Regaining trust – A difficult task, but it can be done this way

Regaining trust - A difficult task, but it's possible like this


Why do I have mine Didn't hear the alarm? Martha asked herself when she felt the sunshine on her face. When she opened her eyes, everything became clear to her in a moment.

This is not her room, this is not her bed. And this young man was her best friend, not her partner.

Suddenly she remembered the last day. She had another argument with her boyfriend.

But she didn't want it to spoil her day. Namely, that night her best friend was celebrating her birthday.

They were in a club, there was a lot of alcohol and there were these cute boys and one of them had shown a clear interest in Martha . Especially this one who is in bed with her now.

Oh my god, what have I done? How will my boyfriend ever believe that it was just a one night stand and that it didn't mean anything to me?


Darling, don't wait for me to have dinner. I have to work longer again, I know; not when I get home … And send.

Andreas has written this message many times over the last few weeks. Yes, different versions of this message.

But all had a similar content. He has to work overtime and his wife shouldn't wait for him.

Actually, he doesn't work anymore. He uses this time to catch up with his old pal.

His wife and pal never liked each other. There was even an ultimatum and he chose his wife.

Or at least that's what he told her. She doesn't need to know that they're still friends. It's not like he's having an affair.


Claudia has a new colleague at work. He is very nice and invited everyone for a drink after work.

Most of them were there for half an hour and then they went home. Claudia and the new colleague are the only ones who stayed.

He was so friendly and such a good listener that Claudia couldn't believe how much she opened up. She told him things that she hadn't even told her best friend. The colleague knew more about her life than her partner.

She complained about her job, about her partner and also about her parents. That conversation was just the first of many they had later.

All of these stories have one thing in common. There was a breach of trust in each story, although they are very different in nature.

Trust is an essential part of any relationship. Without trust, the relationship can hardly be happy. But making mistakes is human.

Has there been a breach of trust in your relationship? Has your partner lost their trust?

Are you wondering how to regain their trust? Just read on for the top tips on how to regain trust.

What can be a breach of trust?

Breach of trust can occur in a number of ways. Here are some of the most common.

1. Cheating

One of the most common reasons people break up is definitely cheating. Whether it's just a one-night stand or a long-term affair, this betrayal of trust can be crucial to the relationship.

2. Emotional affair

For some people, an emotional affair is even worse than cheating. They are forgiving of just meeting the physical needs, but for their partner to have a real connection with someone else is too much for them.

It's a bit hard to define the beginning of an emotional affair. But if you have someone in your life who is more important to you than your partner, then you could say that you are having an emotional affair.

3. lies

Openness and honesty are very important in any relationship. If there is no such thing, then there can be no trust.

Big lies, such as saying that you are still in contact with your ex-partner, are of course a breach of trust.< /p>

But even smaller lies are dangerous, such as not mentioning that you went for a beer on the way home when you said you were working.

Also, spending the shared household money on things for yourself can cause a domino effect and destroy the trust between the couple.

4. Hurting Words

When we're having an argument, we often don't think about what we're actually saying. Intentionally or not, we often hurt our partner.

Because we know them so well, we know what their weaknesses are and sometimes we take advantage of them. That too is a breach of trust. If a dispute turns into verbal violence, that is also a breach of trust.

Regain trust – Is it worth trying?

Regaining trust is not easy. If you want to try it, you have a long way to go.

You have to be absolutely sure that it's worth it. These are the signs that will tell you if you should try to regain your partner's trust.

1. You still love your partner

Yes, love should actually be the most important reason for a relationship.

Even if you made a mistake, even if things weren't always good, if you went through various relationship crises, it's worth for to fight for the relationship and for love.

If you are sure that this is true love and not just infatuation, then you should by no means give up, even if you did something bad and your partner lost trust.

2. You regret it

You realize you made a mistake. You feel bad.

Not only is your partner suffering because of what happened, so are you. You can't even believe you risked your relationship like that.

It's f&auml You even find it difficult to look your partner in the eye. You feel ashamed, you have a bad conscience and you blame yourself.

You're not even trying to defend yourself. You are willing to take full responsibility for what happened. In this case, it is worth trying to regain trust.

3. You're sure you won't repeat it

Yeah, maybe it looked like a good idea at that moment. You might even feel comfortable.

But now that you've seen what it did to your partner, your relationship, and even yourself, you're sure you'd never change your behavior repeat.

After all, your relationship is far more valuable than any fling, any lie, or anything else you did to lose your partner's trust.

4. You would do anything to regain the trust

No matter what your partner asks of you, you are willing to do it. He doesn't even have to ask for it.

You have already prepared a list of what you will do to prove to him that he can trust you again, that you are loyal to him and that trust will never be broken again.

Your partner will know from now on how important he is in your life and that nothing is more important to you than him and your love.

8 tips, how to regain trust

If you are really sure that you want to fight for your relationship and your partner’s trust, then these tips will help you to rebuild the trust between you.

1. Preparation first

The first step is easy. You must realize that trust cannot be rebuilt overnight.

You have a long road ahead of you. But if you still love your partner, if you still believe in your relationship, then this path is worth it.

You should also prepare for the interview. Think about what you want to say to your partner.

