There is this one little monster that lurks in all of us and drives us to behave irrationally.
This little monster is called Jealousy. It hides somewhere deep within us and when it wakes up it eats us out and casts doubt on everything we believe in.
The subject of jealousy is one of the most debated topics when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
When we talk about romantic relationships, we often disagree about whether it is healthy to have a small dose of jealousy in a relationship or whether jealousy ü shouldn't exist at all.
When we talk about the business world, the question arises whether jealousy motivates us to work as hard as possible and to be as good as possible, or whether it has no place in this type of relationship either has.
However, it can be said that the main problem in both cases is excessive and morbid jealousy and as such it severely disrupts any kind of interpersonal relationship.
Jealousy implies a lack of trust, a suspicion of deceit and lies, and a lack of love, and it tests every relationship.
But why are we jealous in the first place and what can you do against jealousy?
What is jealousy?
Jealousy is an emotion that is usually the result of negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, anxiety and fear triggered by the expectation of losing something someone cares about, such as friendship or (usually) love /p>
Jealousy can also appear as envy of someone who has something we don't have, such as a good career, money, cars, travel or even love.
Although we are all jealous at times ;are jealous, it is not the same intensity and there are different types of jealousy:
Mild jealousy: We are all familiar with the feeling of mild jealousy.
It's that little stab in the heart when another woman flirts with our partner or when another colleague gets promoted and not us.
It's a more or less temporary feeling and has no serious consequences for the relationship or employment.
Moderate jealousy: In this case, the jealous partner usually has no reason to be jealous.
Because the root of their jealousy lies in a lack of self-confidence, the jealous partner is emotionally dependent and looks for a token of love through attention and reassurance.
When they don't get it, or when their partner does gives it to someone else, the little monster wakes up.
Massive, pathological jealousy: This kind of jealousy is a real relationship killer.
In this case, the jealous partner is constantly controlling the other, won't let them go anywhere without them, and wants to nip any possibility of losing them in the bud.
In intercourse Morbid jealousy usually requires professional help.
Why are you jealous?
To know how to deal with our little monster and how to tame it properly , we must first know where it comes from, or what causes jealousy there are.
There is a difference if we experience the feeling of jealousy only occasionally, for example in situations where our partner is obviously flirting with another woman, or if we are jealous without any reason.
However, all types of jealousy mostly boil down to the same causes and these are some of the explanations for why jealousy occurs:
1. Lack of self-love
First and foremost, the source of jealousy lies deep within ourselves and these are our insecurities, feelings of inferiority and a lack of self-love.
People with a lack of confidence and self-love do not have a healthy image of themselves.
Most of the time they look for flaws in themselves while only seeing virtues in other people.
They constantly try to make up for this lack of self-love with their partner's attention, reassurance and constant compliments, but even then they don't feel loved because they don't believe they are worthy of love .
You are always comparing yourself to others and fear that someone prettier, more attractive or smarter might catch your partner's attention and make him want you abandonment is deeply rooted in their subconscious.
The fear of losing your partner is stronger than love for them and the desire to build trust.
On the other hand, people who are at peace with themselves don't develop feelings of jealousy as easily.
They don't need constant attention and suffer less from emotional dependency.
< p>You are self-aware and find it easier to have a happy relationship.
2. Childhood Loss
When a person has lost someone who was very important to them in their early life or in their youth, a fear of loss can arise.
Her jealous behavior is nothing but a projection of those fears of loss because she doesn't want to go through the same pain and agony again.
This is most often the case when a child's parents or relatives die, if the parents are divorced or if the child moves often and loses its circle of friends with every move.
At this stage, the child develops a sense of insecurity, believing that they can no longer rely on or trust anyone.
Later in adulthood, insecurity turns into suspicious behavior towards his partner and jeopardizes his relationship.
3. Breach of trust
Sometimes the reason for jealousy can be a breach of trust and negative experiences with people who meant a lot to us.
When a person experiences that their trust has been betrayed by a loved one, they are unlikely to be able to regain trust in people.
Once trust is broken, it is difficult to rebuild.
This is most often the case when one partner commits adultery in the form of infidelity, flirting, or writing to other people.
In this case, people want to protect themselves from this pain and therefore react jealously when they realize that their relationship could be jeopardized by a third party.
Kö can social networks cause jealousy?
