He won't be able to get it out of his head.
But be careful. While these tactics work with social media and mutual friends, they will only evoke emotions in someone who has real ones.
However, if he isn't serious about you, if his feelings aren't true, they will these tactics can only be short-term.
He'll only come back to see if he can, just to find out if you're still in love with him and missed him.
He has no intention of staying.
8. Prepare yourself for the likelihood of encountering it
And it will be painful. It will hurt to look at him and not have him in your life.
I've experienced it. I fell apart inside, but I kept my calm on the outside (at least I thought I did).
I remember going home and crying my heart out.
Just thinking about it is painful and being in the moment was even worse.
You don't have to act strong if you don't feel strong in this moment.
< p>I was okay with myself at this point, so in a way it made the whole thing easier.
Although it's never always easy, I was kind of, after all, proud of how the whole thing did ran.
He even asked how I was doing. I said I'm okay. I wasn't lying.
For me, okay is somewhere in the middle between totally devastated and absolutely amazing.
I suppose okay is the best , which I could have been under the circumstances.
It also confused him that I stuck to the small talk and skipped all the big words I wanted to say .
That wasn't typical for me. I've always spoken my mind.
I guess at that point he knew I had learned the difference between wanting and needing.
I really wanted him in my life, but I didn't need him.
< p>And that made the difference. He knew if he didn't pull himself together, he risked losing me forever.
9. In case you're in a long-distance relationship
You don't risk meeting him, so that's one of the things that helps a little.
But day-to-day communication is something he's used to. He's used to you being just a phone call away.
But what happens when that's no longer possible? If you refuse him all contact?
Because even if he said he wants space, he'll probably come back eventually.
But if he's not ready, keep the relationship going he shouldn't waste your time.
You shouldn't listen to his daily dramas and engage in any meaningless conversations when he knows you have strong feelings.
He's more likely to miss you if you leave him alone.
Keeping in touch with him will give him some kind of illusion that you are still a part of his life, even though he is not ready to make even the slightest commitment to show.
If you're in constant touch, he won't miss you emotionally, and he's already used to missing you physically, so he sees that as the normal state of things.
Show him that you want it all or nothing. If he really misses you, he won't be able to bear not hearing from you for too long.
If he doesn't, at least you'll know where you stand and that it's time is to keep going.
10. The no contact rule can be very helpful
Many people use the no contact rule to get their ex back or to ease the healing process for themselves.
I've used it twice – once earlier when I was trying to get over my toxic ex and then when I was trying to get my runaway boyfriend back and it worked both times.
The no contact -rule means just that – following the rule of not having any contact with your ex at all for a certain period of time.
No messages or calls, no friendship on Facebook, no follow on Instagram; it means no communication for a period of time or indefinitely (depending on the situation), and not even if he contacts you.
This no-contact period is for you to reevaluate your feelings rate and see where you stand.
It's a great way to get some much-needed distance, some perspective and see if you have something to wait for or if it's better to be out of touch forever have.
If you want your ex back, this rule is important because it gives him a chance to see how bitter life tastes without you.
We coming back to the fact that it's important to give him enough space and time to miss you.
He needs to see everything he loses when he doesn't have you in his life.
It seems common for most men, especially those with attachment issues is not realizing the worth of a woman until they lose her almost forever.
In case you're wondering, ”Will he miss me if I leave him alone?”, I can't answer that for you.
But what I can tell you is that it's worth the risk. It pays to test your true feelings and it's better to do it earlier in the relationship than later.
This all probably sounds a bit scary and you might have Fear of letting fate take its course.
But the truth is, whatever you do, you cannot control the outcome.
Things always happen as they are meant to . And while we can influence a lot, it's one of those things that's out of our hands.
We can't force love. We shouldn't have to convince anyone that we're worthy of their presence.
We shouldn't and, most importantly, we can't.
< p>There are no messages, no calls and no words that can bring back someone who has already decided to leave forever.
But if someone is somewhere in between, if someone is questioning the whole thing because of his own personal issues and any fears he may have, isn't it better to leave him alone and make him miss you?
If you behind If you were closer to him, if only he left sooner. Therefore, the best thing to do is to do nothing at all.
If he misses you, he will come back. If he doesn't, he wasn't meant to stay in your life anyway.
You can never keep someone who isn't meant to stay.