Think about your own feelings too. You can also explain this to your partner in this way.

Maybe even try to write down everything you want to say. Concentrate on that so you don't forget anything.

The conversation won't be easy. Your partner may start crying.

There may also be blame. In this moment it can happen that you forget what you actually wanted to say. Therefore, preparation for the interview is very important.

2. Let the partner decide when it's time to talk

Okay, you're ready to talk now, but that doesn't mean it's far from over that your counterpart is also ready. Tell your partner that you want to have a clarifying discussion with them, but they should decide when the time is right.

Don't force him until he's ready. You have to understand what a loss of trust means for him.

He is now lovesick, his feelings are going crazy. Maybe white he himself hasn't decided yet whether he wants to continue with the relationship or not.

The only thing you can do right now is to tell him clearly that you want to talk to him , but willing to wait.

3. Say all the right words

When it finally comes to a conversation, it's important that you really say everything you want to. There are three things to watch out for.

First, you should admit that you broke their trust. Yes, your partner knows it probably is, otherwise you wouldn’t be in this situation, but you should tell him and show that you understand your mistake.

The second is to apologize for what happened. This part should be self-evident, but it isn't always.

Sometimes when the emotions are too strong, you forget the most important part. You don't really say sorry.

The third thing should be your promise that you will never repeat what happened. Only say that if you really mean it. Lying to your partner now can only mean the end of the relationship.

4. Listen carefully

It's good to have a thick skin for this next step. Now that you've had a chance to say whatever you want, it's time to listen.

Now it's time for your partner to say whatever's on their mind. It won't be easy.

There may be blame, reproach, and even verbal abuse. Accept it in this moment and don't try to defend yourself.

Also, don't try to downplay your actions and what happened and convince your partner that it really isn't that bad. The last thing you need is an argument.

5. Answer the tough questions

Your partner will definitely have questions. Now it's time to be 100 percent honest.

Answer all of his questions, even if you think the answer will hurt him even more. Lying to your partner now is a step in the wrong direction.

If you've cheated, be honest with him about whether it was a one-time affair or an affair that lasted a long time.

If you've lied to your partner for a long time, be ready to tell him all the things you lied about and what is actually the truth.

Maybe at a moment it will seem like the situation is only going to get worse, but brutal honesty is important, to build a new basis of trust.

6. Give your partner time

Overcoming breaches of trust isn't easy, you need to know that. Your partner is going through a tough time.

They have to decide whether to leave or stay. Don't create even more pressure by expecting him to take a short time to make a decision.

Even if he decides to stay with you, that doesn't mean that lost trust is already built became. It will take him a while to believe you again. Just be patient.

7. Actions, not words

Okay, you promised not to repeat a breach of trust and you mean it. You also said that you would do anything to regain trust.

Now it's time to prove it. In the near future it will be very important how you behave and what you do.

Much more important than anything you say. Actions speak louder than words.

Even if he doesn't ask you about it. Show him that you have no secrets and that there is nothing to hide.

It's also a good idea to give your partner access to your smartphone, WhatsApp messages and social media profiles to give.

He will probably refuse, but this shows that you are really willing to do anything to restore trust between you.

8. Seek expert advice

Overcoming a breach of trust is not easy. It will probably be one of the biggest challenges in your relationship.

Couples therapy or marriage counseling should definitely be considered in this case. A relationship counselor can show you various exercises to gradually regain trust.

It can also help to identify the causes of dissatisfaction in the relationship in order to understand why the breach of trust actually happened.

Through couples therapy, you both show that you are ready to change your relationship second chance.

Regaining trust: What are the chances?

Yes, I already have it I've said it a few times and I'll repeat it again: regaining trust is not easy! In some cases it is easier than in others.

It mostly depends on how willing your partner is to communicate with you.

1. Your partner is still communicating with you

You're lucky!

If there's still communication between you, whether you're speaking or just talking texting, the chances that your partner will forgive you for betraying their trust and that their trust can be regained are very high.

Just keep communicating. Communication is always the key in any relationship crisis, it shows that you are willing to work on the relationship and it leads to a happy relationship.

2. One-way communication

Your partner is listening to you, but he is not ready to answer you yet. Or you know he reads your messages but he doesn't reply.

Your chances of regaining trust are a little lower, but they're still good. Just give your partner some time now to sort out their feelings.

Keep reaching out to show that you're still there, that you're not giving up, but don't try too hard Putting pressure on your partner.

3. Your partner has blocked you

I won't lie to you, but if your partner has put in place no contact, it will be very difficult to regain trust.

But if you are sure that your ex-partner is your true love, you must not give up. It's even possible to get your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend back.

It's harder, but is there anything we wouldn't do for true love ?


Trust is a matter of course in a healthy relationship. It is an essential part of any happy relationship.

But no one is perfect and it often happens that you make a mistake and lose the trust of your loved one. The consequences of breach of trust can be very serious. It can even lead to a breakup.

Losing trust is easy, but it's hard to regain.

But when you really love someone, when you really realize that you made a mistake and that you don't want to give up the relationship, it is possible to win back the trust of your partner.

It's not easy, but for true love it's worth it .

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