And how! As we now live in a world of imagination where perfect love, perfect bodies and a perfect life are presented, it is easier than ever to develop jealousy.
Some research has shown that that the feeling of jealousy increases with the use of social networks.
The fact is that before the social networks, we compared ourselves with a narrow circle of people, e.g. family members, co-workers, friends and the like.
And now we not only compare ourselves to them, but also have one-click access to other people's lives.
That's why the The circle of people we compare ourselves to is larger than ever.
Even though we're aware that most of it is fake and that the pictures tell one story and behind the camera another, you still get self-doubt and think:
How can she afford a luxury vacation and I can't? Why am I not as attractive as you?
How can these two be so happy while my partner and I fight each other ;arguing constantly? Etc.
In addition, social networks significantly influence the growth of jealousy in romantic relationships.
Research has shown that because information about a partner's relationships and interactions on social media is accessible to the jealous partner, feelings such as distrust and jealousy can grow more.
These feelings can then lead to a range of unhealthy behaviors, such as spying on and monitoring one's social media activities and interactions with one's partner.
Just liking someone else's picture is enough to prompt questions like “Who is he/she?” Why do you like her pics?” etc. which eventually leads to jealous outbursts and arguments.
To what extent does jealousy destroy romantic relationships?< /h2>
If you have ever had a jealous partner or are jealous yourself, then you know that the answer to this question is: a lot!
Of course there are situations when jealousy is justified and they say that a little jealousy is a good seasoning for a relationship, but too much jealousy creates problems.
A jealous one A person who cannot control their behavior, constantly blaming and dramatizing their partner becomes unbearable.
If they exaggerate, it may be considered psychological abuse.
Of course, in a relationship, people set boundaries about cheating, cheating, and lying, but that nagging feeling can push those boundaries down to the point where the other side feels like they're in prison ;holds.
Any harmless laugh is considered flirting and any business conversation or business trip is considered the basis for infidelity.
The Partner of the jealous person feels their freedom is restricted in the relationship.
He feels like he has his partner's watchful eye on him all the time, even when he's not around.
There is a certain amount of pressure and when this happens, arguments are inevitable.
Lack of trust in a relationship is a first warning sign that the relationship is at risk and if left unchecked, the only option is to break up.
It happens that a jealous person gets exactly what he fears from his anger and harassment.
In the beginning of a relationship there was no real reason for jealousy, but one side didn't see it that way and kept making jealous scenes.
After a while, she pushed the other person into doing the very behavior she was throwing at her and the fear Losing your partner is becoming a reality.
…and labor relationships?
Likewise! When you develop an unhealthy, hostile attitude towards co-workers out of jealousy, it's easy to spot and very bad for the work environment.
You feel a certain dose of tension in the air and it's disruptive; Constant rivalry causes a lot of pressure and stress, so it would be better to avoid such behavior.
How to deal with jealousy: 6 tips to get jealousy under control
< h3>What to do against jealousy: find the trigger for your feelings of jealousy
The first and fundamental question you need to find an answer to is why you are jealous and if your jealousy is justified. It's time for self-reflection!
Dig deep into your subconscious, dig through your feelings and find the source of this behavior that threatens to destroy your relationship.
< p>• Did you have a bad example of relationships in the area where you grew up?
? Have any of your parents been unfaithful?
• Have you had bad experiences in previous relationships?
• Have you been scammed?
• How do you feel in your own skin?
• Are you self-aware?
• Do you suffer from a lack of confidence?
Answer these questions and find the trigger for your own jealousy so you can overcome it.
And remember: When it comes to jealousy, the problem is usually not with the partner's behavior, but with us.
Yes, there are exceptions, but the biggest problem is our own insecurity and feelings of inferiority ;hl.
So take a look at yourself and your life and take the first step to fight your enemy of jealousy.
What to do against jealousy: Develop a positive self-image
What I keep repeating and can't seem to stress enough is the importance of self-love.
A person who has enough self-love and self-respect will never feel threatened by others.
She will stand firmly on her feet and be aware of her successes, good and bad.
And the person who has nothing to blame has bad qualities too, but he is himself aware of and accepting them.
Such a person knows that he is not perfect, so he does not look for perfection in others.
She knows that when her partner cheats or lies to her, she does not forgive him for a long time grieving for a while, but letting the thought that it's his loss guide you.
