Love-hate – A mishmash of feelings

Love-hate - a mishmash of feelings

If you look at the words hate and love, then whiteß each of us that they represent opposites. None of us would use those two terms to describe how we feel about the same person.

Because if you love someone, you can't hate them, can you? Our parents, siblings and teachers taught us that from an early age. But as life progresses, you hear the term love-hate relationship more and more.

Can it really happen that you can love and hate someone at the same time? If we now took a dictionary and looked up the term love-hate relationship, we would get a simple explanation.

Can one have two such different feelings as love-hate explain with the help of a few sentences? Feelings themselves are difficult to describe and that is why most people find it difficult to put their deepest feelings into words.

This is exactly why people strive to validate their feelings through concrete actions. Very few of us would be able to explain love at first sight, because the emotional chaos is too intense.

Anyone can describe the processes that take place in the body , such as palpitations, dizzy spells, tremors, sometimes shame or you can't get a word out.

But if you delve deeper into the topic of love-hate relationships, you quickly realize that the world is full of a kind of love-hate relationship.

The love/hate object does not always have to be the relationship partner, sometimes the love-hate relationship refers to family or friends.

But so that you can understand how two completely different emotional states can be related can mix with each other, we need to get to the bottom of it.

How does a love-hate relationship develop?

Older and more experienced people always have said again that the line between love and hate is quite small.

But is it really true that you can go from love to hate just like that and then back it up just like that?

A lot of people are guided by their feelings, but only them least know that you can't just divide feelings into love and hate.

Sometimes we feel disappointment and automatically associate it with hate, because hate is easier to classify because it is a feeling which we don't like.

In a similar way, it gets confused with love and other positive feelings, when you're happy you automatically associate it with love.

That's exactly why the feeling arises. It's chaotic and we can't exactly assess our feelings.

But the question still lingers as to what triggers a love-hate relationship and whether you can really live with it and have a normal relationship?

As was said at the beginning, a love-hate relationship is not only felt towards the relationship partner, but caution is required when talking about this emotional entanglement.

Some people come with a love-hate relationship difficult to understand and such emotional outbursts can wreak havoc on her private life.

Love-hate relationships or as the younger generation call them love-hate relationships cannot be cured with a visit to the doctor or pills out of the world.

These feelings are deeply rooted within us and it takes a lot of patience to deal with the emotional chaos and to find a concrete solution.

If you don't know what to do, bid give us therapists more information that can help us through the emotional chaos.

What triggers the love-hate relationship?

As with any emotional outburst, there are specific examples of how a love-hate relationship can develop. All of these stories that we are now presenting to you happen to many people in everyday life.

You have probably dealt with some of them.

1. Abuse of trust

One of the main reasons why love-hate relationships arise is due to abuse of trust. There are many different ways one can betray someone's trust.

In love relationships, abuse of trust is usually associated with cheating.

If your long-term partner is cheating on you or after a certain time, you will find out about it yourself or he will confess it to you because he When you can no longer live with the lie, you lose trust.

In that moment you feel hurt, broken inside, sometimes even empty. You automatically associate this emotional chaos with hatred because it stimulates your negative feelings.

You keep asking yourself why your partner did something like that, how could he hurt you without thinking about the consequences?

Slowly you start to question everything. You have zero trust in your partner and you can't even look him in the eye.

Nevertheless, you don’t want to give up everything, you want to give him one more chance to make everything right again can.

It's going to be a rocky road for both of you. For him, because he needs to regain your trust and for you, because you need to trust him again and not doubt him.

In situations like this, it comes to the well-known love-hate relationship, you love him because you are in love with him and you can or could imagine a future with him, but at the moment you also hate him because he betrayed you so much.

Although you try very hard to leave everything behind and only think about your future, the images of cheating alternate before your eyes. You're faltering again, do I love him or do I hate him?

You can't make up your mind.

Losing trust in a person doesn't always have to be about them Act cheating, it can also be harmless lies that make the camel overflow over time.

You will then ask yourself, if you lie to me such harmless things, what happens to the important things? Doubts arise and you feel duped. Once again there is an emotional roller coaster ride.

This is how a love-hate relationship often develops between friends if you betray the same person several times or keep telling them something.

When we develop feelings of love for someone, it's normal to feel betrayed by that person more quickly than by someone we don't love.

That's why it's always better to think about the consequences of an action, because sometimes it can be too late.

2. Emotional Hurts

When we love someone, we find it twice as hard if that person hurts us.

These are emotional hurts , because such mental injuries can always leave deeper scars on the soul than physical injuries can on the skin.

Emotional scars are created when a person, whether it's our partner, parent, sibling, or friend, verbally hurts us.

Sometimes speaking up during an argument happens , which you don't really mean.

In that moment you don't think about the words you say and you don't think about the consequences that the words can have. The spoken word, which can be very hurtful, cannot be taken back.

When a person we love abuses us badly or when your partner says ”I would be better off if I had never met you” or your own siblings ”If only you had never been born” love-hate relationships can develop.

This is not really hate in the truest sense of the word, but such statements can be deeply hurtful and leave behind serious emotional injuries.

