Shakespeare's famous quote: "To be or not to be, that is the question" can refer to practically anything that troubles us on a daily basis. The quote says so much, but at the same time says so little.
It is the prime example of something as wonderfully complicated as a woman's mind. Women tend to draw parallels before doing anything, and the same goes for writing.
To write to him or not to write, that is the question.
Shall I write to him? How many times have you asked yourself this question? And how many times have you really found an answer to that annoying question?
It's really hard to decide whether or not to text him (regardless of your status).
He could be your crush, your partner, or a stranger you've never met before, and yet the pressure is always the same.
This writing dilemma kills all the joy of new, existing, and potential relationships.
I mean, if you don't text him, you'll never know the answer. And if you write to him, you may not be satisfied with the answer.
Can you handle the truth?
When it comes to writing, you should always think carefully about whether you are ready to deal with the potentially bitter truth.
You have to keep in mind that not all guys are as polite and outgoing as you might have thought.
There are guys who will hurt your feelings by ignoring you (especially if they're not into you), and some will just ignore you because they like ”the unapproachable” play.
So if you text first, some of them will never text you back, simply because they enjoy the feeling of being desired by you, which makes them consider you for ;choose.
And if they want to keep that status, they can't reply to you.
I know that sounds sick, but that's the world we live in. And that's why you need to be prepared for every possible scenario if you decide to text him.
What are your motives?
Another thing to watch out for is your motives for texting him. Do you really like this guy and is writing just an excuse to get closer to him? Is there really something you can talk to him about?
Always think about your motivations for writing and you will find the right answer.
If you If you just text him for no good reason, chances are he won't text you back (especially if he doesn't know you).
But if you have a good reason to text him, don't hesitate. You need to know that there is a difference between writing with a valid reason and writing for no reason at all.
The biggest difference is that when you have a valid reason, you simply only want to talk to him because the topic is relevant to both you and him and it's not a waste of your time or his time.
But if you're constantly reminding yourself; If you come up with ideas to text him, it can develop into an obsession that isn't healthy for you.
Before you even think about writing to him, you should always ask yourself this question first: Can I handle the truth and what are my motives?
This will help you get closer to the right answer if you want to give him should or shouldn't write.
Also consider the following texting questions and rules that will help you find the right solution for a specific texting situation or a situation you find yourself in , to find.
Should I write to him or not? 10 golden rules for when to write and when to wait
1. Do you always text him first?
If you always text him first and you're wondering if you should keep doing that, the answer is no. You should never overdo yourself for someone who never gets in touch with you first.
Ask yourself why you are even doing this and you will get your answer. If you're only doing it because you really like him, even though you can see that he doesn't give a damn about you, then you shouldn't text him first.
If you're only doing it because you're scared, that he will never text you first, if you don't text him you are afraid of rejection and that is a serious red flag that you should change something.
If you always text first and always worry about whether you should or not, you'll never be really happy.
If he's your friend, you should try to talk to him about it To talk about and ask for some reasonable explanations, or if you have just met him or if he is your potential boyfriend, you should stop texting him immediately because he probably already has you as a takes for granted.
And if you wait and he doesn't text you first even then, you'll know he never meant it and that he's not worth your time.
2. Did he text you first?
If the guy texted you first, that's the perfect opportunity to text back. You don't have to worry here. Just reply to him and wait for him to text you back.
The only thing you need to decide though is do you like the guy or not?
If you don't like him, don't give him false hope so he thinks he has a chance with you. You should never force yourself to do something just because you want to be polite.
If you don't like him, you can always send him a short reply and tell him that you don't have time, him to text.
And if he respects you, he will stop texting immediately because you have politely indicated to him that you are not interested.
But if he keeps bombarding you with unnecessary texts even though he knows you're not interested, you have every right to tell him openly to stop texting you – or you can ignore his messages and maybe block him as well.
Always be careful when noticing such behavior as he could be a potential psychopath feeding on your attention.< /p>
When it comes to writing, this is the most dangerous situation you can find yourself in because if you don't intervene, it can quickly escalate into something bigger.