That's why it's important to boost your self-esteem.
You don't like having a few extra pounds? So grab your tracksuit and head to the gym!
Would you like to learn a little more about culture in general? Read, go to museums, watch the news and follow educational websites.
You can turn all your insecurities into your greatest strengths if you give them enough attention and commit make a little effort!
What to do against jealousy: Don't compare yourself to others
If you are doing this then you must stop immediately. We're all different and that's why we're special in our own unique way.
Do you think that your work colleague who is attractive, has a good husband and an enviable career doesn't have her own insecurities and problems?< /p>
Do you think that a person who has enough money to fly to the Maldives would be lucky in life?
Do you think that bouquet of roses your girlfriend received for her birthday and posted on Instagram with the hashtag Couple-Goals necessarily means a happy relationship?
Comparing yourself to others is not good for your well-being and can lead to pathological jealousy and envy.
And that's because you only ever see what you don't have in other people and forget all the good things.
It leaves you in a state of self-doubt and dissatisfaction with yourself and your partner.
You look for flaws in yourself and in your relationship and develop feelings of jealousy.
Turn off social networks for a while, devote yourself to yourself, your relationship and your partner.
Write down all the moments when you were happy on a piece of paper. You will see that there are more of them than you think.
What to do about jealousy: learn to trust other people
We cannot avoid bad experiences with people. There will always be people who hurt us and situations that will leave us broken.
But that's no reason to lose faith in people forever and close our eyes to the good in the Shutting people down and not giving anyone a chance.
Even if you've been cheated on in previous relationships, it doesn't mean that it will happen again in this relationship.
One thing must be clear to you: the person who wants to betray you will do so too. It doesn't matter if you're in the next room or in another country.
It's just because cheating is a choice, not a mistake. You need to learn to relax and trust people.
Especially if your current partner has proven their trustworthiness in various ways.
A bad experience doesn't define your life. You determine it by putting bad experiences in the past, accepting them as a lesson and an integral part of life, and learning to trust people again.
What to do about jealousy: Distract your thoughts
Another thing that can fuel the development of jealousy is that you are overly attached to your partner and your relationship. This means you may not have friends, hobbies and interests of your own.
This often happens when moving to another city.
If the partner is going somewhere with friends and you are at home, there is a feeling of insecurity and you would prefer that he is not going anywhere and spends all his time with you.
If this is the If so, it's time to change that. It is not healthy for you or for the relationship to spend all your time with your partner and neglect your own needs and life.
Find new hobbies for you. r you who distract your thoughts from your jealousy.
Get involved in something that you can invest your love and passion in and give your attention to.
Even in different activities you will always meet many people and make many friends, so that's it also a good thing!
What to do about jealousy: Consider professional help
And finally, if you feel that your jealousy is already connected to sick and borderline toxic behavior, you can seek professional help.
You can include your partner in everything. Through communication and support, both of you can find a solution to your condition and improve your relationship.
With the help of experts, you can find the reasons for your jealousy and better deal with them.
Don't be ashamed or think there's anything wrong with that. It's just the opposite!
Seeking help is proof that you are aware of your problem and want to solve it in any way you can.
It is proof that it interests you.
So be persistent and determined in the fight against jealousy and don't let it destroy your happiness.
Can jealousy be good?
Jealousy can be good for a relationship until it turns into manipulation and aggression.
It shows your partner that you still like them. Sometimes couples need that extra encouragement to remind them how much they mean to each other, but without exaggeration.
Jealousy can be a real trigger for passion because they are the Makes your partner look at you in a different way.
Once a relationship gets settled, it's easy to forget what drew you to the better half.
If you occasionally show jealousy to your partner, you will boost their confidence and show them that you care about them.
Jealousy can also be a good indicator that you are not satisfied with yourself and a good motivation to change this too.
But anything that crosses the line is of course not healthy and you have to find out for yourself where it is limit is.
Conclusion: Jealousy is a feeling that each of us has experienced at least once in our life.
It comes in the form of Fear of losing someone who means a lot to us in life.
It varies from mild to pathologically toxic form that requires professional support in treatment.
You can only fight against jealousy if you recognize the causes in time and make an effort to maintain the relationship and your own well-being.
The The path is a bit thorny, but with effort and a lot of patience you can cross it. ?