Trying to argue or have a normal conversation with a narcissist is impossible.
You can try. You can fight for your right to speak, but you will get nothing.
If he wants it, he will make you feel like you're talking to a wall – an emotionless, cold and distant wall.
Your words just won't get through no matter how determined and loud you are. Talking to a narcissist can drive you insane.
You go in circles while talking to a narcissist and end up walking away, a perfectly sane person. I'm wondering if there's something wrong with you.
But what do we do when we start a relationship with a narcissist? We trust him.
And that's something you should do at the beginning of every relationship. You have a man by your side.
You believe that he loves you and would never do anything to hurt you.
So you give your heart and soul the person who is supposed to protect you and you get the cold shoulder. You're being abused, you're being set up.
Of course, this leaves you confused and hurt. Narcissists don't think like us.
They don't play by the rules and their way of thinking is completely different from ours.
Their sympathy doesn't exist, and never try to understand why a narcissist did or said something because you can't understand it.
Even if someone told you, it would totally illogical to you.
What happens when we realize who they actually are? At this point it is too late.
You're going in circles. You are always trying to prove a point to a person who thinks they are all powerful and correct.
Never start a conversation with a narcissist. You will lose!
Your manipulation is obvious to everyone but you. And the first mistake you make when talking to a narcissist is not agreeing with them.
If you find yourself in a situation where you cannot avoid talking to such a person, just patiently wait for them to finish what they have to say and no matter how painful it is, shut up and let go don't let it bother you.
A simple disagreement will unleash a full onslaught on you.
Instead of you being the victim for what you are, he becomes things turn around and suddenly you'll be the bad guy. Narcissists don’t engage in conversations, they engage in verbal attacks.
It's not in their interest to discuss things the way normal people do.
They want to mess with your head and win an argument. Nothing else matters except that they win the verbal match.
Here are the most common conversational tactics narcissists use to manipulate you.
< h2>1. Rear projection
When you talk to a narcissist, you can say something nice. You can really try to compliment him to get the conversation going in a different direction, but that won't be enough.
A narcissist will always take everything you say as interpret insult and personal attack on him. He will reverse everything and make himself a victim.
He will make you think you are crazy and make you the bad guy, which will confuse you because everything, what you wanted to do or say was something nice.
2. Change of topic
Every time you get the upper hand and you're right, and your narcissist doesn't know how to refute you, they change the subject.
He needs to take control of the conversation; ch have, and while you are engaged in your correct statements, he cannot achieve that.
But before you blink your eye, he will steer the conversation in another direction, in which you are no longer in control.
It will have nothing to do with what you talked about before and you will be in defense mode trying to prove your innocence.
A narcissist tries to intimidate you by shouting. He uses loud sounds to force you to back off during conversation.
This makes perfect sense when the narcissist is a man and the victim is a woman.
< p>Most women will back off when the roar begins.
This tactic is most effective when there are people around you, such as B. when you're in public.
Knowing that you don't want to risk public embarrassment, a narcissist will start a fight, preferably around that many people as possible because he knows he will win it. You will give in and try to calm the situation down.
When a narcissist changes the subject, they will blame you.
They will ask questions and bring up things from the past. Maybe some of them were your fault, but you dealt with them at the time – at least that's what you thought.
Well, that's not the case. He keeps these things in his head to use against you in moments like this.
Then you're the one to blame, you start defending yourself and you have no idea how the conversation changed course so quickly.
Everything what you know is that you are the one responsible for every single problem in your relationship and he is just an innocent poor victim.
5. Playing the victim
If he plays the victim, no one will suspect him of being the culprit.
He knows how to reverse the situation and prove he is the abuser.
For example, if you want something from him and ask him kindly, he won't respond with empathy.
He won't care that what you're asking about is very important to you. He will not apologize for not wanting to help you.
He will get angry and yell at you for not taking his feelings into account.
You haven't thought about his feelings and what he's going through.
Because when you're dealing with a narcissist, it's always about them. They are and will always be their own first priority.
And you'll end up being a bitch if you even dare to ask anything of him.
You know ;It doesn't, since he's a victim and no one knows how difficult you are to deal with.
That's his goal, to present himself that way to others and eventually cut you off Convince it's really the truth.
Since they love to be the center of attention in a crowd, they also love to be the center of conversation.
Their communication with you is a two-way street. If you're trying to prove an argument and you're very close, a narcissist will keep interrupting you to disprove your thesis.
When a narcissist talks to you, they have no interest in hearing what you have to say and the conversation needs to be on their terms or not at all.
So when they start, losing control, they interrupt to regain control and draw attention to themselves.
7. The Silent Treatment
The worst form of emotional abuse is definitely the silent treatment of a narcissist.
Narcissists use this to block you off when you haven't accepted what they perceive and say it is the truth.
When they have no other source of power, they use emotional manipulation to gain control over you.
Not only do they use it when they are wrong, but every time something, they don’t like, runs its course.
They use it when the couple need to clarify important issues or when you have done something wrong.
And the worst part is they won't talk to you unless you apologize – usually for what you didn't do.
So not only do they ignore you for no reason, you have to apologize and usually ask for his attention so he can have mercy and talk to you. Then he takes on the role of an almighty forgiver.
He gets so good and forgiving and he makes you remember the time you screwed up and he screwed you up has forgiven because he is a good soul.
The silent treatment is intended to make you feel unloved and abandoned.
At first it sounds strange that such a Behavior might evoke these emotions in you, but when silence becomes a regular thing, it has a big impact on you.