When we fall in love we are so optimistic. We see life through rose-colored glasses and we believe that everything is possible.
We believe that our love is infinite and that it can conquer all problems.
Everything our partner does is so cute. and irresistible.
We always have time for our partner, we never say no to whatever he asks.
We are ready to do anything for him and to do for the relationship.
But when the first infatuation passes and everyday life takes over, we realize that not everything is so perfect.
The first fight and the first relationship problems are probably not that serious, but over time they will become bigger and more significant.
We need more and more time to solve them. In addition, our love life is not as active as it was at the beginning.
We then ask ourselves whether this love is really the right, the true love. Outside influences don't help either.
We all know that perfect couple who have been married for ten years and still watch each other fall in love and not can be without each other for more than a few hours.
We also see these photos everywhere on Instagram with the hashtag #couplegoals.
In these photos there is always a couple in similar clothes, traveling around the world or playing sports together or they cook together …
You know these photos. At the same time, we're sitting on the couch with our partner in our pajamas, which aren't even the same, arguing about what to watch on Netflix.
At this moment we wonder if this relationship still makes sense? What should we do now? Go or stay?
Are you also going through a relationship crisis? Wondering if staying together is even worth it?
Or is it time to break up?
If so, then you've come to the right place. Today I have for you signs that will help you make the right decision and advice on how to go through with that decision.
Go or Stay: 6 Signs You Should Go
Yes, sometimes it just doesn't work. Not every relationship is forever. Few are fortunate enough to find the right partner in their first partner.
Here is a list of red flags that indicate the answer to the ”should be do I go or stay?” should be going sooner.
1. Breach of Trust
Next to love, trust is the most important thing in a relationship to work well.
Two people who love each other but don't trust each other can't be happy.
If you keep asking yourself where your partner is, what he's doing, who he's with, whether you can believe him, if he's lying to us, etc., it can't be a healthy relationship.
That's why it's also a sign that it's time to call it quits.
It is important to note that not just fling means a breach of trust. Any lies or secrets between partners also mean a breach of trust.
Trusting other people more, telling them your intimacy behind your partner's back is also a breach of trust.
2. No good moments
There is hardly a relationship without arguments or a relationship crisis from time to time.
But if there are not only moments when the situation is bad, if there are always problems and there is no calm between them, then it is very difficult to continue with the relationship.
If you don't remember If you can tell when you were last happy in your relationship, that's definitely a red flag.
Maybe you're seeing some problems from the past that you closed your eyes to back then.
And now, when those old problems keep coming back and new ones keep popping up, you can't take it anymore. In such a situation it might be better to leave.
3. Only you make an effort
It's common to see these relationships where one partner really does everything in their power to keep the relationship going.
The other, on the other hand, does nothing at all or makes it even more difficult for the other to maintain the relationship.
If after every argument you're the one looking for a reconciliation, if you're the one who answers first after every radio silence, if you're the only one who always compromises and your partner doesn't do anything about it, then it's time to leave this relationship and move on.
4. Any form of violence
If there is violence in your relationship, then you shouldn't even think about it. Go or stay shouldn't even be a question – walking is the right solution in this case.
It is very important to note that violence is not just physical violence. Verbal violence is also a reason to end a relationship.
Do you know how to recognize verbal violence?
When verbal abuse and humiliation are a part of everyday life Your partner’s communication towards you and if he/she uses every opportunity to humiliate you, this is called verbal violence.
You shouldn't even allow such violence. This form of violence can also have very serious consequences for the victim.
5. Toxic Relationship
A relationship where you feel like you're being manipulated and where you can't be yourself is a toxic relationship.
Signs of a toxic relationship can include pathological jealousy or emotional dependency.
Also, if your partner is an alcoholic or has any type of addiction, that can also be a toxic relationship.
Not only is he harming himself, he is harming you and your relationship too.
Staying with such a partner is not proof of your love. You alone cannot help him.
You cannot save him without his will. He has to find his own way and only then you two can have a happy relationship.
6. No more love
One of the most important reasons for ending or continuing a relationship is that you no longer love your partner.
When you realize that your feelings for your partner just feel Once you have changed that love is gone, you should both stop lying to each other and break up.
Staying in a relationship simply out of habit or guilt brings results you out of luck.
Staying in a relationship because of the fear of loss is also not a good reason to stay in the relationship.
The only reason to start and stay in a relationship at all should be the love for the Be a partner.
Leave, but how?
If you've made the decision that it's time to end the relationship and move on, you should now take the next step.
You should tell your partner.
If some form of violence is the reason why you want to leave your partner, then you don't have to explain anything to them and you should leave as soon as possible.
But if another reason the the bottom line was why you want to end your relationship, then you should remain respectful and end the relationship as neutrally as possible.
Choose a good time where you know that too your partner has enough time to have a conversation.
Explain to him all the reasons that led you to this decision and also give him the opportunity to give his opinion.
If you two live together, you can also nö beforehand ;make preparations such as finding a place to live for a while in case you are the one who should leave.
Also, if your partner should leave the apartment but you are the one who draws the line, you could sleep away for a few days to give them time to pack up and accept the end.
