You spend a lot of time together and everything goes perfectly from the first moment. You can hardly keep your hands off each other and you are madly in love.
You can't get the smile off your face and you are over the moon for the first time in a long time , or -; in other words – in seventh heaven.
You soon start planning your future together, but over the past few weeks you've noticed that he's withdrawing and it seems like he needs more space.
It doesn't matter he's your friend or you're still getting to know each other, it's a shit feeling and you're probably wondering what you did wrong. The answer is: nothing!
While I'm not a relationship coach, before I give you the possible reasons for his behavior and some advice, I want you to know that men in general are more afraid of commitment and take it these kinds of changes in their lives very clearly.
Women, on the other hand, tend to take a new acquaintance as something serious much earlier than men.
The fact is that men feel ready for a serious relationship later and it can put them under pressure when they realize that a woman wants them too much and sends out appropriate signals.
< p>If that's not enough for you and you want to know more about the male world, stay tuned!
Here you will find the most common reasons for his withdrawal and 6 small hints how to get his interest back.
Why is he withdrawing?
1. Withdrawal is a natural process in dating
If he suddenly withdraws, it can have several reasons. A psychologist explains that the man’s distancing phase is a natural process in dating.
She claims that a certain withdrawal marks the beginning of an important phase in the process of getting to know two people.
If he withdraws or doesn't get in touch during the first phase of getting to know you, it doesn't necessarily mean it has anything to do with you.
It may be that he is just taking the time to consider whether he will neglect his family, friends or hobbies because of the new acquaintance and to decide whether he is ready to embark on a long-term partnership now.
2. He has a personal problem
Maybe he has some personal problems at the moment that he doesn't want to share with you so as not to burden you.
Also, guys don’t like to talk about their problems because they don’t want to come across as a wimp and he wants to show that he can take care of his own life.
Women find it easier to speak up and seek advice or help. But men, on the other hand, close themselves off and want to solve the problem themselves.
He may be having a professional or family crisis and he finds it difficult to talk about it, especially if the two of you have only known each other for a short time. When men are stressed, they tend not to speak up.
Because he wants to present himself in the best light and although the problems preoccupy him a lot, he gives his tails; Che reluctantly so as not to appear unattractive and just withdraw seems easier to him.
3. He knows not what he wants!
He is unsure of his feelings and he knows; not what he wants.
It may also be that he is withdrawing because he believes that the two of you are not for each other and he is not ready to be in a committed relationship yet.
Or maybe he is Feelings he can't handle and may be afraid to fall in love and commit to the relationship.
Actually, men don’t like to deal with feelings and it’s easier for him to just walk away than to be open about his feelings and make a decision.
4. It's going too fast for him
Women want some security in life and that's why they contemplate and plan for the future, while men prefer to live in the present .
Be careful not to scare him off by talking about your future together that you have already planned.
If you signal him that you are ready for more, he may get cold feet.
Maybe he wants the same thing but pulls back because he has developed feelings . As strange as it sounds, it can be.
Just enjoy your time together and be patient!
5. He wants to stay single
He likes you so much, but he's not exactly looking for a partner.
Actually, he's just looking for someone to have fun with. and unfortunately for him you are just an affair.
Therefore, cutting contact and retreating are the best options to deal with the situation and not admit that he wants to enjoy his freedom to the fullest.
6. He's hurt
Perhaps one of the reasons he's withdrawing is that you accidentally hurt him and aren't aware of it.
As said before, men don’t like to talk about problems and feelings and in this way he wants to show you that something is wrong and that you should react.
7. He has lost interest.
Unfortunately, if he withdraws, he may have lost interest in you and his infatuation is slowly fading away.
The attraction between you may have been lost or he may realize that you are not compatible.
He doesn’t want to talk about it to avoid hurting your feelings, so instead of having an honest conversation with you, he prefers to withdraw.
8. He has another
Even though it will hurt, you have to be willing to consider that possibility. If he distances himself from you, there may be another woman in his life.
If he is only interested in another woman or is already in love with another woman, he instinctively avoids you because he is afraid of hurting your feelings and wants to avoid the conflict.
< p>6 tips for you when he retires
1. No stress!
If you think he's withdrawn because there are things he doesn't want to talk about, don't try to get him to that he talks about it.
