It clicked for us from day one.
One look into your eyes and you made me feel so good. Filled my heart with so much peace and serenity that I was finally home.
I fell in love with you so much without even taking the time to think about it.
I guess I've been single for so long that I forgot what it felt like to be taken and I really missed that feeling.
It I missed the warmth of a strong male hug.
I missed having someone call me theirs.
Someone I felt a natural connection with and could talk to for hours without thinking about what I was going to say next.
I thought for a second : “That's it. “This is what I have been waiting for my whole life.
”I have finally found someone I can imagine my eternity with.”
All the walls that surrounded my heart, all the guards protecting the gate that led to it, allowed you to get inside without really looking if you deserve to be there.< /p>
I just chose to believe you. I trusted you.
I trusted you more than myself.
That's why I I silenced that little voice in my head telling me to be careful.
I ignored all the warning signs that flashed before my eyes and pushed it all to the past.
I thought that all the emotional baggage and trust issues I had from my past relationships made me doubt you.
I kept lying to myself that everything was fine, when actually it wasn't.
I kept fooling myself until you revealed your true colors.
It was time to face the truth. I couldn't block out the things I saw.
I couldn't ignore all the painful things you said.
I couldn't pretend wä ;you are the best while you were one of the worst.
I am so disappointed right now. Disappointed in both of us.
From you for proving to be just like everyone else and from me for allowing you to get so close despite all the warning signs.
I guess ;love, my hopes were higher than all the shit you did to me.
I kept hoping that you would get better with time.
I wanted it so badly that I kept insisting on staying in something that was far from a healthy or loving relationship.
I couldn’t have been more wrong about you. You never changed, you just got worse over time.
And I partly blame myself for that.
I hear’ should have left sooner. I shouldn't have followed my heart and put my mind on the back burner.
It made me forget what I deserved, and I have settled for less.
This is something I promised myself a long time ago that I would never do.
But here I am, I've done it again.
However, I think I've learned my lesson this time.
I'm tired of people trampling on my heart.< /p>
I'm tired of this constant brokenness in my life. I'm exhausted.
But I know I'll get through this. I'll patch up my heart and glue and hold it tight.
But I hope I never have to do it again after that.
I don't want to repeat the same old scenario over and over again.
I'm tired of it For acting so strong and tough all the time while I'm falling apart inside.
I'm tired of hiding all the tears behind my smile.
< p>I'm fed up with fake love, lousy people and false promises. I can't stand them anymore.
That's why I'll never settle for less than I deserve.
That's why I'll keep my eyes wide open for the next one Someone wants to come into my heart.
Next time, this time, every time, I will love myself more.
I'll glue my heart differently, I'll build the walls higher and put some extra guardians at the gates of my heart and until someone worth the risk comes, no one else will get in ;name.