When one hears loyalty, the first thought is an image of a knight. A knight who fights in a war for his king.
Or one who enters a tournament to win the love of his lady.
It sounds like something classy. Something from the past. Something that is not so easy to find these days.
But is it really like that? Is loyalty something that's been forgotten? Something you only find in old stories?
No, loyalty isn't left behind in the Middle Ages.
Maybe today we don’t fight for our leaders anymore and the tournaments we participate in are online and maybe loyalty has a slightly different meaning today, but it can still be found.
What is loyalty?
Loyalty comes from the French language and in French it is called loyaute.
It means translated not only loyalty, but also fidelity, fairness and also decency.
However, the roots of the word go even further back to the Latin language and come from the word flex, which even means contract, commandment or law.
In its narrowest sense, to be loyal would mean to to stand by someone, to support them.
We have an inner connection, a special relationship with people to whom we are loyal.
Who can we so be loyal? We can be loyal to our friends, we can be loyal to our partner and we can be loyal to our family.
But we can also be loyal to our company or our state.
Today we are dealing with a special kind of loyalty – of loyalty in a relationship.
How do you show loyalty in a relationship?
Having someone by your side who is always there, who never left and to be reckoned with or in short, having someone who is loyal is a wonderful feeling.
If you are wondering how to show your partner that you are loyal to them, I have the answer for you here.
Here you can find out how to show your loyalty ;t show in the relationship.
1. Physical fidelity
If you haven't talked to your partner about wanting an open relationship, it's safe to assume your relationship is monogamous.
It means you are faithful to each other.
You have to be pretty careful here, because everyone has their own definition of what is and isn't an affair.
Harmless flirting may not necessarily be a sign that you are disloyal . But a kiss with someone who is not your partner is already an affair for most people.
For some, even fling in a relationship is okay as long as it's purely for physical needs and no emotions are involved.
It's best to define with your partner what kind of fling is you are having an affair before the relationship becomes serious. When everyone knows where the line is, it's much easier to have loyalty in the relationship.
2. Common values
You probably already had an idea of your life before you met your partner.
You knew what certain values are for you, what is important to you and how your life should look like.
Your partner also had his own ideas. The more similar these two are, the better for you, but it's hard to find someone whose vision is 100% the same as ours.
Therefore, you have to talk about them and find common values and set these as goals.
Loyalty in the relationship sometimes means leaving behind some of your own ideas in order to pursue and achieve common values.
Maybe you never thought that you would leave your home country, but living abroad for a while is important for your partner's career.
Going with him, although it's never in your life plan was means to be a loyal partner.
3. Mutual trust
Trust is very important in a relationship. Love alone without trust is not enough.
If you always think your partner will cheat, if you keep checking them, if you don't think they are honest, then there is no true loyalty in your relationship.
< p>But trust also means much more than just&szz; believing that someone is faithful.
When we trust someone, we have no secrets from them. We are not ashamed of him.
We know that we can show him our weaknesses and that he will still love us.
Trusting someone means standing by them even when times are bad and believing that things will get better. This is how you show loyalty in a relationship.
4. Mutual Respect
Respect is a very important part of a successful relationship.
It's possible to love someone but be disrespectful to them. That's not a good relationship, it's a toxic relationship.
You can show respect by not trying to change the other person. By accepting him as he is.
A common example of how we are disrespectful in a relationship is when we tell someone about our intimate things.
Yes, of course you can too with your girlfriend Talk about the relationship, but if you know that your partner wouldn't like it if he knew everything you tell your girlfriend, you don't respect him.
So don't comment on your intimacy with others if you want to be loyal.
Telling someone you love them is nice, but showing that love is even nicer.
Our partner needs to know how important he is to us, what a big part of our lives he is and how lucky we are to have him.
Yes, with big gestures and with You can show your love with gifts, but also with the little things every day.
Just asking about the day, listening to your partner and not skipping the kiss good morning and good night is sometimes much more important than buying the perfect gift.
