I don't need your promises, I need continuity

I don't need your promises, I need continuity

Your words may not be lies and maybe you really mean what you say.

Maybe like You might want to keep your promises, but I'm sorry I can't trust you that easily. I've had my life experiences that don't allow me to be naïve.

I've been lied to too many times before. 

My confidence has been rocked so many times before. I've believed too many wrong people. 

I've always ended up being played out or broken, even when I had the best of intentions. That's why I don't need your empty words, I need continuity.

I stopped believing what other people said. 

You are what you do, not what you say you will do. Therefore, when someone promises me something, I receive it with a dose of doubt.

I don't take it to heart. I'm doing this to protect my broken heart.

That way, I can rejoice when people keep their promises.

If not, at least I won't be disappointed because I wasn't looking forward to anything to begin with.

I stopped trusting people so easily. 

You may be good, but you may also be toxic. And I'm not willing to put my heart on the line.

I don’t want to welcome people just because they’re good and nice  works. That was my old self and it's been hurt too many times before. 

My old self was too naive and just trusted people. Now that life has taught me so many lessons, I've gotten smarter.

So you're going to have to prove to me that you're good before I let you into my heart.

I've been hurt before.

I used to have no trouble pulling myself together and moving on.

But unfortunately I've been broken too many times and I'm not as strong as I used to be. I don't deal well with toxic people anymore. 

Now more than ever I doubt myself. I keep thinking that there is something I'm doing wrong.

There must be something I'm doing wrong that's compelling people to treat me this badly. 

It has to be me, right?

I'm not strong enough to allow another toxic person to take advantage of my good qualities.

Even if you're not bad I can't risk it because I'm not sure I'll be able to get back on my feet this time if you end up being like the others too and if that's the case you will break me too. 

I wouldn’t be able to convince myself  that it wasn't my fault. I couldn’t tell myself that I wasn’t the one putting people down.

I couldn’t tell myself that people are the way they are and that it really isn’t my fault.

It is my job to protect my heart. If you're worth it, you'll prove it to me. 

You'll show me that I can trust you. You will prove yourself good in time.

I won't have to risk my sanity with you. And if you're actually a good guy, you'll understand. 

You will try to put yourself in my shoes and understand why I am the way I am.

Ask me whatever you want and I will tell you. But don't expect me to trust you just because you are.

If you ask me to trust you, you'll see doubt in my eyes. 

It won't be easy to shake off this doubt as I continue to have the past by my side.

I continued to store the memories of people who took advantage of me, lied to me, and tricked me somewhere in the back of my mind.

And while you may not deserve it, all these doubts come at me like a wave, reminding me not to trust you.

You believe me wouldn't love not to be broken? You think I want to be so hard on you? I just can't help it. 

We can work on it and while it won't be easy, if you try hard enough, if you prove to me that you're good, I promise it will be worth it.

Don't be like those I used to let into my life before you came. Don't just talk – show me. 

Prove to me that you are worthy of my love and trust. Show me that I can count on you.

Prove to me that you're going nowhere and that you won't leave me broken.

I need continuity. I need to see a pattern of your effort, your love, your kindness and your caring. 

You can convince me to trust you, but not by words, never by words again .

I don't need apologies or other promises that next time things will be different. It would kill me.

Don't tell me you're different, show me.

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