When we love someone, I think it's easy to close our eyes to the aspects that we don't like or the aspects that we know aren't perfect – the parts that aren't to our liking of what we believe they are.
It's easy to say to yourself, “He was just having a bad day”, “It was my fault”, “I was wrong” .
Because it's easier, isn't it? To punish ourselves for classifying their bad behavior as our own.
It's easier to be wrong than to accept that the one person meant to protect, love and cherish us is the one tearing us apart.
But lovely Mä ;girl, it's not your fault, none of this.
See, just because he doesn't hit you doesn't mean it's not is abusive behavior.
If he doesn't listen when you try to talk to him about something that hurts you or makes you uncomfortable, then it is abuse.
When he tells you that the behavior you've seen between him and other women is "all in your head" is that you ”imagined it” that you ”So insecure and jealous” if you can't trust him, it's abuse.
When every argument you've ever had is your fault, when you're wondering if you're really crazy, when you actually have deep issues and need therapy, when you keep coming back to faith, that you caused the argument and you are the reason your relationship is falling apart, you are being emotionally abused.
Because not all bruises are physical, but they are hurts just as much.
So please listen when I tell you that it's perfectly fine to get upset if he doesn't respect you and your relationship.
< p>It is fair to confront him if you feel he is acting inappropriately around other women.
You have the right to speak up if you do Feel like you're not getting the same out of your relationship that you're putting in.
You can get upset if he likes other girls' half-naked photos. You can ask him about the girl who texts him all the time.
You are allowed to talk about the things that make you insecure, jealous or overwhelmed.
It doesn't make you crazy or irrational or overly emotional.
It doesn't mean you have ”serious problems” or an inability to trust.
It just means that you are human, that you have feelings, that you have experiences, which means that sometimes you feel afraid ; sometimes you worry about losing someone, sometimes you don't feel good enough.
But that doesn't mean it's true. That doesn't mean you should be silenced.
Because when someone loves you, they love you completely. They love the parts of you that are afraid, the parts of you that ask questions and worry and feel anxious.
They listen to you when you need to talk things through, when you need clarification and reassurance and love.
They give you the opportunity to speak, to feel free, to feel heard.
They always make sure their behavior never crosses the line; they always act to make you feel loved, safe and wanted.
They are always ready to listen, understand and support. They always give exactly the same amount as you.
Because it takes two to have a relationship, because it's about giving and taking, about listening and talking.
And everyone A relationship in which one person blocks another when they bring up an issue that is a little sensitive is not a loving one.
A relationship in which one is constantly being ignored, neglected and small is not a respectful relationship.
A relationship where a person is always afraid to open their mouth, to ask for more, to ask for better, for what she deserves isn't actually a relationship at all.
It's emotional abuse.