3. Are you under the influence of alcohol?
Alcohol and texting is a combination that should be avoided at all costs.
When you're under the influence of alcohol, it's hard for you to make sensible decisions and understand the thoughts that are going through your head.
So you should never text him if you are under the influence of alcohol.
< p>It doesn't matter if he's your partner, your ex, or someone else, the potential harm of texting him while drunk is the same in all situations.
When you're drunk when you're sober you say pretty much everything you can't say when you're sober, and that's the main reason why you should never text him in a situation like this.
You don't want to ruin everything you've built up with someone over the years just over two or three drinks too many.
It's always better to turn off your phone or give it to someone else when you're about to drink (so you don't get tempted to text someone).
And if your thoughts are bothering you all the time, then maybe you should talk to him about it instead of texting him.
4. Have you ever spoken to him (in person)?
If you've never spoken to him, you shouldn't text him. I'll explain why.
If you've never spoken to him personally, that means you don't know him.
And if you don't know him, you have no idea if they are afraid of commitment, emotionally unavailable, a psychopath or something else.
You can never be too careful who you write to these days because the world is full of unpredictable people.< /p>
Another argument why you shouldn't text him first is that he might think you're too shy or socially incompetent to meet him in person.
You know you get that feeling when someone you've never heard of suddenly texts you? You think he's a weirdo who doesn't have the nerve to speak to you personally.
And that's what he'll think of you too. If you really like him, you should think of another way to get in touch with him.
In summary, if you don't know the guy, don't text him first, it'll save you money you both time and nerves.
Life is too short to live it in an illusion and write to someone whose personality in the real world could be completely different.< /p>
5. Is he struggling to talk?
Remember the golden rule of texting: If he doesn't bother to talk, don't bother texting him.
It's that simple. If a man If he doesn’t bother to have an interesting conversation with you, he’s not worth your time. Basta.
And how do you know if he's trying his best to talk to you?
You'll know he's trying when he always answers on time (you don't have to wait hours for his answer) when his answers are full sentences (rather than just a word or two) when he sends you emojis, etc.
If he does all of these things, it means he really cares about you and the conversation you're having.
It means he wants you to know that he is there for you and will do anything to make you feel comfortable when you text him.
It means that he isn't self-centered, that he doesn't only think about himself and only answers or texts you when he needs you.
There's a big difference between a selfish and a selfless guy.
A selfish guy will do anything to please himself, whereas a selfless guy will do anything to please you.
6. How many messages did you send him today?
If you send multiple messages to a guy who hasn't replied to you, he'll think you're desperate.
I know there is nothing worse than not knowing whether or not he will finally text you back, but please don't text him again.
You are a beautiful, confident woman Woman, and you should never let him question your confidence and self-esteem.
If you're really dying to text him, try doing other things to take your mind off it.< /p>
He should never be a priority for you if he treats you as an option. You are not an option and never will be.
So if he doesn't text you back, turn off your phone if necessary and enjoy your life without thinking about him.
Remember that the most important thing you should be concerned about is your happiness and not some guy who didn't text you back.
7. Are you dating him?
If you're with him and you're wondering whether or not you should text him, you need to think about why. Do you find that your partner has suddenly distanced himself?
Or that something is wrong with him? Is that why you're afraid to text him?
Not knowing if you're allowed to text someone you're in a relationship with is a potential red flag that you might be wrong need to change something.
Has he been ignoring your needs lately and do you want him to pay more attention to you?
If so, you're probably afraid that he doesn't have feelings for you anymore, and you're not sure if writing to him is the right thing to do.
You're not sure if this will fix things or just make things worse.
Whatever the reason, if you have any doubts about your relationship, it's best to talk to him in person rather than text him.
Demand that he tell you what's wrong with him, because that's the only sane way to deal with relationship problems.
Have you been in a fight with your boyfriend?
