It happened to me, so I know what I'm talking about. I want to share my extremely painful experience.
I want to open my heart and make myself completely vulnerable in front of you.
I do so in the hope that my story will help others break out of the hell they're going through, just as I broke out of mine.
It took me a long time to understand what a monster I was married to – it lasted 4 years. 4 years of tears, 4 years of crippling pain, 4 years of believing it's all my fault.
After all this time, I'm not the same. He took the part of me that made me who I am. He stole it from me and turned me into something I didn't want to be. Something he wanted me to be. Something he could control – a doll dressed as a woman.
He was an infinite bastard. A heartless asshole. He didn't care about a single soul in this world but himself.
He didn't care about his family or friends. In fact, he didn't even have any friends.
And he robbed me of mine too. It was so calculating, it was so sneaky and I didn't see through it.
I couldn't just walk away like that. Even when I began to understand what he was doing to me, I couldn't just leave.
It's not as easy as it seems. I know that sometimes people judge women who are being abused because they are still clinging to their abusers.
These abused women even defend their abusers and find excuses for them. Well, it's easy to just take on the role of an observer and judge these women.
But experiencing that scenario and waking up every morning with an anxious stomach and disappointment clearly written all over your face is something else entirely.
These women are afraid to leave Because they've gotten used to the bad treatment they're getting. They haven't known anything better.
It's insanely weird because they have at least some kind of security to some degree, even if it means living with a perpetrator.
These toxic men know how to trick them into believing that he really cares about them.
They know how to give you enough attention to make you stay. And when they do, they turn into toxic sociopaths, their true selves, and the cycle continues.
That's why you can't leave. He always gives you hope that he will change.
The only thing these women know is abuse.When someone yells at you every day and gets abusive, it becomes your natural environment.
After a while, those harsh, loud insults don't hurt you as much.
You don't mind his threats and violent behavior as much anymore. I mean you mind, but you swallow it all. You don't tremble in front of him anymore, but you go through hell inside.
He gives you a dose of himself and you're hooked.It's like you're addicted to drugs. He made you try a few times and now you can't stop.
You always need more and more and he always gives you something you think you need, something, from that you think you can't live without.
When a drug addict sobers up, they realize what they've done to themselves. He realizes how much damage he has done to his soul and body, and he realizes how stupid he was to the point he couldn't get enough.
Now it's either give up drugs or die. The same applies to you. Leave him or die inside.
When your gut tells you something is wrong and you feel trapped, when your real self starts to fade or when you have disappeared completely you are being emotionally abused.
All the things I have written are true, but most women who experience it cannot accept it or are afraid of it.
If you are still too scared to take the step to "abstinence" to leave the sociopath who keeps feeding you poison, remember …
Love shouldn't be like this. Love isn't supposed to yell at you because you're having a bad day.
Love isn't meant to emotionally blackmail you. Love isn't meant to make you feel lesser.
Love is not meant to break you.
But these men are anything but love. They scream, they yell and they are disrespectful.
These men cannot love. They know how to pretend to love you.
They use their crooked powers of manipulation to drive you insane and keep you completely in the dark as to what is happening.
< p>They have the power to control you, but only until you wake up from the nightmare they created and realize you deserve and want better than you do now.
Ö ;open your eyes to save yourself. Realize what he's doing to you and run for your life, just like me.
1. He drives you insane and makes you feel like a lunatic
It's his favorite tactic, something he does best. He makes you believe things that aren't true.
Even if you don't believe him at first and confront him about it, he will have such convincing and vivid excuses and this discussion will go on for days.
He will pretend it's not a big one Matter. Even if you caught him texting another woman who is clearly his mistress, he'll make you believe it's not true.
At first you will insist that he explain the situation to you, but after a while, if you keep hearing the same excuses, you will start to doubt yourself.
You will even telling yourself that it's all in your head, that you're taking things too far.
That was his plan all along. To make you believe that you are the crazy one and that he has never done anything wrong.
2. He makes you believe it's all your fault
He makes you feel totally guilty. He makes you believe that you are responsible for literally everything – for his mistakes and yours. After all, he's perfect and there's no way he could go wrong.
You're the incompetent, submissive, last on the list.
This is how he emotionally blackmails you. If he's having trouble in his life, he'll blame you by saying you don't love him or that you don't give him enough of your time and that's why he failed.
Not because he's incompetent, but because you didn't try hard enough.
3. He's a control freak
He's obsessed with control. That's why he isolated you from the rest of the world.
He doesn’t want you to communicate with anyone other than him so he can feed you his toxic thoughts and violent behavior .
So you think there's nothing better for you than what he gives you.
He knows also that he can't keep your attention. After falling for him, you knowß he that he has to do something to make you stay.
To achieve this he managed to control every possible situation so that there are no surprises. It makes you feel like a prisoner.
4. He is an absolute hypocrite
In the beginning he will be perfect. He will move mountains for you and you for him.
But after some time he will change and get worse.
He will cheat, he will lie and he will manipulate you. He'll treat you like you're last on his list of priorities because you really are.
And the funny thing is, you're supposed to stay perfect and spotless. You must watch your behavior and be careful not to hurt him in any way while he treats you like dirt.
5. The world revolves around him
He needs to be the center of attention and your whole world needs to revolve around him.
When you do something, that has nothing to do with him, he gets insanely jealous and makes you feel bad for your ”mistake” bü&rszlig;en.
In fact, he has no identity of his own. He needs you to boost his ego and feed him your approval, which on closer inspection is pretty sad.
6. He doesn't respect your boundaries
Again, this is because he doesn't respect you enough to care.
We all have limits, everyone has their own line when something becomes too much for us. There are things we tolerate and things we despise.
Well, he doesn't respect that. He believes he has the right to set your boundaries for you.
And even if you stand your ground and let him know when enough is enough, he won't respect it.
He will push those boundaries every time he feels like it because he it doesn't matter what you need or think.
7. He's the perfect liar
He was born that way. Pretty much everything he says is a lie. He lies so perfectly that you would never doubt him and he is consistent.
He never gets caught up in the lies he invents. Even if you catch him lying, he will remain calm and collected.
And he will maneuver himself out of this situation by lying too.
8. He will slowly consume you
He will use you and he will drain your energy. And that will take as long as he needs.
Even if you are exhausted and have nothing left, he will leave you alone for a while to regain your strength and then he will come back and continue to feast on you.
He will infect you with his toxicity and keep you from seeing how capable, strong and beautiful you are.
His main goal is to reassure you that you you're nothing without him.
And to achieve that, he plays all sorts of emotional mind games just to reassure you that he's all you can ever have.
If he tried to keep you in any other way, he would be alone forever.
9. You struggle with anxiety and don't know why
You're anxious and you have no idea why. Well, because your whole relationship is fake. He's fake.
It's because you don't feel good about your relationship and you feel like he's being baselessly disrespectful and mean.
You think everything is your fault and you blame yourself for making you do it.
You think you are worth less and you actually start to believe that that you're lucky to have any kind of relationship at all.
You're worried because you overanalyze the simplest things, you just can't see it yet.
10. He is extremely rude to people he is not interested in
He was only nice to you and he only worried to impress you.
He doesn't care about other people and is never nice to anyone. On the contrary, he is extremely rude and unpleasant.
That's because he doesn't need anything from these people, so he doesn't hide his true colors and treats them like dirt.
If he really needs someone's help, he uses his full charm and of course gets what he wants.
After that you're just a face in the crowd for him – totally irrelevant and non-existent.