For some time now you have had the feeling that something is wrong in your relationship. You remember the beginning of your relationship when everything seemed perfect.
You felt like nothing and no one could stand in the way of your happiness. It was like you were dreaming and you thought he was the best thing that ever happened to you.
And now you have some doubts in your head … it's not like you don't love your partner.
And it's not like there aren't any happy moments in your relationship, but there are some doubts that bother you and give you sleepless nights.
Should am I breaking up?
If you've asked yourself this question before, it sounds like a relationship crisis.
Something should change about that, but how ? The hardest part is making a decision: should you fight or break up?
But how can you make the right decision and not regret it?
What if we stayed together now and realized we should have broken up? What if I break up and lose the love of my life?
Your head is so messed up it's impossible to think straight. So many thoughts, so many questions and nothing to make it easier for you to make a decision.
When you search the Google search engine with the question "Should I break up?" entered, it means that you cannot make the decision yourself. That's why I'm here!
Although I can't make the decision for you, I can point out a few things and give you tips on how to make the right decision yourself.
No relationship is perfect and there are many reasons why a relationship is in crisis.
Some of the relationship problems are solvable, others are not.
Let's take a look at where something may have gone wrong in your relationship, what caused the problem and whether you can work it out or breaking up is the best option for both of you.
Here you will find the most common reasons that lead to breakups and how you can decide correctly whether you still have a chance or not.
Reasons for the separation
There are many reasons that can cause a breakup. Most of the time these are small things that become bigger problems over time.
But in all relationships there are ups and downs. There are moments when you feel like you're in seventh heaven, but also those when you want to pull your hair out out of sheer rage.
Every relationship has its quirks, but many things can be worked on. With enough communication and mutual trust you can keep the relationship going.
But now you're at a crossroads: stay or break up?
Here are some of the most common breakup triggers, when it's worth staying in the relationship and when it's time is to say goodbye.
1. Daily quarrels
In every relationship there are little quarrels because it's just not natural for two people to have the absolute same opinion about everything .
Quarrels and disagreements are part of everyday life and nothing to worry about.
But when this crosses the line and when every little thing leads to an argument, then it is not healthy. The relationship is no longer a safe haven but a source of stress for both of them and that is not a good thing.
Should I break up? Here's what you should do:
Ask yourself these questions:
? Do I love my partner?
• Am I happy?
• Are there more good moments in our relationship than ugly?
If the answers to these questions are “yes” then it might be a bad idea to break up.
The best thing you can do in this situation is to be open and honest with your partner. Communication mostly solves many questions and problems in the relationship.
Think about why and how often you fight. Is it something serious like different future plans or just the socks on the bathroom floor?
This actually matters a lot because there are some things you can tolerate in principle.
If it's just a small argument and you make up immediately and then forget about it the next moment, then don't worry, it happens a lot in any relationship.
To avoid arguments, if something is bothering you, tell him in a calm way, or even better, with humor. It's a paradox, but men take seriously the things you tell them with humor.
By nagging, criticizing and blaming, you only achieve the opposite and only do everything even worse.
On the other hand, if you have already tried to draw his attention to your problems, but he is doing nothing for your relationship and every attempt at communication escalates into a fight, then this is already a serious problem.
You need to know that some things will never change. Especially if you spend your time re-educating your partner and changing their traits.
In most cases, this never turns out well.
If you answered ‘no’ then listen to your gut and intuition as they will tell you what is best for you and what to expect from a relationship.
2. Different future plans
– I want to live in the country. – I want to live in the city.
– I want to have children one day. – I only want to have pets.
– I want to get married. – To me, marriage is just a piece of paper.
It's one thing when you can't agree on whether to have pizza or steak for lunch, but quite another when you don't have the same plans and goals for the future.
If you have different opinions and views about the future, then your relationship probably has no future either.
Should I break up? You should do this:
The biggest mistake you can make in a situation like this is waiting for your partner to change their mind.
