Shallow People: Why You Shouldn't Date Them

Superficial People: Why You Shouldn't Date Them

Shallow people are considered to be people who only pay attention to the superficial, make small talk and can't have deep conversations ;n. But is that really true?

What are the characteristics of a superficial person, how do you recognize them and what are the reasons for superficiality?

What does a relationship look like, how do you recognize a superficial one? Relationship?

We want to answer these questions in this article.

Social media have changed the way we look for a partner.

Previously, we didn't know what the other person looks like until you meet on the first date.

Today, everyone has several photos of themselves on their profile, so you can get a first impression of what the person is like.

Selfies and other photos help us to identify ourselves to put it in the right light: we can decide for ourselves what we want to focus on, we can show our best side and we can show what we love and like to do.

In this way, everyone can go looking for a partner according to their personal criteria and write to a suitable partner.

Of course, all this now only refers to externals.

And that's exactly where the problem lies: many people only concentrate on externals, so that the character is neglected.

Social media is full of superficial people who take pretty selfies but don't know anything about topics of conversation apart from the usual small talk.

Many people describe the term superficialas the opposite of profound, meaning a person who doesn’t bother to ”scratch” the surface in order to look deeper into someone or a deeper look into themselves to allow.

This superficiality is also reflected on all other levels of life, such as external appearances, conversations and impressions .

Superficiality is often associated with arrogance, which is why superficial people are also associated with the attributes arrogant, conceited and disinterested.

Therefore, we now want to take a closer look at the 3 main characteristics of a superficial person :

Superficial people: characteristics

1. Exteriors

For superficial people, what matters most is what you look like, what you wear, what you own.

They focus on the material things in life and have little interest in the inside of a person.

They also take every opportunity to check their appearance in a mirror or a reflective surface.

They also look at the other person When they meet, they scrutinize you from top to bottom and analyze what clothes the person is wearing and whether they match.

That often makes you seem very arrogant.

< p>They themselves always look top styled and well dressed, which also makes them an eye-catcher and gives them a good chance when looking for a partner.

But their relationships usually don't last, because as soon as the initial physical one Attraction fades and you want to get to know your partner better, you quickly realize that there is not much to talk about with a superficial person.

2. Small talk

Superficial people tend to only talk about trivial things or cover topics only superficially.

You can't talk to them about topics that are profound as they often don't care have it.

They also usually only talk about trivial things, so at first they give the impression of being talkative people who are easy to talk to, but after a chat or two you realize that this is all just is hot air and hardly have any relevant content in their conversations.

A superficial person is a master of small talk.

About the weather or current fashion trends you can talk to him, but global politics is the end of it. There's just no depth to them.

Relationship-wise, they would therefore fit best with like-minded people, although they often come across partners who like to speak critically about topics, but are this relationship always short-lived.

3. The opinion of others

Superficial people attach great importance to what other people think of them.

That explains it to some extent ;en the current self-portrayal mania in social media.

Everyone wants to have the perfect profile picture that gets them as many likes as possible, because that increases our self-esteem.

Whether it's food, travel, activities or parties – everything has to be documented and displayed on social media.

It is particularly important what other people think of us.

Especially superficial people want others to have a positive have an opinion about them and maybe even be a little jealous of their lifestyle.

Nevertheless, with this behavior they often do the opposite and people see their superficiality and avoid close contact with them.


Superficiality = superficial person ?

It happens again and again that a person seems very superficial to us because of their actions.

But only because someone is careful about their appearance and If conversations don't go deep, that doesn't mean that the person is really superficial.

Here we would like to go into two types of people who f’ ;misleadingly referred to as superficial people:

? Narcissists

• shy people


At first glance, superficial people seem like narcissists. But there are some subtleties that make the difference.

Both are appearance buffs and like to look at themselves in the mirror, but shallow people aren't selfish like narcissists.< /p>

Narcissists think of themselves first and always have their own interests in mind.

So if you meet a person who is only concerned with appearances and mostly only talks about themselves, you should be careful because they could be a narcissist.

In another article we wrote about the reasons why a narcissist doesn't last long in a relationship, which you can read here:

5 reasons , why a narcissist doesn't last long in a relationship

Shy people

Shyness is often confused with arrogance or superficiality.

