Annemarie met Josef through a common hobby. He was the handsomest man there and since he was also a bit older than her, she was completely surprised when he showed interest in her.
She wanted to jump around with delight when he saw her invited on the first date. The date was pleasant and time passed very quickly and they had arranged a second date.
It didn't take too long before they were officially in a relationship, either. She was the happiest woman in the world. She beamed with joy. Everyone thought they were the perfect couple.
But his perfect behavior didn't last long and he quickly started making strange comments:
• Who did you dress up for so nicely? Even though she was with him.
• Why are you smiling at the waiter like that, do you like him? Although she was just being nice and polite.
• Who is this guy who commented on your profile picture, he must want something from you. Although it was her cousin.
• Why do you want to spend the evening with your girlfriends? Don't you like it better with me? Although she was always with him and has already neglected her friends.
In the beginning she didn't thought too much about it. She even thought it was a little cute. is how he behaves.
Such a mature and attractive man thinks that others are also interested in her. He's afraid he'll lose her. He must be madly in love with her.
She would always find an excuse for him. She also found excuses for herself.
Yes of course I have to change my life now that I am in a relationship now. Yes, for love you have to sacrifice yourself a bit. My partner should be more important to me than other people.
And bit by bit she gave up her life. She hardly saw her friends anymore.
She stopped going to her favorite clubs and concerts that she used to enjoy. Without Josef she would hardly leave the house.
And the worst part was – She wasn't even happy!
She wasn't enjoying the relationship anymore. Hardly a day would go by without her crying. She gained weight too.
She didn't love herself anymore and thought that she was actually lucky that he still loves her, that he still wants her the way she is now.
Luckily he can I say that she is much better today. She had experienced a moment of clarity.
Fortunately, she realized that her partner's behavior was no longer sweet. was, but rather morbid jealousy.
She has realized that her self-love is much more important than the relationship. And she found the strength to break up.
Today she understands that she even suffered from depression and experienced gaslighting in the relationship.
The only thing that her regret is that she didn't realize sooner that his jealousy is pathological. That way she could have broken up with him sooner and avoided a lot of pain.
My partner is a jealous man – Clear Signs of Morbid Jealousy
Yes, jealousy is human nature. We don’t always want to share all the things we have with someone else and especially not the love of our partner.
Yes, there are people for whom an open relationship is not a problem. They have multiple partners and are okay with their partner having multiple partners.
However, most people feel jealous when they think that their partner might like someone else. That's only human.
But there's a big difference between a healthy dose of jealousy and between intense jealousy, which you could even say is pathological jealousy.
Are you sure where the line is? What is acceptable and what is not? Here are the signs you can use to identify pathological jealousy.
1. He controls who you communicate with
Every time your smartphone flashes, whether it's a text or someone calling you, it's trying to see who it is. He also often asks who you're texting when he sees you texting.
You might even have caught him trying to snoop on your smartphone or laptop .
He also follows your social media channels a little too carefully. He knows the exact number of your friends and followers.
He sees every time a man likes you or comments on something and he asks you who that man is.
These are all signs that you have an overly jealous partner.
2. He wants to choose your clothes
Has your jealous friend ever tried to control how you dress? Did he perhaps say that your skirt is too short or your décolleté too deep?
Jealous men even try to fake their jealousy as a compliment: Oh darling, you look so good in that dress.
I can't take this, all eyes will be on you. You have to give the other women a chance too.
What he's actually thinking is: I don’t want other men to find you attractive, you belong just me.
Of course, the length of your dress has nothing to do with your attractiveness. A pretty woman is always pretty no matter what she wears.
But no one should decide for you what to wear and what not to wear. Not even your lover.
3. He decides who you are friends with
A common trait of jealous men is that they don't believe that a woman and a man can be friends ;n.
In his opinion, every man in your life wants some kind of romantic relationship with you. If not a serious affair, then at least an affair.
A jealous boyfriend doesn't want you to hang out with your buddies. He even tries to stop you.
Some even go so far as to bother your girlfriends too.
Especially those who are single. He thinks that once you see what a good life they have, how they enjoy being single, you'll want to break up with him.