At the beginning of a relationship, we fall in love with someone, accepting everything that defines this person, even if they are different from us in some ways.
In the beginning, some things don't come to the fore. Nobody will say on a first date that they want a small house with a dog and 4 children in the future.
These things will be discussed later, but unfortunately sometimes too late.
In my opinion, having the same future plans is the most important thing for a stable relationship, because how can you be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want the same things?
I know, you fall in love each other and secretly hopes that the other will change their wants and needs over time. This could be the case, but let's be honest, how often does this happen?
For example, you want to have children, he probably doesn't. Despite this, you stay with him and give up your desires hoping he will change his mind.
He, on the other hand, thinks you agree with him and isn't worried about it .
If you can give up some of your desires and plans for the sake of your partner, that's perfectly fine, but if you're not 100 percent sure about it, then it will be soon ;affect your relationship sooner or later.
You will always have the feeling that you are missing something and that you have missed something.
So you can wait for years for the other to agree to a compromise and change their mind about what is in the most of the time this isn't the case at all.
In the end they both just realize that they've wasted time and years with someone who wasn't right for them to begin with.
3. No more similarities
You like to go out with your friends, he likes to sit around the house and drink beer. He wants to go to the mountains for a holiday and you want to go to the sea.
Yes, there is a certain attraction when you are different from one another, but sometimes those things can also be annoying.
When you're in a relationship, it's kind of logical to compromise and try different things together.
But if you don't have much in common, you will spend more time with other people and less time with each other, which in turn will cause you to grow apart. Of course, your relationship will feel these consequences too.
Similarities keep a relationship going. Of course, we feel more connected to a person with whom we have a lot in common.
It is precisely these similarities that strengthen love and trust because we spend time doing something, we love with the person we love.
Not doing a lot together can result in not seeing each other often and becoming distant.
For example, you come home from work and then he goes to play soccer with friends and you go out with your girlfriends and you don't see each other like that most of the day.
I always say that it is important to lead your own life alongside your partnership and to have your own hobbies, but also not to neglect your partner. A lack of similarities is therefore not a major reason for breaking up.
Should I break up? What you should do:
First and foremost, it is important that you communicate with each other and try to find time for each other.
A good idea would be to find a common hobby. Certainly there are many possibilities that you can discover together.
This is a great way for you to try something new, strengthen your relationship, and connect on a new level.
It doesn't have to be a hobby. You can also choose one day of the week or month when you go to the cinema together, for example.
When it comes to vacation and travel planning, you can always have one in such situations Finding a compromise: spend one holiday in the mountains and another at the sea, etc.
If you still love each other and want to be with each other then you can easily overcome these kinds of problems. Talk about it openly with your partner and find something together that you can both enjoy.
4. No more trust in partners
Trust is the cornerstone of every relationship and once lost, it is difficult to rebuild.
You pull the ripcord immediately and break up thinking that if you cheat once, you will do it again.
On the other hand, there are some who give the partner another chance and try to rebuild trust, but it's not always easy.
There will always be those doubts. You then become a control freak: checking your partner's smartphone, sleepless nights racking your brains over why the fling happened in the first place.
You fall into lovesickness that is very difficult to get out of. And that's not healthy at all. Neither for the cheated person nor for the relationship.
If your partner has cheated on you, this is already a serious problem and a very difficult decision to make.
Is it worth staying together? Is it worth fighting for? What if I experience another disappointment?
Should I break up? You should do this:
In this case, it is important to analyze the situation. What does cheating mean to you? Did you see him texting a co-worker or did he admit to sleeping with someone else?
We are all human. We all make mistakes and each of us deserves a second chance, but cheating really feels like a slap in the face to the cheated.
In such a case, I would advise you to break up if you're not 100% sure you can accept all the consequences this new opportunity brings.
That means not controlling him, not blaming him, and not blaming him. Because this is very difficult for the betrayer, the relationship is doomed most of the time.
If you make the decision to fight for your relationship and give him a chance to rebuild trust, I would then recommend couples therapy.