The more you pressure him, the more nervous he will be and he will withdraw more and more. This is how your relationship problems get bigger and bigger.
You certainly don't want that. Although you want to share his concerns and feel left out, keep calm and don't stress him or yourself.
Because he may just want to clear his head and solve his problems himself .
Trust him and give him time, because he knows; determines what is best for him at the moment. Show him that he doesn't have to talk to you about it if he doesn't want to.
If you don't pressure him, he'll start talking about his problems all by himself.
If he's willing to share his problems with you, just be there for him as his support, but until then, keep calm!
2. Reconsider your attitude!
You should reconsider your attitude and free yourself from the fear of loss.
If you're still getting to know each other and you notice that he's retiring a few weeks later, it may just be a return to his everyday routine.
The newly in love one Phase is always the most interesting: you only have eyes for each other and you want to spend every minute alone, but in time he may be able to devote himself to other things, such as his friends or his career.
Or if you are in a relationship and he just wants to have a beer with his friends or watch a soccer game in peace, for example, and you feel like he is excluding you and therefore put him down; rfe.
This is what's called the proximity-distance problem and it can cause an imbalance in a relationship and the result is that he just pulls away.
If that's the case, you might feel kind of forgotten, but think about it if you're just imagining it and just try to observe your relationship neutrally from the outside to get a clear idea. what the relationship should look like.
3. Give him space!
The most important thing is that you don't chase him, as this will only increase his retreat.
You should give him space because his withdrawal phase can have various reasons that don't concern you at all. That's why you shouldn't interfere, because he also has his right to freedom.
4. Do something for yourself!
You can use this opportunity to focus on yourself. Try to do something for yourself, go shopping, get a new dress, go to the hairdresser, find a new hobby, start a new sport or plan a trip.
You will find out for yourself feel better and it can also help take your mind off him.
Also show him that you are not upset about his behavior and make him a little jealous by giving him the cold shoulder.
It would also be good if you talk to him for a few hours or more (for example, ignore his WhatsApp message or just quickly write: I'm going out with my girlfriends.) so that he knows that you have a full life and don't need it.
This way you can also awaken his hunting instinct and if he is interested in you, he will realize that he misses you and will come back to you.
5. Be there for him!
On the other hand, there may also be moments when he needs you and you should be there for him.
Maybe he has decided to talk about his problems or maybe he just needs a hug.
Keep reminding yourself that his emotional absence has nothing to do with you and that the time he takes for himself is his right.
You can give him your help, offer your comfort or advice but without putting pressure on him.
Just let him know that he has a friend in you and sooner or later he will come to you to solve his problems to share with you.
6. Just ask him!
Patience is one of the most important things in a relationship, but if he's been pulling away from you for too long and you've reached the point where you've had enough and lost patience, just ask him what it's about.< /p>
Because only when you know the reason for his behavior can you act properly.
It would be best to ask him for a private conversation in a quiet moment and to make it clear that you understand his current phase and his withdrawal.
But it's also important to let him know that you've waited long enough and need a response from him.
If a distancing period lasts too long, you may drift too far apart and if you realizes that his withdrawal will be dangerous for the relationship, ask him to explain what is causing him concern or problems.
Even if you give him can't help, or he doesn't want you to help him, it's your right to know where you stand with him.
It may be that his withdrawal was a sign that he wanted out of the relationship.
If you feel like he has someone else or wants to break up, but doesn't dare to talk to you about it because he's afraid of hurting your feelings, just confront him about it!
Confront him directly about your suspicions, even if it's an uncomfortable one situation.
He can tell you things you might not want to hear, but it's better for you to know, even if it hurts.
But if you might have hurt him and that's why he backed off, reach out to him too.
Try to find out what you did to hurt him and apologize to him and make it right.
< em>Another tip: Avoid these 6 mistakes
If you don’t want him to stray even further from you and you might lose it completely, then you should definitely avoid these mistakes:
1. Keep calling him.
2. Put pressure on him.
3. Blackmail him.
4. Give him an ultimatum.
5. Run after him.
6. Ignore him through.
Either way, it's important that you get things done before heartbreak hits you.
Open your eyes, look ahead, and be yourself faithful, because you deserve a partner who is not running away from you, but treats you with respect!