One of the most important moments in any person's life is when they have their first child. No matter how much you have prepared for this moment, you are never completely ready.
In this moment you discover a new kind of love and a whole new range of emotions. Such an important event, the birth of a child, brings joy to the whole family.
But you also learn very quickly what a new and great responsibility a child means. You are not only responsible for the life of this child, but also for his upbringing.
Your task is to make a decent and independent person out of this little baby.< /p>
And yes, no matter how old this child gets, for their parents it is always a baby that they are responsible for and want to protect from the world.
The mother-father partnership as a basis
The relationship between parents and children begins with the relationship between the partners. In the family, children learn what love means.
They also learn what partnership means and how to deal with loved ones.
New parents often make the mistake that they forget that they are still partners, that they are still husband and wife and not just parents.
Her children are suddenly her number one priority, followed by her spouse.
While that may sound logical, it's not a good image to convey to the children.
How parents behave towards each other is the first image children have of what their future love relationships will be like. It shows them what a good relationship should look like.
So don't be ashamed to kiss, cuddle, or exchange caresses in front of the children.
But some parents go so far as to never fight in front of the children, so as not to show them the hard sides of a relationship. That's not a good idea either.
It's not a good idea because kids are actually pretty good at reading emotions. They understand very well when something is wrong.
So if they feel a tension but don't see the argument, they learn from their parents that it's okay to contain their emotions. They will then behave like this in the future too, hiding and suppressing their feelings.
It is much better to show the children how to resolve arguments in a calm way can.
You can show the children that even if there is a fight, you don't have to shout and that you have to listen to the other person and come to a compromise together.
By treating each other with respect and love, parents set a wonderful example for their children of what a good relationship should be.
The importance of fathers in the early years
Children understand different genders from a very young age. They see the difference between mom and dad.
And every girl sees mom as a bigger version of themselves and boys see dad as a bigger version of themselves yourself.
They learn from their parents how they will develop. They also learn what is expected of them. But they also learn from their parents what to expect from the opposite sex.
During these early years, the relationship between parents and children is also quite close. Exchanging caresses, cuddling, hugging and kissing the children is something completely natural and normal.
In this way, children learn from an early age how to show affection and love for someone. They also learn what a beautiful feeling it is to love and be loved.
The love they experience now remains a model for future relationships in their lives.
At this age, the parents are still the most important people in the child's life. You are their heroes and when the children grow up, you want to be just like their parents.
Girls want to be like their mothers and boys want to be like their fathers. But a special relationship also develops between the child and the parent of the opposite sex.
People talk about mummy's boys and daddy's little princesses, don't they? Precisely because the relationship with the parents teaches the children how to deal with the opposite sex.
It is often said that women seek a partner who is similar to their father.
That's not entirely true, but a loving and good father-daughter relationship most often means that she will seek loving and good relationships later on.
Similarly, someone who has a bad daughter-father relationship becomes will allow bad relationships later on.
But why is that? Because we are familiar with such relationships. We are creatures of habit. Even the bad but familiar is often more pleasant to us than the unknown.
The father-daughter bond and self-confidence
Gender roles, which we have always been taught, are sometimes difficult to avoid.
Therefore, one often can see a girl cooking with her mother and the boy fishing with the father or working on the car and fixing something around the house with him.
When little boys fall, they are encouraged to get up and to carry on. But when little girls fall, they are often carried.
Although it is human nature to protect their children, one should not perpetuate such different behavior.
Children should not see any difference among themselves and that is why it is so important that one , even if the children are only a few years old, does not insist on gender roles.
If you teach the children that boys are not allowed to cry, that they must be good and brave, but that girls are allowed to cry and that they should be protected, that they do not have to be brave alone , this can have a very big impact later in life. And not a good one at that.
It has been proven that women in managerial positions have been doing these quintessentially manly things with their father since they were young girls.
< p>Of course, this doesn't mean that every girl has to aspire to a leadership position, but these positions are often associated with a higher level of self-confidence.
Well, the girls, not only playing with dolls or cooking, but also playing sports and climbing trees or driving racing cars and so on have much more self-confidence.
They are already learning in childhood that they don’t have to conform, but that they can achieve anything they want.
There is another mistake that is common in raising little girls. You can often hear She plays soccer very well for a girl or something like that.
Although meant well, that sentence doesn't mean it Praise. It means that the girl is doing something well that she shouldn't be doing. She's good at soccer would be a real compliment.
So self-confidence is built up in childhood. Here, too, the father relationship plays a very important role. We all know what mothers are like.