Speak to someone who can look at your relationship objectively and give you expert advice.
Of course, all on the condition that your partner really regrets their mistake and wants to regain your trust.
However, if after a while you notice a similar behavior pattern as the previous time, then it's time to say goodbye to him.
You deserve someone who doesn't think about, let alone have an affair with, someone else.
5. The fire is out
You remember the beginning of your relationship. It crackled between you. You could barely break up and were just looking for a way to be together all the time.
And now it seems to you that the two of you just live together as roommates. As if you are just buddies and not lovers.
You can talk about anything and everything and you still love each other, but there is no passion, no desire and no love like in the beginning.
Physical attraction is very important and connects two people. Of course, when someone is in a long-term relationship, that infatuation phase passes and it's not just about exchanging caresses anymore.
On the other hand, when the infatuation phase is over, it doesn't mean that love is over.
Sometimes we are so burdened with everyday life, obligations, work and children that we have neither the time nor the will for such things and our love life suffers as a result.
Shiß Obviously, a person will change over time, as will their needs and desires, which sometimes the partner cannot meet.
Should I break up? Here's what you should do:
If you're having a lull in bed, that's still not a reason to break up.
Your partner has it spoken? white he what you want?
Communication is very important as a successful relationship means that both partners are happy. Talk to each other, try something new and try to spice up your love life.
If you still love each other then everything is not so black because you can work on such problems together and find out what fü r both of you is the best solution.
6. The partner is violent
You are afraid to speak your mind because you know it will make him angry. You feel like you can't be yourself anymore because your behavior bothers him. He insults you and humiliates you etc.
Should I break up? You should do this:
This is the main reason for breaking up and when he engages in such toxic behavior there is no doubt that you need to leave him. Especially when he's violent, it's only a matter of time before his words start blowing.
Whether it's verbal or physical violence, no one should get abused!
In such cases, most women are very afraid to leave their partner because they never know what is going on in his head and what he might do.
You can always rely on your family and friends and ask them for help.
The most important thing is not to let yourself be abused, whether it's just insulting words or he's hit you before.
He'll probably ask you to come back. Buy gifts and roses and knock on your door, but don't fall for such tricks.
You must realize that violent people will never change!
Draw a line, go and don't look back, because nothing is worth your suffering.
To find the courage within yourself to leave, read this article: To the brave woman who left her abusive partner.
7. No more feelings
Have you been feeling cold for a while? Not only is there no tenderness between you, but you hardly ever talk to each other.
Does everything he does bother you? Can't stand being in the same room with him? When you're somewhere, do you refuse to go home because you know he's there?
If this or something like it applies to you, that's really a sign. r that you should break up.
If there are no more positive feelings at all, then there is no point in being with someone just because some things, like shared accommodation, finances, children and the like.
That way you are both unhappy and dissatisfied with your life. You can always be on good terms with each other. stand still, stay friends if it's necessary because of the kids or something else.
Another tip: If you're not sure if all your feelings for him are gone, you can maybe take a break from your relationship. Sometimes the temporary separation is a last chance to save the relationship.
You can find out more about breaks in relationships here to make your decision easier.
If you find that you don't miss each other and feel better when you're apart, then keep it that way. After all, you both deserve to be happy and to be with someone you truly love.
Bottom line:No relationship is perfect and it takes a lot of strength, effort and patience to have a happy relationship. If you've decided to give the relationship another chance, then I wish you the best of luck.
Sometimes a relationship can be saved, but sometimes you have to admit that you have to let the man you love go.
But if by reading this article you've realized that you've already made the decision to break up, it's time to Gathering up the courage to say goodbye.
After all, some things just can't necessarily be saved and sometimes a relationship really isn't worth fighting for. Even if the future is uncertain and you wonder how he will act.
Whatever you decide, the most important thing is to be happy and with someone being together with whom breaking up will not be an option.
Finally, here's how to start a reboot and process the breakup.