Conflicts are particularly thorny when it comes to relationships. When the argument is over, you never know what your partner is really thinking, and it's really frustrating when you're not quite sure what to do about the situation.
Should you text him or wait for him to text you first? Should you forget everything that happened and tell him how much you love him and that you don't want to fight anymore? Should you text him or not?
If you've had a fight with your friend and are now unsure whether to text him or wait for him to get back to you, it's best to to think about why you want to text him at all.
Do you want to tell him to fuck off or do you want to apologize for something you said to him?
If you just want to show him your anger, you shouldn't tell him to write. However, if you feel you should apologize, you can send him a message to make yourself feel better.
8. Would you like to send him something funny?
If you found something funny that reminded you of him and now you don't know if you should send it to him, you have my permission. Men love humor.
Humor is just ingrained in them and that's how they work. If you see a funny photo, video or anything else, you can send it to him without any worries because it will make his day. And who doesn't like to laugh?
A woman with a sense of humor is automatically ten times more attractive. If you like his funß understand, you should show him that you both have some things in common.
But it becomes problematic if you overdo it. It's not a good idea to spam him with thousands of funny pictures, videos or anything else because if you overdo it, it won't be funny anymore.
Instead, he'll think you're too trying hard to come across as funny, which isn't exactly sexy.
You should always be subtle when sending things like this, because less is always more.
If you send him ten videos a day just to make him laugh, he'll know you're targeting them looking for to send it to him. And it will seem like all you have to do is entertain him.
9. Did you just go on your first date with him?
First dates are always full of hope and potential disappointment at the same time. And texting plays an important role in this.
Should I text him? That's the perennial question that worries every single woman after the first date.
And the answer depends entirely on the guy, who you made an appointment with. Did he treat you like a real gentleman? If so, he'll probably text you first, and you just have to wait a little longer.
True gentlemen never forget to write to the woman they are interested in. So if he had a good time with you and you noticed his gentlemanly manners, you can be sure that he will text you sooner or later.
But if the guy who you dated, treated you badly (has absolutely no gentlemanly manners) and didn't care about your feelings, you shouldn't even think about texting them.
And if he texts you, find an excuse to stay away.
You should never settle for less than you deserve, and you should always give him some slack so he can text you first.
And if he doesn't, you can reconsider whether you should text him instead, but only if you're sure the guy is right for you.
And you'll know that if you pay attention to his body language and that how he treats you personally.
Our body language says more about us than our words, and you'd be surprised what you can find out just by observing his behavior.
10. Are you thinking of texting your ex?
The answer is “No”.
Don't even think about texting your ex, because that will do you more harm than good. Always remember that there's a reason he's your ex and not your current boyfriend.
Texting your ex is like walking on the minefield of your past and if you don't have a specific reason for it then don't.
It's okay if you still feel feelings; r have him, because that's totally normal.
Give yourself some time to get over him and let go of your past. And if you still feel the need to text him, try talking to him in person.
Don't try to express your feelings or get information out of him through texting.
Instead, focus on the present and take care of the people who love and need you.
Your past is not yours and there's no need to live in the agony of not knowing whether or not to text your ex.
But if he contacts you, show him not immediately how happy you are (even if you do).
Act like you don't care, and if he still doesn't give up, consider giving him a second chance. But only if he proves to you that he really cares about winning you back.
If you're still not sure, go with your gut!
If you're still not sure whether to text him or not, listen to your inner voice, which will tell you what's right. Always trust your intuition because you should never ignore it.
If that little voice inside tells you to text him, text him!
But if you do If you feel like it wouldn't be such a good idea, then don't. You can also ask your friends for their opinion on this.
Also consider that if you are constantly overly afraid to text him, it might mean the problem is yours.
If you're an introvert, you probably find texting and talking to him very stressful.
If so, try meditating, exercising, or do something similar to get rid of your fears and find the courage to text him (if you think it's the right thing to do).
Whatever you do, let yourself go don't control a case of fear. Because “If you don't try, you'll never know if it works.”