I'm not going to be the one to tell you it's wrong to stay with a sex addict and try to solve the problems.
I'm not going to try to open your eyes and show you what you're missing while he's fooling you.
I won't because you already know that – just as i knew when i lived with a man like that.
I just want to tell you my story so you can see that you are not alone and things can get better no matter how you feel right now.
They have to – if it's important to you, of course.
I was married to a sex addict and every day of my life with him I felt like I wasn't enough.
No matter how many things I tried to please him, it was never enough.
He was always looking for new ways to have fun. to have.
His computer was full of hardcore porn, dating sites and some dirty messages he exchanged with women who share his sex drive.
And the worst part was that I knew about it, but I thought it was just a phase and it would change.
I thought he would change for me and our kids.
But he never did. He needed to watch porn, even flirt with women in front of me and whenever he had time to masturbate.
All of these things filled him with dopamine and that's why he felt better.
Maybe it was his way of shrugging off the stress and looking past his low self-esteem.
But he couldn't even choose to make an effort.
He was doing all of this just to masturbate and was thinking of me in my second.
For him, I was just a body he could have when he got horny.
I was there to fill his sickly needs so that he could regain power.
And no matter how hard I tried, I could never leave him.
I stayed at first because I thought it wasn't serious and he would change, but he didn't.
He said that he needs sex as much as he needs air to breathe.
And every time he said that, he broke my heart because I wasn't the woman who could meet all his needs .
He didn't care if he hurt me or broke my heart.
He wanted me to do things I didn’t want to talk about, but all of it was extremely painful for me.
Once I told him I didn't want to do that. He told me that if I didn't give him what he needed, he would look elsewhere.
I felt awful, like I wasn't good enough and worthless.< /p>
Then I realized that love only makes sense if you don't feel awful.
When you fall in love is, you do everything to make your partner happy.
You don't hurt her and ask her to act like a slut to satisfy your sick needs.
When you're in love you don't fuck hard you make love.
< p>Because lovemaking is full of feelings that make you feel special, and getting fucked doesn't have that.
Look, you can have sex with anyone, but you can only make love with a lover . And that makes a huge difference.
Too bad love wasn't the priority for my ex.
He just wanted to get in the box to feel better.
He hasn't made up his mind – he hit on other girls while i sat in front of him; and looked at him and asked why he was doing this to me.
And every time I wanted to be heard, he manipulated me by saying it was all in my head and that he loved me .
And again I fell into his web of lies and thought I was overreacting.
So I kept my shitty life with a terrible husband who couldn't keep his cock in his pants.
He was seriously addicted to sex but he never wanted to admit it.
And all my talks with him about getting help were in vain because he didn't want to get rid of the most important part of his life.
All the signs of his infidelity were obvious, but somehow I wanted them not see.
Maybe they can help you leave in time and avoid the pain I experienced.
1. He hid his phone
Anytime I wanted to take his phone to check the time or something, he would run from the other end of the house to to tell me the answer myself.
He was very sensitive when I touched his personal belongings.
2. He was never logged into his accounts
We shared a PC. All my accounts were free but he would always log out even if he just went to the bathroom.
I can only imagine what dirty things he had there.
3. He couldn’t explain where the money went
We spent more money than usual, but we didn’t have everything we needed.
< p>And every time I asked him about the money, he said he had spent it but I don't remember where and I shouldn't do that.
4. He masturbated constantly He tried to cuddle with him with a blessed smile on his face and he started jerking off next to me again.
5. He lied all the time
Whenever he told me he was somewhere, I knew he was probably lying and in bed with another woman.
He came home smelling of alcohol and cheap women's perfume and so drunk and smelly he wanted to have sex with me.
6. He always wanted to be dominant in bed
I have to admit that he was a really handsome man, but that wasn't enough.
He always had to be the Being dominant because that's what turned him on.
His sex madness and even stronger sex drive made him a sex addict and he couldn't help it.
< h2>7. He flirted with everyone
I could never date him and feel good about myself.
He ruined every date, every meeting with friends.
He hit on my best friend when I wasn't around and pretty much every other woman around him.
8. He was manipulative
The worst thing he did to me was he tried to convince me that I was overreacting and that it was all in my head.
I wasn't crazy. I knew what I saw. I knew him better than anyone and could tell when he was lying.
9. He let feeling uncomfortable in bed
Whenever I slept with him, it was like a competition.
I couldn't enjoy it, but he made me feel like I had to make an effort to make him feel good.
Whenever it was over I felt like shit because of his ugly comments – it echoed in my head that I had to do better and that's why I lost my self-esteem.
10. He always treated me with distrust
He was the one who cheated me, who couldn't get rid of his addiction, but he blamed me for everything.
< p>Just because in his ‘sex world’ he thought I was cheating on him and had many men besides him in my life.
And no matter what I said, he didn't take it and kept torturing me, telling me I was a slut and not a good example for our children.
He wanted to put all the blame on me and never mind, what i said i was never right.
These are just some of the things my ex did to me and the rest i try to forget.
His bad behavior towards me made me lose my mind. Losing my self-esteem and asking myself if I'm good enough and will ever attract a man who really loves and respects me.
Even though we're not together anymore, he still has an impact on me .
Every time I meet a new man, I try to find signs that he is also a sex addict.
And that's why every new relationship ends before it even starts.
I always think that I should have done something to escape him sooner.
Yes, that's easy to say. In reality, it takes a lot of courage to do it – to leave him, especially if you are financially dependent on him.
On the other hand, I also wanted to spare my children the ridicule of their father being portrayed in this way.
I know; simply that I put up with his crap for too long, but I finally decided to get away from him and stop living in hell.
Well, after many years, I have mine Found self respect and my old self.
Now I can see that he was the problem and I didn't mean to see that.
I even defended him for some reason.< /p>
Maybe it was easier for me to deny my problems than to confront them.
But I did it and it was the best decision of my life.
< p>Now I'm a happy woman and he's the same piece of shit.
Some things never seem to change!