On-off relationship: This is how you stop the game of emotions

On-off relationship: How to stop the emotions playing

On-off relationship is a term that you hear more and more often. At least once in your life, have you ever heard of someone being in an on-off relationship, maybe you were or are still in one.

An on-off relationship is characterized by the fact that there are often separation phases: sometimes you are together, sometimes separated again.

How does such a relationship come about and why are more and more couples getting involved?

That's a good question, which we'll talk about in more detail in this text become.

We will give you an overview of the most common reasons for such on-off relationships and help you to find the right way to the happy ending.

When you talk about relationships, you automatically think of butterflies in your stomach, that cozy feeling that comes over us every day when we see our sweetheart.

Each of us wears rose-colored glasses and everything in life finally has a meaning.

But there is also another side of love relationships that none of us think about and when you then yourself in In such a situation, you feel lost.

We keep asking ourselves a crucial question, why me of all people, why does this kind of thing always happen to me?

This is the dark side of a love relationship. Relationship problems arise, lovesickness becomes part of the daily routine and you ask yourself, is my happy relationship over now?

You don't have to despair right away, because all that is part of life and such problems will show up in every relationship sooner or later.

The most important thing is to know how to deal with such problems, how to get rid of them and get back to a normal and happy relationship can lead?

Because very few know how to behave, the so-called on-off relationships arise.

You are still not sure whether you want a permanent breakup or a new beginning with the same partner ?

Your feelings are riding a rollercoaster, but you still don't want to draw the final line.

Now we're going to get to the bottom of the problem and give a little overview, how the on-off relationships come about.

What are the triggers of an on-off relationship?

Every problem that arises in life must also have a trigger. It's the same with on-off relationships.

In most cases, the triggers are always the same, only the approach differs from couple to couple.

•  Fear of commitment

Fear of commitment is heard more and more often. But is that really true?

Why should anyone be afraid of commitment when humans are made to live in society?

Many studies have shown that in most cases the fear of commitment is just an excuse.

If someone isn't sure about something, they simply say that they are afraid of commitment.

This buys you time, the other person gives you the freedom you need to make up your own mind ;r or against a relationship.

In such situations you come to an on-off relationship: if everything is right in the couple, he does not feel any fear of commitment, but if something goes wrong or he feels certain pressure from his partner, he suddenly becomes afraid of commitment .

When you really love someone you don't want to lose them and you agree to all the back and forth and fall into the pattern of the well-known on-off relationship.

&bull ;  Fear of being alone

Fear of being alone is the most common cause of on-off relationships.

You've been in a steady relationship for a long time, you had a regular everyday life and did almost everything together and from now on it's about to end. Not everyone really gets along with that.

It's easy to get through the first few days because you're still not aware of it, but after a few days you feel the pain of separation and you know, that you can't just get in touch with your ex-partner.

You are alone, no one has time for you and you start looking for old pictures on your smartphone.

The memories flood up, you wonder if it was a mistake to take it yourself break up?

You think about it for a moment and the next minute you contact him via WhatsApp. He answers right away because he misses you too.

You arrange a meeting and once again your feelings are on a roller coaster.

As soon as you saw him from a distance, you wanted to run into his arms, when he came closer you hugged each other automatically.

And there you are again a couple, after just a few days, you see it was a mistake you can't easily undo.

The old relationship problems haven't gone away. st and again you argue about the same things.

You're breaking up again and hoping that this time it will be forever. Let's see.

•  Relationship break

A relationship break is almost the same as an on-off relationship.   You just don't know what to do.

You are not in control of your feelings and want to try everything you can to make the right decision.

< p>When you take a break from a relationship, you turn the relationship off and after a certain amount of time, which you have of course agreed together, you turn it back on.

You can do that won't work in the long run, because once again our feelings are playing tricks on us.

After a long period of separation, it's completely normal to miss your ex-partner and that it automatically becomes a reconciliation will come, which in most cases will not last long.

•  Own needs

It often happens that a person in the relationship puts their own needs before the well-being of the relationship.

You can't tolerate such behavior for long and a fight ensues.

< p>Nevertheless, there is always a glimmer of hope that the ex-partner will change and see what is more important.

After the breakup, you give him another chance that he only will use for a limited time and his selfish behavior will surface again.

The consequence is another separation, which will once again end with a reconciliation. You end up in the cycle of the on-off relationship.

Sometimes you have to be aware of the fact and accept that some people cannot be changed.

Either you take them the way they are or you break up for good. The whole on-off doesn't do anyone any good.

Tips on how to end an on-off relationship

There can be a variety of reasons for being in an on-off relationship, but the most common reason is that you're not straight with your feelings. You want to end it but don't have enough strength to do so.

You keep reminding yourself of the good things in the relationship and forgetting all the bad things.

Here's how most people, so don't feel embarrassed about it.

Emotions keep trying to play games with us and we often fall for it. We can fix it!

Here you will find some useful advice on how to successfully end an on-off relationship and perhaps how to start over with a happy ending.

< p>•  Fear of loss is not allowed

If you really want to break up and make a fresh start, you have to be sure.

If you're afraid of losing, you're still not sure.

You think that you will make a mistake by breaking up and these thoughts will slow you down in your plan.

When you break up, but always at your ex-partner have to think, there will soon be a reconciliation, which once again will not last long.

Such a changeable relationship has its expiry date and the sooner you realize it, the faster you will find your new happiness. Find ck.

•  Contact blocking

That way you won't be tempted to reconcile again.

You should avoid all contact, from WhatsApp messages, phone calls to face-to-face meetings, all of this must stop, total radio silence.

This is the only way you can realize your plan and finally end the relationship.

I know that sounds brutal now, but you have to think of it like this: the end of a relationship is like a plaster that you have to remove very quickly so that you don't feel any major pain. It should be short and sweet!

•  The Con List

Many of us have made various pro and con lists. In this case, it is important that you only make one contra list.

You must write down all your negative thoughts, memories, so that you can always remember them.

When you feel a moment of weakness, feel lonely and abandoned, think about calling your ex, you should take the cons list and remember all the bad.

It's human nature that we rarely think about the bad, preferring to remember the good things that have happened to us.

The Cons list will bring clarity and save you from making another mistake.

•  New beginning

The easiest way to start over is in a new relationship. Since radio silence prevails, you can focus on something new and look for a new partner.

You must not let yourself be diverted from your path. Always remember what your primary goal is and how you can achieve it.

A new relationship will add momentum to your everyday life, you will fall in love again and feel again the butterflies you've been missing for so long.

With the new partner, you won't be tempted to give your old partner another chance.

•  Couples Therapy

It shouldn't surprise you if, even after all the tips and tricks, you still feel the urge to hook up with your ex make up.

This might even be a good sign because it means you still love him and want to do whatever you can to keep the relationship going.

If that's the case, the best thing you can do is couples therapy.

A psychologist will help you save your relationship and the not repeating old mistakes.

The most important thing is that you both want to improve your situation and make an effort too.

If only one of you wants it, it can don't work out.

On-off relationships always lead to reconciliations and then to love-off again. 

Up This is not a condition that one can or should live with for long.

During the separation phases we are very emotional and make our decisions on instinct without thinking about it.

But you should always remember that not being in a relationship is better than being in an on-off relationship all the time, not knowing if it's for love or fear of overcome being alone

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