Relationships are hard work.
Sure, they're wonderful and often worth the hard work, but sometimes it's just too much for some people. Especially for overthinkers.
To have a stable and solid relationship, you need to believe in yourself and your partner, and – as you have already guessed – you can't if you think too much.
Overthinking often destroys relationships in the end.
The problem is this: anxious people already know they are anxious, so they feel like a burden right from the start.
Anxiety disorders are often brought on by low self-esteem, which doesn't help either.
Overthinkers want to find someone who understands this, but it's hard to imagine anyone accepting them like as they are, because – let's be honest – the fear has a strong impact on personal habits.
She's the reason you seem so weird at parties and sometimes hate yourself.
Everything that seems so easy and normal to other people is so difficult and unattainable for an anxious person.
Why is that? Those who suffer from anxiety disorders are practically unable to live in the here and now and are constantly worried about what has happened or could happen.
It's like having a constant premonition of something negative that you can't control.
It's understandable that nobody can function normally when they live under constant stress and anxiety. It paralyzes a person and makes every little everyday task tiring.
What's even worse, anxious people tend to be the type of people who appreciate every tiny detail around them perceive, which just means there are more things to worry about.
They notice odd looks, voice changes and the tiniest of gestures, and then make a huge thing out of it in their heads.
So what can be done to help an anxious person have a normal and healthy relationship?
One of the most important things you can do is tell him clearly that everything is okay, and often. It's very simple, but effective.
Make him see what's going on in the present and don't let him roam around in his mind (especially in the beginning of the relationship when usually each of us is a bit nervous around our partner).
Don't give him anything to worry about – tell him what you think right away if something happens.
Don't be afraid to take control of certain aspects of your relationship or your life together .
You can make the decisions because he probably has a problem with his indecisiveness.
Read between the lines.
If he sometimes gives short answers it can mean that something is bothering him, but he doesn't want to admit it because it's too embarrassing for him.
The same applies to nervous tics like fiddling with hands, shaking feet, etc.
If you notice these tics, don't say something like: Why are you so nervous? Are you ok?
It will only make things worse because he will be hyper conscious of himself and his body language and will know that nervousness is all over his face .
Try to just talk to him instead and distract him from what's bothering him at the moment.
An open, honest and mindful conversation can solve almost any problem, including this one. So talk more often.
Understanding someone's fears is one of the highest love languages. Just remember that not all fears are obvious at first glance.
Aside from soothing words, conversation and mindfulness , it's important to make it clear to your partner that you accept them for who they are.
Lead by example and show them that you can love and care for someone even if they have certain problems and struggle to accept themselves.
Be his safe haven but also his eye opener. You can be both, you just have to do it right.
Anxious person worries too much, but that also means they care too much about you.< /strong>
He just has to have complete faith in you – then everything will be better.
It is priceless to trust that someone understands you, loves you, cares for you, protects you and will stick with you through thick and thin.< /p>
In return, you'll get the most amazing love you'll ever experience – the love of someone who cares about your every thought and every part of you.
Someone who will cherish you for the rest of your life.
Because if you think too much, you love too much.