Which doesn't mean that you shouldn't bother with the gift 😉
Just pay attention to what is important to your partner and try to spoil him from time to time. This is how you show that there is loyalty in your relationship.
One of the biggest problems with loyalty is that you can be loyal to multiple people at the same time, and sometimes being loyal to one person means being disloyal to someone else.
This is how loyalties conflict. The strongest connections we have in our lives are our relationships with our family, our relationships with our friends and our romantic relationships with our partner.
And precisely because these are so important to us, it can be quite difficult when there are conflicts of loyalty between these relationships.
Loyalty of friendship vs. loyalty of relationship< /h2>
Starting a new relationship changes your life at least a little bit.
Now you also have to find time to spend with your partner. You can't meet up with your friends as often as you used to.
But our partner can also think that we are disloyal if we turn down their invitation to go on a date because we already have dates with our friends.
In such situations, it is sometimes very difficult to find the happy medium . The point where everyone is happy.
You don’t want to neglect old friendships, but you also don’t want to neglect your partner.
But you really should with an honest conversation pretty easy to solve.
The partner should understand that even if we love them, we still need some time out from the relationship.
They should respect that we also want to meet other people.
But the friends must also understand that the partner is the one with whom we share our life and who plays a very important role in our life.
If they love us, they should also love our partner accept and respect.
One possibility would also be to bring your partner into the circle of friends.
Of course, he doesn't have to come along every time you meet friends, but if our friends and our partner get the chance to get to know each other, they will also understand why we care so much about each other.
They too will see the value of that person and have much more tolerance for one another.
Family loyalty vs. relationship loyalty
Another conflict of loyalties can arise between family and partner.
Especially when the partnership becomes serious and when one also has children.
New grandparents often believe that that their education is the best and that they have the answer to every question. Even if nobody asks them about it.
They often interfere in the life of the new family. Yes, they do it for love, but sometimes it can be exhausting.
Here, too, an open discussion is the best solution. It is best for the partners to agree in advance how they want to raise their child.
They can tell each other about their childhood, which was allowed and what not, what customs did you have in the family, not only for the big holidays, but also for the little things in everyday life.
If both partners agree that they like something from the other’s family, this can then also become a custom in their family.
You should also agree in advance how they talk to their families, how they explain to them that they alone will make all the important decisions.
It is best if each partner talks to their parents.
Yes, I know, easier said than done.
We may have already agreed everything, discussed everything, but then our mom comes and suddenly we are children again and say yes to everything .
We believe that our mother knows everything. and at that moment there is disloyalty towards the partner.
In such situations it is very important to be sensitive and to know how to talk to whom.
Just remember that we all have a common goal – a loving family.
Sometimes one will be right, another time another. The most important thing is that nobody gets offended.
Loyalty in a relationship shouldn't be a sacrifice!
A common problem that life coaches face is the misconception that love requires sacrifice.
Yes, of course it's okay to sacrifice a bit. For example, if your partner dyes their hair red because of their favorite soccer team just before a family wedding and you still stand by them and bring them with you, it can be said that it is a sacrifice on your part and that you you're loyal to him.
He's also loyal when he sits and chats with your busy aunt all evening at that same wedding.
He sacrifices himself for you too and your family and he's loyal to you.
You do little things like that in the name of love. But everything must have its limit. Sacrificing your happiness just to stay in the relationship is not a good idea.
If you are in a borderline relationship, have a partner who is too jealous or have even experienced violence in the relationship, you should not remain in such a relationship out of loyalty.
Your inner commitment should be greater than your loyalty to this relationship.
Love and loyalty are two-way streets and have nothing to do with martyrdom. You should only give as much as you get in return.
Yes, of course sometimes one partner goes through a bad time and the other then has to put in a little more effort to help to maintain the relationship.
But if there's always one working on the relationship and the other isn't doing anything, that's not a good relationship.
When you realize that you When you are in such a relationship, the first thing you should learn is how to let go and how to break up.
Your own loyalty to yourself must come first.