And he also believes that your single girlfriends are always surrounded by worshipers and they will also find you interesting and try to break up with him.
4. He always wants to know where you are and who you are with
Yes, telling your partner about your plans for the day is something very normal. Also the question How was your day, what did you do?
Sharing the little things from the day is part of the relationship.
But for a jealous friend, that's not enough. He wants to know where and with whom you are at every moment. Google knows less than your jealous boyfriend.
He's constantly calling you to check where you are or texting you. Even if you answer him, he doesn't believe you. He might even ask for a selfie to prove where you are and who you are with.
It's an even bigger problem if you don't answer the phone when he calls or if you don't answer his message right away. Then he texts you 20 messages or calls you 10 times in a row.
The blame game starts right away. He's sure you're cheating on him if you don't get in touch.
5. Everywhere he sees a flirt
Anytime you're just being friendly or polite, your partner will think you're flirting. Everything you do is flirting for him. A smile and a thank you to the waiter or the clerk is already too much for him.
If you talk about a male acquaintance, believe he same, you are interested in him. Every time you have a conversation with a man, he wants to know what the topic was and if you like the man.
All this is a sign that your partner is too jealous.
6. outbursts of anger
Maybe you didn't notice his jealousy at first because he was trying to play it down. Little comments every now and then, followed by a smile, you didn't take it seriously.
Hmm, another worshipper, when you talk to a man, you as Humor understood.
Maybe he was trying to hide it as a compliment. He would say that you are too beautiful that other women will be jealous.
But over time, his jealousy intensifies. His comments were suddenly replaced by an outburst of anger instead of a smile.
The next moment he begs you to forgive him. And he says it's all because he loves you.
Jealous men sometimes have a hard time controlling their emotions. But you should never blame yourself for losing control.
Anger outbursts just at the thought of cheating are a clear sign of pathological jealousy.
Why is my partner a jealous man? – Possible causes and consequences
You're probably wondering why your partner is so jealous when you've really never given them a motive. You have never done anything that could question your loyalty.
The first and most important thing is to understand that it has nothing to do with you. His jealousy is his problem.
You may be the trigger, but you are not the cause or the cause of such behavior. It's his own fault.
There are three common reasons why men are so pathologically jealous. The most common cause is that he has experienced a betrayal himself.
Maybe he has had bad experiences in previous relationships. Maybe he has an ex-girlfriend who was having an affair.
He was hurt and he doesn’t want to experience it again so he tries to avoid another scam at all costs.
The second cause may be his own self-esteem. He's just not sure of himself. He doubts and doesn't believe he's good enough.
He doesn't see his own worth and doesn't understand why you love him. He's always afraid you'll see how worthless he is and find another partner.
The third common cause is that he's afraid of losing. He just doesn't want to be alone. Some people are afraid of being single.
They think that their partner is responsible for their happiness. They believe that they are nothing without their partner.
The worst thing about this situation is that although you are not the cause of his behavior, you feel the consequences.
If you try to prove your love and loyalty to him by following his rules and obeying him over and over again so he doesn't doubt you.
You may end up limiting yourself; dont feel. It can happen that you change so much that you no longer recognize yourself. Such a situation can even lead to depression.
You may also become jealous yourself because of his jealousy. You begin to see that there is danger in your relationship anywhere.
You could say he is manipulating you to see life and your relationship from his perspective. This is definitely not a healthy relationship, bordering on gaslighting.
My partner is a jealous man – What can I do?
Once you realize your partner is pathologically jealous, you should act as soon as possible to combat that jealousy. Don't let it rule your entire life.
The best thing to do at the first sign of pathological jealousy is to seek dialogue. Talk to him.
Explain to him why his behavior is a problem for you. Try to find the cause of his jealousy with him. If you can't manage it on your own, you can also try couples therapy.
When he realizes that he himself is the problem in the relationship, that his jealousy is too strong and he is ready , then give him another chance.
Maybe he really didn't know how you felt and that his behavior was wrong.
But if he did insisting that you are the one causing problems in this relationship, that your behavior is not okay, that you keep flirting, that you are not loyal to him, then it's time to say goodbye to him.
Such a man does not deserve you!