They think everything we do is wonderful. We are the best, we are the most beautiful in the whole world for our mothers.
Of course, our mothers really believe that, but we know that's a bit subjective is. But getting recognition or praise from your father is a bit harder.
That is why it is very important for future self-confidence that the father shows how proud he is of his children.
He is the first man she wants to impress. And the self-confidence she gets from him will show up later in her romantic relationships.
Teens – When the little princess becomes a defiant daughter
Years pass and little babies grow into teenagers. This is a very difficult time for young people, who now have to deal with body changes, but also with new emotions.
But it is also a time for parents very difficult. They are now losing the leading role in their children's lives.
These are mostly taken over by their friends or some celebrity who the children suddenly see as role models.
The children move away from the parents. They have their secrets and often lock themselves in their rooms.
This time can be very difficult, especially for the father-daughter relationship. The little daughter becomes a grown woman. She often bonds more with her mother during this time as they talk about women's issues.
On the other hand, whiteß her father no longer knows how to deal with her. The question arises if it's still okay to cuddle, hug, kiss and tell your daughter’s beautiful daughter’.
Yes, of course it's okay and shouldn't be avoided. It can be a bit strange for both of them, but puberty shouldn't be the end of the special father-daughter relationship.
Quite the opposite. Since this is the time of first love and romantic relationships, the role of the father, who is his daughter's first male image, is more important now than ever.
The hardest moment in father- Daughter relationship
The first boyfriend means that the father is no longer the most important man in his daughter's life. And that's hard for him.
Parents often believe that their partner isn't good enough for their daughter. And quite frankly, they're often right, but we don't realize that until later.
But when they say something against their partner, especially in their teens, they know they're risking their daughter even further away from them.
The only thing you can do is hope that you set a good example and that your daughter learned what makes a good relationship.
Like the father-daughter relationship, further relationships with male sex
It is already known that the relationship between parents, but also the relationship between parents and children, influences and models future relationships.< /p>
But what bad effect these can have on later relationships depends on what that relationship was like.
1. When fathers spoil
It's sometimes difficult to draw a line and not spoil the children.
Especially little men’ Girls learn very quickly how to get anything they want with a wink and a few tears.
And honestly, the father is the one who falls for these tricks more often than the mother. His little princess gets everything she wants from him.
Of course there is nothing wrong with granting your child's wishes, but there have to be limits.
When a daughter learns from her father that she is so valuable that no one can compare to her and that she can get everything she desires, it can cause problems in her later relationships bring yourself.
Either she later spends her whole life looking for someone who is as perfect and valuable as she is.
Of course she doesn't find anyone, because she's not a human being and she's not even that perfect is like her father said.
She is dissatisfied with every man she meets. She finds mistakes in everyone and in the end she remains alone.
Or she learns that men can and should be wrapped around their little fingers. She learns that men serve to fulfill her every wish. She spends her life manipulating men.
The parents do not want any of these options for their daughter.
2. When fathers don't show love
Another extreme is a father whose love must be earned who is never satisfied. One who never shows his love.
All her life the daughter feels worthless and as if she is not good enough. Such girls also have a great chance of finding themselves in unhappy relationships later.
They go from one toxic relationship to another and often end up with a partner who neglects them and doesn't show love.
Since their first male caregiver never showed them affection, they also know not later how to seek and ask for them.
With divorce more common than ever before, many children are growing up without a parent.
It is believed that the mother is much more important for the development of the children and that it is more natural for the children to stay with the mother.
So it happens more often that Children growing up without fathers. Father deprivation can mean that either the father disappears from their lives entirely or that his role becomes much smaller than before.
He spends very little time with the children and there is no real father relationship with the children.< /p>
Some children don't even know their father. Another man, such as a mother’s friend or an uncle or other member of the family may partially fill the father role for such children, but the father can never really be a substitute.
Children who grow up without a father always have a blank space in their lives and this can of course also influence the daughter’s future love affairs.
Often such girls or women find a partner who does a lot is older than her.
In this case, it is often said that she has a father complex. The partner then takes on the role of father in the life of this woman and fills this gap.
Disorders in fatherhood Daughter relationship can have a very negative impact on the self-image of the future wife, but also on their love relationships.
We look for a role model that we imagine in childhood, even later in life. It doesn't matter whether this image is positive or negative.
That's why it's important for fathers to teach their daughters from an early age how valuable they are and what they deserve.
How the father behaves towards his daughter, but also towards his partner, is the behavior that the daughter will also expect from other men.
So, fathers, loving and smart, is the key, not only to the relationship with your daughter, but also to her happy future.