For more tips on breaking up, click here.
Go or stay: 6 signs you should stay
Sometimes a relationship crisis is just that – a crisis that needs to be overcome.
Not every problem should immediately mean that you have to draw a line.
There isn't a relationship that doesn't need to be worked on. Here are signs that the relationship is worth staying in.
1. Love, Respect and Trust
The first and most important reason for a relationship should always be love. Two people who love each other can cope with a lot.
Besides love, trust and respect are very important for a good relationship.
When you have a partner who you can trust, who treats you with respect and who showers you with love and tenderness, misunderstandings, arguments and maybe a bit of boredom every now and then don't mean much.< /p>
You two have what matters. Even if it is difficult, it is worth fighting for such a partner and such a relationship.
2. You know it can't get any better
Yes, you have problems sometimes and maybe this relationship crisis you are in now is bigger than any previous one, but you know: With him, when everything is going well, it can't be better.< /p>
With your partner, you feel better than in any relationship before.
When he takes you in his arms, you forget everything around you.
Everything is easier with him. Everything is better with him.
You know you've found something special. Your gut feeling tells you this man could be the right one.
3. He wants to work on the relationship
If problems arise in the relationship, your partner is willing to talk about them calmly. He is always asking how you are feeling.
He is always willing to hear your opinion and he always wants to know if there is anything he can do for you.
He doesn't mind seeing and admitting his own mistakes. Sorry is no stranger to him. And he really means it.
If you have such a partner, it is worth staying in the relationship and fighting for this relationship.
4. He is “Your Person”
We all have that one person in our lives that we care about most. For someone it's best friend, for someone else it's mother and some are lucky that their partner is that “their person” is.
When you have exciting news, your partner is the first person you want to call to share your joy.
When you're not feeling well, you want them by your side have.
If you try to imagine your life in the future, whether it is 5, 10 or 20 years, you can see your partner in your life.
In this one If so, you should stick with the relationship. And you should get through the relationship crisis together.
5. You are still loyal to each other
Being loyal to someone means standing by their side and always being there for them. Being loyal means supporting each other.
Imagine this situation: you two are arguing, you are very angry. But your partner has to go to work now.
You have been outside before and you know how cold it is and you tell him to take his jacket.
< p>So despite the argument you take care of your partner. Or even if you fight with him, you don't allow your girlfriends to gossip and say bad things about him.
All this is a sign that you always are still loyal and that this relationship is worth staying in.
6. Marriage and Children
Some relationships are just more serious than others and ending them is a little more complicated than marriage, for example.
Of course, getting a divorce is always an option, but if you're in a marriage, you really shouldn't give up that easily.
You've probably given it some thought as to why you want to marry this man Now remember all these reasons.
If you two also have children together, they should also be a reason not to give up so easily.
Kids alone should not be the number one reason to stay in a relationship.
An unhealthy partnership can only harm the children. But because of her, it's worth giving the relationship a second chance.
Stay, but how?
Once you've decided to stay in the relationship, you have to but you also know that you still have a long way to go.
The relationship will not be perfect all of a sudden.
The best thing you two can do is see this relationship crisis as a fresh start. Remember the beginning of the relationship and try to get the relationship back to how it was in the beginning.
Try to have a romantic evening together or go on a date each week. Tell your partner frequently that you love them and also show them your love and affection through kisses and other tenderness.
All of this leads to you approaching each other again. and that love blossoms again.
To go or to stay …or something third?
If you gowhen hearing the answer to this question, one usually thinks of ending the relationship.
Stay on the other hand stands for: the situation as it is to accept and move on.
But the problem is that it's safe to say that nothing in life is black or white. is, there are always a lot of shades of gray.
In the relationship, too, it's not just black or white, it doesn't always have to be a final go or stay.
You can also opt for variants that are not so radical. Variants in which go or stay is only a partial go or stay.
1. Couples Therapy
One option to remain in the relationship, but under certain conditions, is to tell your partner that you want to try couples counseling.
< p>Don't be ashamed to seek professional help.
A couples therapist can see our problems much better and understand why we are unable to solve these problems on our own.
He can also help us by teaching us various exercises on how to wed ;they can work on the relationship alone.
One of the most important things you learn in couples therapy is how to communicate well and successfully with each other.
One should definitely not avoid relationship experts if we cannot manage to steer the relationship on the right path on our own.
2. Open Relationship
A second option, which really isn't for everyone, but is a way to open up the relationship. Could you imagine that?
Have you ever wanted to try an open relationship? Do you think your partner would like this idea?
Being in an open relationship doesn't mean looking for another partner and having two relationships at the same time.
It just means being free to make new friends without the guilt.
Just answer the question: is there anything better out there?
They say there are a lot of fish in the sea, but maybe when you see the other fish, do you understand that your fish is the best? ?
3. Temporary separation
Another option is to separate from your partner for a while, or. a temporary separation. Just take a step back and think about everything on your own.
I recommend this option especially if alcoholism or some kind of addiction is the problem in the relationship.
If someone isn't at peace with themselves, they can't be a good partner either.
You have to solve your personal problems first and then you can give love a second chance.
Then you can try a fresh start.