You look at your smartphone every second, hoping that you will see a notification from him. However, nothing happens.
You even set the volume and vibration to maximum so you can hear when he answers. But nothing happens.
You try to call him and send messages via WhatsApp just to check if everything is ok. But you still don't get any feedback from him…
You start lying to yourself and make excuses for him. This is how a frustrating phase begins for you, filled with uncertainty, helplessness and the recurring questions: Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong?
Hours finally turn into days. One day quickly becomes two, then three… And boom – you are in a vicious circle. All the time you just think about him and ask yourself: Why doesn't he contact me anymore?
It's not easy to break out of this vicious circle again. But don't worry. You don't have to go through this alone. I can help you with that.
See this article for potential reasons why he has stopped contacting you. You will also find out what you can do in such a situation with the help of valuable tips.
Why isn't he calling anymore?
He's busy, he lost his smartphone, his fish died, he doesn't like you anymore… There are so many different explanations for men breaking off contact all at once.
We have brought you a list of the most common reasons for this behavior put together so you can understand what the heck is happening.
1. The chemistry between you is not right
After the first date, there may be a lack of chemistry between two people and he doesn't want to give you false hope.
Sure, it would be nice if he revealed the facts to you like that would as they are. However, many men are afraid to speak the truth.
If he hasn't reached out after the first date, don't take it personally. You two just aren't made for each other. Move on girl.
2. He doesn't like you
If you already felt on the second date that he didn't like you, then you should realize that it's better , when he doesn't answer.
Maybe that's hard to take. However, the sooner you realize this, the better for both of you.
3. He's going too fast
Some people are very open about their feelings and show all their cards right at the beginning. Believe it or not, that's what scares men sometimes. Then they either try to defuse the situation a little, or they flee.
So if you scared him with your feelings, then you can be glad that he no longer cares reports. You really deserve something better or a dream man who appreciates your personality.
4. He has no time
Okay, nobody can claim that they don’t have enough time to get in touch with their partner or to reply to a short message.
However, we have to look at the matter from two angles:
If he doesn't call for a few hours, you can assume he really isn't available. He may be stressed because he is busy at work, spending time with his family or friends, etc. Just wait and be patient.
But if he hasn't gotten in touch for a long time – not even with a short „Good night” message – and says he doesn’t have time, that’s a bad sign for your relationship.
5. He's playing double games
Whether you're just getting to know each other or in a serious relationship – this option is also possible. Of course we always hope for the best first and think he would never start dating other women.
But that's the way it is! This problem is especially to be expected when dating online.
If it turns out that another woman is involved and he's trying to double-track, you know what to do!< /p>
6. He is afraid of commitment
Many men (and women) develop a certain fear of commitment because of negative experiences with relationships from the past. For some it is a little milder, for others it is very intense.
Maybe that's why he still hasn't contacted you. However, everything is correct and fair from your side, because you have nothing to do with his past.
7. He plays cat and mouse
Some men don't want to come forward because they expect the women to make the first move. This is how they test “if you are just like everyone else”.
They also use this tactic to see how dependent or needy the potential girlfriend is.
If you realize you've run into a man like this, avoid prefer contact with him. His behavior is clearly a sign of immaturity.
8. He hates texting
You have to understand that there are people who really don't believe in texting and see it as a waste of time.
Find out what he thinks about it in a conversation with him. He may not be ignoring you at all, he just doesn't like staring at his phone all day.
You'll see the difference between this situation and when he actually ignores you, detect.
9. He doesn’t want you to feel restricted
Since men value their freedom very much, it is important for some of them that their better half also feels free. Because of this, he doesn’t bombard you with messages all the time.
Whether it really is this “problem” is, you can easily check. Invite him for a coffee or just call him and ask him.
Should that really be the reason for his behavior, he will get back to you without any problems and explain everything logically to you .
Childish, deviant, immature, disgusting – we could describe the modern phenomenon of ghosting for five days and still not say everything about it.
A man who suddenly disappears, no longer speaks and you out his life is not worth a second of your precious time. Again, don't blame yourself.
This is an immature person who is afraid to connect with you, your feelings, reactions, etc. to keep busy.
If you're already looking for a partner, you're looking for a Mr. Right and not a coward. Not true? 😉
11. The ex is back
Really now? The ex??