We then keep asking ourselves whether the person is really serious or was it just an emotional statement.

In this case, the love-hate relationship arises more from disappointment, because we don't think that of a person we love. We would love to hurt them out of hatred, but we can't do it out of love.

Sometimes it can be a real tear and tear of emotions.

3. Different targets

This point relates primarily to couples in love who have been in a relationship for many years. Arguments often arise because the partners do not have the same goals.

It is not uncommon for the woman or man not even to bring up the subject of marriage, because he or she knows that it is will end in a fight.

You have completely different ideas about your future together, or even better said, you are stalled by your partner.

Frustration develops from such behavior and self-confidence dwindles. You're afraid of just throwing everything away, but you also want concrete answers, which unfortunately you don't get.

And that's how a love-hate relationship develops. You love the person and you only want a future together, yet you hate them because you feel that you are being put off on purpose.

Such relationships are among the toxic relationships that should be ended as soon as possible. You've been standing in the same spot for years and you're not making any progress.

This uncertainty can be destructive, but you're caught between two chairs, love and hate.

You believe remembers that love can conquer all obstacles, but hate still drags us down, mainly because we know that we will never reach our goal.

We want to force a person to feels the same as we do and unfortunately that's not possible.

You can't force the desire to live together, everyone has to recognize and feel that for themselves. Only then is it true love.

4. Jealousy

The feeling of jealousy only develops in a relationship when your partner achieves all of their goals and you are still groping in the same place.

It can be anything between siblings. In most cases you feel neglected because of your youngest sister or brother.

Before, all the attention was on you, and now that the baby is born, you've come second.

You have to take care of the baby, do everything to make it feels good and this leads to a kind of love-hate relationship.

It doesn't get any better later, especially if your siblings are more successful, more beautiful or more popular. Envy just comes out and you can't suppress it.

If you feel that kind of jealousy as a toddler, you don't have to worry. The problem only arises when you experience it the same way as an adult.

In such a case, the love-hate relationship can grow into actual hate between siblings.

In In such a case, family talks won't help, you need professional help so that you can deal with your self-doubt and become a self-confident person.

Love-hate relationships between siblings can take on great proportions, which you must counteract immediately.

What can you do about love-hate relationships?

There are a few tips that can help you with the problem love-hate relationship will help. The most important thing is that you recognize yourself that you are suffering from a love-hate relationship and that it is slowly gaining the upper hand in your life.

You must not let your feelings control you, you are the ruler of your feelings and you must always remember that.

1. Recognize the reason

In order to confront your love-hate relationship, you must find the trigger. The reason why you feel so torn.

Whatever the reason, you have to look the problem in the eye. Even if it's a little thing that triggers negative feelings in you, you have to get rid of it.

You must not give in just because the trigger is, for example, someone in your family, especially not then. If this is someone you deal with every day, you need to end this mental anguish as soon as possible.

Sometimes you need a break from everything. Take as much time as you need.

Collect your thoughts, sometimes it helps to write them down so that you don't forget anything and everything is transparent in front of your eyes.

Once you have written everything down, you need to move on to the next step.

2. Confrontation

The trigger has been found, it is a person from your life. You keep getting hurt. If you want to end this, you need to start the conversation. Communication is the key to any happy relationship.

If the person loves you the way you love them, they will understand your fears and concerns. Talk openly about your emotional state and you must find a solution together.

It is important that the solution suits both sides, that you play with open cards.

This is your only way to stabilize your emotional chaos and that's exactly why you shouldn't mince your words. An open conversation never hurt anyone.

If it doesn't end well and your partner blocks, at least you know you weren't on the same wavelength emotionally. So you can take it as a lesson, an episode in your life.

3. Professional Help

If you have followed both steps and are still unable to control your emotions, you should seek professional help.

A couples therapist or a psychologist can help you get to the bottom of your emotional chaos.

Sometimes you need a third person who has an objective opinion and who draws our attention to the mistakes of others, but also to our own.

After the sessions you will receive concrete tips on how to deal with yours You can deal with the love-hate relationship.

You can also do couples therapy so that you can work specifically with the trigger of the love-hate relationship and overcome the whole emotional confusion more easily.

It is completely normal to turn to an expert when you don't know what to do yourself. This opens up new perspectives that you would never have discovered yourself.

It is only important that you have a common goal that you can work towards. This will be the first step towards improvement, all you have to do is embrace the change.

Love-hate is a tangle of feelings that is difficult to break out of. Relationships that are constantly suffering from love-hate relationships and are victims of it again and again do not have a bright future.

It just shows that you don't trust each other and that you never really trust your partner can leave. One is always in doubt as to whether the relationship is really what one has longed for one's whole life.

Once you have planted a seed of doubt, you must prepare yourself for it to be all life will bear fruit. In such a case, it is best to end such an affair and seek happiness elsewhere.

You must always remember that love-hate relationships do not always have to have serious consequences. Sometimes it's just an emotional chaos that's hard to deal with.

It's feelings of disappointment and dissatisfaction that make us think it's hate.

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Fortunately, we still have love that gives us some hope and enough strength to carry on.

 

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