Living with a narcissist is painful and exhausting. It's a situation that you're caught up in, and no matter how much you want out, it's not that easy to just walk away.
But after you hit rock bottom, after you get your self-esteem and When you are robbed of self-love, you realize you have nothing left to lose.
He has taken everything from you. So you decide to leave.
You decide to take your life back into your own hands and make it the way you want to. Nice for you!
But the fight doesn't end there, not for you.
This is an exciting time for you. You have made an important decision. You made the right decision.
But the road ahead is full of bumps. You have to be ready to embrace it.
You have to be prepared mentally and emotionally for the healing process that lies ahead.
Breakups are terrible, but breaking up with a narcissist is especially hard. You will have mixed feelings and your mood will change rapidly.
In order to face the upcoming changes, it is better to know what to expect and what is waiting for you.
Here are some of the things you will experience, after breaking up with a narcissist:
1. You feel scared
Breaking up with a narcissist doesn't have a happy ending.
Either he will get rid of you or you will leave him but he will always come back and use all kinds of tactics to get you back. Either way, it won't be pretty.
You won't be fine. Breakups are bad, especially these ones.
You know you'll never break up and you get nervous knowing he won't leave you alone. You know that he will disturb you in some way – it doesn't even have to include contact.
It drives you crazy and forces you to live fearfully, fearful of what will happen next.
Make sure it's really over. Try not to contact him.
If it doesn't work, just be as unsympathetic as possible. Even if he's bothering you, once he realizes you're no longer interested, he'll leave you alone.
Once you put things where they belong, the fear will ease as well. Just give it some time.
2. You are obsessed
You won't let go that easily. There are a million questions you want answered.
You want to know if he ever really loved you? Did he care about you even a little bit? How could he do this to you? How could he forget you so quickly?
The ghost of your riskiest relationship will haunt you because you haven't completed it and you never will.
You will hold on to the parts of the relationship that you left because you are dealing with what is happening still not feeling well.
What to do?
You will try to find answers to the questions get that bother you, but eventually you will let go because you will never understand what happened.
You're not a psychopath like him. You cannot understand how his mind works and why he did what he did.
3. You defend him
In order to accept what happened to you, you will try to explain his behavior.
You will trying to make excuses for the swearing, mind games, and abuse you experienced while you were with him.
You will try to give yourself a good reason for staying with him and therefore you will find excuses for his behavior to make the experience less painful.
You get to the point comes when you start missing him, so you'll start doing the same thing all over again.
You'll defend him and think that maybe he wasn't so bad after all. Don't fall for it. It's just your mind trying to make it a little less painful.
To do what?
Don't fall for the tricks your mind is trying to fool you. The truth is you don't miss him; you never did.
You were under his spell for so long that you got used to the toxic environment. You thought it was a normal environment to live in.
That's why you crave it. Ignore those feelings and just remember all the horrible things he did to you. If you take him back, he will do it again.
4. You feel no joy
When you're with a narcissist, you're used to all the drama happening around you. Something's always going on, and now that you're finally at peace, you're missing something.
It's cruel to say it, but actually you miss your narcissist.
You miss not him because of the love or the way he treated you. You miss him because now that he's gone there's no more insanity around.
It's all too quiet, and having dated a narcissist may come as a surprise: you're not used to everything being okay.
What to do?
Find something you can do. find a hobby Find the passion that's missing in your life.
Start doing whatever makes you happy, even the most trivial thing. It's one step closer to actually being happy.
5. You are lonely
What happened to you is not that common. It's not like a normal breakup.
Many people who have just gone through a normal breakup can relate to each other, but there aren't many people who have escaped narcissistic clutches, so you haven't lots of people to relate to.
It makes you lonely, like you're the only one out there.
This leads you to ask yourself questions like: Why me? But you are not alone.
There are so many people around you who have been through the same thing as you and are silent just like you.
What to do?
Join self-help groups and talk about your problem. Don't keep things to yourself because you will break down. You can't keep these emotions inside and deal with them alone.
Talk to your friends or support groups, maybe even a therapist.
Whatever it is, choose something because you need support now.
6. You are skeptical
You have been manipulated in your relationship with a narcissist. You have been told that you are crazy, that you are imagining things.
You have been told that you overreact and that you are the cause of all the problems, the main reason in fact why the relationship fell apart.
So when you find yourself in moments of loneliness, it makes you think. You have doubts about yourself.
You start to think that maybe your narcissist was right. Maybe you really overreacted to some things.
Maybe you should have been more understanding. Maybe it's your fault you broke up.
What to do?
Do not you see it? He's still manipulating you in your head even though you broke up.
It's just the result of all the abuse and mind games you've been through.
The mindset that it planted in you still pops up every now and then, feeding you with the ridiculous thoughts flying around in your head.
7. You are ashamed
Now that you finally see clearly what a horrible person he was, now that you see all the horrible things he did to you, you are ashamed that you didn't leave sooner.< /p>
You feel like an idiot for not leaving sooner, but no one who was in your situation left immediately.
We all think that we can help someone, that we can change that person, because deep in our hearts we believe that there is good in everyone.
Unfortunately, this is not the case for people with a personality disorder.
They cannot be cured. You can’t be persuaded to do anything differently than you imagined.
Just let go. It's not your fault. His manipulations were designed to turn you off completely.
His goal was to keep his victim under the impression of getting better for as long as possible.
< h2>8. You are angry
After a while, the sadness and suffering fade and everything turns to resentment and hate.
You channel your pain into hatred. You couldn't do this while you were in a relationship, so you're doing it now that you finally have the freedom to think for yourself and act the way you feel.
What to do?
Be angry. Let it all out because you will feel better.
After a while you will realize that hating will not get you anywhere and you will calm down. Just be very careful not to seek revenge.
You need to know that there is no way to beat a narcissist. The only way to hurt a narcissistic man is to take away the source.
Ignore him completely and make yourself unavailable.
Just don't do anything stupid to hurt him , because he will use it against you, and you will end up injured.