Yes, a past love can also be the reason why he does not get in touch. He may still have feelings for her and may have used you to make her jealous.
Or she is the one who has noticed that he has made a new acquaintance and does not want to let go of him. In both cases it actually has nothing to do with you.
If you notice that something is still going on with his ex-partner, you should let him go. It is difficult to build a healthy and strong relationship on such a foundation.
PS: To be clear, this list will primarily help you understand the reasons why he is ignoring you and plan your next move accordingly. So we're not making excuses for his immature behavior.
Is he interested even if he doesn't answer?
It doesn't necessarily mean that he has no interest in you if he doesn't get in touch with you. But you have to analyze the situation and consider why he is not contacting you and how long it has been since he sent his last message.
Sometimes he will give you mixed signals, which is not necessarily a bad sign for you.
However, a clumsy execution of his flirting strategy can be problematic for both of you. Maybe the poor guy is very interested in you, but doesn't manage to show you his feelings properly.
If he sometimes contacts you every day, then only after two days and then again so after five days, he may like you and try to control the situation.
How white? me if he likes me?
He asks you how your day was and how you feel. He compliments you. He wants to know everything about your likes or dreams. He responds to your questions and tells you about his day.
He doesn't want to get you into bed as quickly as possible and doesn't make you feel like you are in the morning either are unwanted.
These are all signs that he really likes you. If that's how he usually behaves, no wonder you're confused by the sudden silence.
How long to wait when he doesn't answer?
As a general rule, he shouldn't keep you waiting. But if you really want to give him a chance, give him a maximum of three days.
Do not send him any messages during these three days. You don't comment or like his pictures on social media, don't call or ask mutual friends how he's doing.
After this little break, we recommend that you confront him directly with the question of whether he is really interested in you.
His reaction will tell you whether it is time for the next date or for saying goodbye to him.
What do I write to him if he doesn't get in touch?
It's best that you ask him openly what's going on. In this message, make sure to say what you think about the situation with a positive attitude. Avoid insinuations, guilt or accusations, because you might not get an answer at all.
I have prepared a few sample texts for you, depending on what phase you two are in right now.< /p>
• Getting to know each other
Hey X, I just wanted to check if you're okay. Since you haven't got in touch in days, I have a feeling something is wrong.
? After the first date
Hey X, I'm wondering why you haven't been in touch anymore. If you are not interested in meeting me again, just tell me directly.
• In a long term relationship
Hey X, I know; don’t know whats wrong with you and would like to talk to you about it. I wonder if I offended or hurt you. We need to talk about this urgently.
Your next steps
You are an amazing woman and you deserve a happy relationship. Of course it's hard to just let go. That's why we have some tips for you that will help you on this way.
1. Cut off contact
You wrote to him and he still doesn't get back to you? Now he doesn't have to either.
Why should you spend every precious second waiting for his text or call? Don't text him any more.
This man just doesn't deserve you. From that moment on, you're the one who shouldn't be interested in him anymore.
2. Don't let it get you down
It's very ugly to get rejected, especially when you don't know why. In such situations, many people begin to look for the problem within themselves and to come up with an excuse for the other person.
But you must not allow that! In any case, you should not let your thoughts run free in this direction. Don't try to understand if you said or did something wrong. The problem lies solely in the person who suddenly plays dead.
Cheer up and remember how precious you are.
3. Don't turn off your feelings
If this is your first time in this situation, we can imagine that you are very hurt.
Waiting days for an answer leaves you feeling helpless, lost and hurt. But don't turn off those feelings. You can't bury them inside yourself or they'll come back to the surface one day.
Even a confident woman like you can be sad and angry and cry her heart out . At the same time, this is incredibly important. Only then will you be able to heal your broken heart in the long term.
4. Take time for yourself
It's time to find your way back to yourself. Focus on the things you love and try to enjoy every day. Spend time with your family, friends.
Don't waste another minute on the on-off relationship because you really deserve better and you know it.
You had a very good time with him, thought that something could come of it and then it happened – he doesn't answer anymore!
It's really hard to understand why these things happen and why there are people who deliberately cause such situations.
It's important not to cover your head and not to blame yourself for it. You can still make the most of it and learn something from it.
The most important lesson is: don't waste your time on someone who isn't worth it. You'll find the right one who really deserves you.