It may start with a joke . It may become more common over time, but one thing is for sure: when you meet a man like this, you will have no idea who he really is.
You will have no idea that he masqueraded as presents someone else entirely.
Like the beginning of any abusive relationship, you'll think you've finally found the right one.
You'll think you've finally made sure and feel loved.
That's exactly what they do to you. This is how they sneak up on you.
They pretend to be loving and compassionate to gain your trust, to get you to let go and into their ”safe” arms to fall.
After grabbing you like a predator, they can do whatever they want to you.
There are all kinds of abuse in relationships, and I have written about each one.
They are all painful and excruciating, especially the emotional ones. But verbal abuse was never really talked about.
Verbal abuse goes unnoticed because, like narcissism and other personality disorders, it leaves no evidence on the victim.
There are no bruises; no scars You can leave the house seconds after you've been verbally or emotionally abused.
You can smile and no one will have any idea what you've just been through.
< p>No one will have any idea that you are barely holding yourself together.
No one sees the heartache behind your eyes and the emotional exhaustion you are feeling completely overwhelmed.
Why is he insulting you?
You've probably blamed yourself hundreds of times and you thought you heard; You caused it because you provoked him. This is BS, and deep down you know it.
You were just afraid to accept the fact that your nice guy, your real man, turned out to be an abuser.
Abusers have feelings, believe it or not, but the only ones Way to show it is through anger and disappointment.
Usually they are probably hurt or sad and venting their anger on the next person is the only way to do it with their own deal with uncertainties.
The lesser and smaller you feel, the better he feels.
He needs to put someone down to make himself feel better and stronger.
He needs to be in control of you because he has no control over anything else.
He insults you to make you feel like a piece of shit to boost your self-esteem. to destroy your health and in this way turn you into a woman who thinks she is incapable of making her own decisions and who is easy to control.
This is a process that takes time to progress. That was his plan all along.
From the first day he met you, he wanted to slowly sneak into your life so that he could make himself comfortable and safe to suck out your energy.
That's how he did it. This is how he turned from a real man into an abuser.
1. He made you think twice before you say it
You just knew that if you said something wrong, something he didn't like, he would freak out.
You knew he would overreact and you would. ssted what that would mean for you.
It meant you'd get your dose of insults and abuse.
So you're always around him well thought out what to say and what to keep to yourself.
It really all depended on how he was feeling that day.
If you could tell he was in a good mood you would probably find a way to give him something so painless as possible to say, but if he was upset and grumpy, you would definitely keep it to yourself.
2. He insulted you
That's self-explanatory. In short, no one has the right to abuse you – not your family, not your friends and not your boyfriend.
No matter how angry he is and no matter how crappy his day was, he needs to deal with it.
Even if something you said or did provoked him, he can't respond by he calls you stupid, a slut or God knows what you've heard so far.
3. He contradicted you the whole time
Whenever you felt positive and happy, when you were excited about something and wanted to share your happiness with him, he immediately contradicted you.
It means that he didn't respect you enough to make you happy.
Maybe he was jealous when you felt great because he didn't and because he never loved you , he tried to hurt you by bringing you down and destroying your happiness.
4. He shut you up
He never valued your opinion, nor did he care about it.
He didn't want to hear anything you had to say, and if you said it anyway, you would he'll laugh and make fun of you because he obviously thought you were stupid.
He kept telling you that you're wrong and that he's always right; That he knows everything and you have no idea.
And if you were offended by that, he would call you too sensitive and immature.
5. He twisted your words
When you had enough and couldn't take his abuse anymore, you tried to confront him by calling him an abuser.
Then he lost his temper and went completely insane.
Then he would take it all out on you because deep down he knew it was the truth and it usually hurt him.
Turns out this was a big fight where you ended up being the bad guy.
It wasn't about him being an abuser anymore, just something that you said or did months ago.
He carefully remembered your words because his memory is so immaculate.
He would always remember exactly what had happened in the past and he would use it against you in situations like this.
He took the words out of your mouth and twisted them in his own favor.
6. He got condescending
He pretended you were a baby and didn't understand anything.
He got you put you down and disrespected you in this way.
He did this to pretend to be someone better and make you feel inferior to him.
He intentionally used a condescending tone and chose words meant to hurt you, only to boost his ego and crush yours.
7. He created your insecurities
When he had nothing left, he used the oldest trick in the world.
When all other tactics fail would, he would play that one dirty card.
He would try to use you against yourself. He was trying to play with your mind to make you hate yourself.
He intentionally brought out all the things that make you most sensitive and he used them against you.
This was done to make you feel meaningless and ugly, to make you wonder what your purpose in this life is and why you are even alive.
8. He justified his bad behavior
He lived in total denial. He didn't want to admit that he's nothing more than a bitch; a leech who is unhappy and frustrated; someone who drains other people's energies for sustenance.
If he succeeded, it would put him off for a while. He would forget how unhappy he really is and he would enjoy the energy he took from you.
When that was over, he came back and did the same thing again.
No, that's not a real man. This is an abuser pretending to be something you were looking for.