In our 20's and 30's we are programmed to strive for success and build careers.
At this age we are often so busy with education, trying different new things and just enjoying life that most of the time we don't think about having children and planning a family.
All we care about is having fun and to take advantage of the opportunities that life offers us.
However, we are socially dictated that after completing education and living a well-ordered life, we move on to the next step and our own Start a family.
If life were that easy…
Anyway, time goes by, birthdays go by and you start thinking about starting a family ;nd.
Both partners with good jobs, two children with a house in the countryside – a typical ideal image of a happy family.
Most people dream of one day meeting the ideal partner with whom they will achieve all this.
Someone for ;is ready to start a family in her twenties, while for some the desire to have children comes later.
Although today more and more women are opting for late motherhood, there are still some fears of missing out due to the imposed common belief that we need to realize ourselves as parents in the 30's.< /p>
And then: last minute panic. The biological clock is ticking and the perfect partner is not even in sight.
Years pass and it seems that the wish to have children will never come true.
But what exactly is last minute panic?
Last minute panic is actually the fear of missing something. This is mostly used as a term for women who fear that they will not find a suitable partner for reasons of age or that they will not be able to fulfill their desire to have children.
It can It affects both men and women and is often equated with mid-life crisis, but is a bit more complex.
Read on and learn all about it!
Where does the term come from Last minute panic?
The phrase last minute panic once had nothing to do with marriage, starting a family and finding a partner for life. It was more just a human need to get home on time.
In the Middle Ages, cities were surrounded by great walls to protect them from enemies. As darkness fell, the city gates closed – the so-called gate closure.
And those who did not arrive on time had to spend the night outside the city walls, which was certainly not pleasant because it was cold and there were thieves, robbers and animals lurking around.
Es It is understandable why exactly this term has become a synonym for people who have not yet entered the port of marriage at a certain age.
The fear of stopping in front of closed gates, ä ;similar to the fear of standing at the gates of life and watching everyone have a safe home while being alone.
Why does panic leave?
A successful career, a wonderful husband and lovely children – an ideal life plan and realization of all life goals.
Anyone who does not fulfill this feels like an outsider and feels the enormous pressure of the environment.
There is no ideal moment to start a family and have children and there will never be a time when all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle in life are put together to finally say: now is the right time to become a parent. Unfortunately not.
Sometimes you focus too much on your career and don't realize that the best years of your life were spent striving for success.
Sometimes you find an ideal person for you Yourself with whom you share the same desires and goals, but the relationship falls apart for various reasons.
It may be that the partner’s desires and goals change over the years so that the person who said they wanted children suddenly doesn’t want them anymore.
It happens that a partner puts off having children for years because they don't really want them.
However, life has strange paths and none of us can determine the moment when we will do anything in life, nor can we. n we can be sure of our future.
It is certainly understandable why last minute panics occur. The ticking of the biological clock is inevitable for all of us.
While there is nothing wrong with becoming a parent at a later age, late pregnancy does come with some risks to reckon with.
The biggest mistake you make when you realize that life is going by quickly and you haven't realized your dream of having children is that you desperately throw yourself into the search for a partner, are satisfied with less when choosing a partner and ending up with someone you don't love at all.
You stay in toxic relationships that have long had no future just to avoid being alone and to create an illusion of a fulfilling family life , but deep down, unfortunately, one remains unhappy and unfulfilled.
But what is the right strategy to deal with last minute panic? Can it be overcome without rushing headlong into conjugal union or a toxic partnership?
The following are tips on how best to deal with this fear.
What is the right way to deal with last minute panic?
1. Think about what you really want
Before fear takes hold of you, it is important that you think carefully about what you really want from your life want. Not your parents or friends or partner, just you!
Can you imagine getting married one day? Can you imagine sharing your life with someone?
Can you imagine having children? Does the thought of motherhood warm your heart or make your hair stand on end?
The most important thing is to put your desires and plans first. For example, if you have been in a long-term relationship where you want children and your partner doesn't want the same thing, it would be best to break up.
No matter how much you love him. Maybe you don't want to break up for fear of being left alone, but consider whether it's worth staying in a relationship where you have to give up your dreams?
A healthy portion Selfishness helps you to overcome last minute panic. Because if you put yourself first, you will know what it is you really want and on that basis you can determine what the next step is that you need to take.
2. Don't let your surroundings influence you
The main reason for creating last minute panic is precisely the environment with questions and the sympathetic gaze that comes with it: How come you're still single until?
My cousin is single too, you should meet. How come your sister is already married and you are not? And so on and so on.
The pressures of the environment can keep us sneaking indoors and away from people for days while we contemplate what is wrong with us and how it comes about that everyone is taken but us are single forever.
Don't let this drive you crazy. People will always meddle in anything that doesn't concern them. You just have to know how best to use it.
Don't let the pressure of the environment affect you. You know best how you want to live your life and you certainly don't want to live your life according to the expectations of your parents or any aunt or uncle.
Just say you don't want to discuss this topic anymore. As rude as it may sound. Everyone has the right to live their life the way they want.
3. The right approach to dating
Thanks to the last minute panic, you are ready to do what you would never do.
So people give up love, settle for less, look for a partner in anyone just to not be alone.
Your fear can be felt and this can have a very negative effect affect your dating.
Precisely because of the last minute panic, it could seem as if you are desperately looking for the future father of your children.
Some women talk about Marriage and starting a family on the first date, which of course scares and rejects most men.
While it's important to be with someone who has the same views on the future, this is a complete no-go during the dating phase.
Relax. Meet men, date them and enter into relationships only when you feel like he could be your dream man and not when your biological clock tells you it's time to have kids have.
4. Enjoy your single life
Why is the opinion necessarily imposed that someone who is single cannot live their life to the full potential?
Isn't it better to be single than in a toxic relationship where your partner belittles you , cheating and lying to?
In a relationship where you feel unloved? Isn't it better to be single and wait for the right one to turn up and change the way you live your life?
Being single has many advantages. There's time to work on yourself, build your confidence, grow in other areas of your life, and do things you can't do when you have family to take care of.
So enjoy your single existence. Travel, spend money on yourself, get massages, beauty treatments, meet new people, try new things – just enjoy your life to the fullest!
Once you accept that single life is not a wasted life and stop fretting about being alone while everyone around you is in relationships, you will see your attitude towards life change changes.
And best of all, when you stop looking for something, it just comes to you and so does love.
5. Be patient!
Your girlfriend is expecting her second child while you're still single?
Every year you receive an invitation to a wedding while you and your boyfriend haven't talked about it yet ?
For this reason, you should not put pressure on yourself and your potential partner, because true values are worth the time and patience.
< p>Let the time do its thing and don't rush anything, because it's never too late to make your dreams come true.
Conclusion:Last minute panic occurs at certain years of life when you realize that time is passing and you haven't yet realized family life.
The last minute panic affects women the most because after the age of 30 their biological clock is ticking louder and louder and pressure exerts on women to have children as soon as possible.
Last minute panic, however, is a natural thing and not only for starting a family but also for many other things in life. One should not worry too much about it because of this.
It is important that you know yourself, your wants and needs. Don't settle for less just to meet other people's expectations and desires.
What matters is what you feel and want. Follow your gut and be patient because anything valuable doesn't come overnight.
Good luck! ❤< /p>