They just need more time to warm up to someone and be able to talk about intimate matters.

You have to take the initiative with such people and get them out of their comfort zone a little.

Unlike superficial people, shy people, once they trust you, will talk a lot about themselves and talk about topics from all over the world. You just have to give the person a chance.

5 signs you're in a superficial relationship

It often takes a few moments to realize it Time that the other person is a superficial person or that you even ended up in a superficial relationship.

There are some signs that indicate that you are in such a relationship.

We would like to present these to you here:

1. Make relationship official

Everything is going great with you both, you meet regularly, you are intimate with each other and keep in touch with each other.

But as soon as you bring up the subject of a relationship, your partner starts to stutter.

Suddenly, statements like ”It’s so nice with us, why should we’; change?”

”This is something just between the two of us” etc. Every time it comes to giving your relationship official status, he blocks it.

You should think twice before being in such a “relationship” want to be, because obviously your partner is afraid of commitment and will probably never bring himself to be officially in a relationship with you.

2. You only have contact when he feels like it

Your partner only contacts you when they feel like it, but if you ever need them, you can't reach them?

This sounds like the start of a toxic relationship and you should get out of there quickly.< /p>

A relationship is about being there for one another, supporting one another and loving one another.

But if your partner is never there for you and you have to beg for their support all the time, it can quickly become a toxic relationship that will leave you feeling the aftermath.

3. He says one thing, does the other

If a relationship is only superficial, then your partner doesn't find it important to be truly honest all the time.

He says one thing to settle a momentary argument, but will never follow through on his promise.

This also has to do with the fact that he doesn’t take your relationship and himself too seriously therefore not trying.

Especially if your partner always prefers everyone and you are only an option for him, you have to be careful.

If you suspect that your partner is only an option, you can find 7 characters here that suggest it.

4. Ego posturing

This is an important indication that the relationship is only superficial.

The partner is trying to show how important they are and how lucky you are to have them by your side with their ego fluff.

They will do everything they can to show that how indispensable he is, but at the same time demonstrating how easy it is to lose him.

He won't be afraid to make it clear that he gets offers from others on a regular basis and you do therefore have to work extra hard to keep him.

In a serious relationship, you don't try to blackmail your partner's love with such threats.

Rather, a lasting relationship is based on mutual trust and respect.

And you won't get very far with such an ego fuss.

5. You only connect physically

You have great sex, but that's it? You hardly talk to each other and really only meet to get intimate with each other?

Well, then you can hardly call this a relationship. It's kind of a casual relationship.

The two of you only connect physically, but you haven't found each other emotionally.

You hardly talk to each other and if you do, it's usually just about one thing and when you'll meet next .

At some point you'll get to the point where you realize that you actually want more from a relationship or from your partner and then you realize that you don't really know your partner and you only know sex together.


On social media, superficial people have found a platform where they can present themselves and find like-minded people.

But many people want a relationship that is deep and apart from any kind of small talk and unimportant superficialities.

First and foremost, you want a partner who understands you and with whom you can talk about anything and everything.

Nobody wants to have a superficial relationship, without feelings, trust and respect.

Therefore, when looking for a partner, it is often difficult to tell at first glance whether our counterpart is a is superficial or not.

Therefore, in this article we have listed and described in more detail the three main characteristics of superficial people.

But not every person who is ;who seems to be superficial is also a superficial person.

Often it can just be a shy person who doesn’t know how to really open up and tries to keep their head above water with small talk.

It is particularly important when looking for a partner or when dating that you try to find interesting aspects of your partner that attract you.

A lot of times, a superficial person can turn out to be a really interesting person who just hasn't had the right opportunity to open up.

Sometimes superficiality can set in too It can be a sign of narcissism and you should be careful there.

A narcissist is always concerned about himself and primarily only thinks of himself.

It can be quickly turn a relationship into a toxic one from which it is difficult to recover.

If you are sometimes unsure whether you are perhaps in a superficial relationship, you can read here which 5 Signs of a superficial relationship.

Above all, don't let someone see you as your priority when you are just an option.

< p>A relationship is about mutual trust, respect and appreciation.

< p>Only in this way can a relationship become a long-term one in which both partners feel loved and valued.

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