After a while, you finally got lucky!
You met a great man who practically convinced you at first sight. You've bonded and you feel a kind of chemistry you haven't felt in a long time.
Attractive, humorous, interesting, charming, smart … where has he been hiding so far?
And finally that day came. The day of your date. ?
One strives to find the ideal outfit, to prepare interesting topics of conversation in order to make a good impression.
So you've decided to present yourself in the best light. A new dress, a chic hairstyle, beautiful make-up – everything is top notch. You feel good and can't wait to meet up with him to get to know him better.
You came to the restaurant you were supposed to be at, but he's still there not there.
So okay, maybe he's just a few minutes late, you tell yourself. However, you look around and keep an eye on the door hoping that he will enter any second.
People are coming and going but he doesn't come. Your cell phone remains silent and there seems to be no trace of it.
A horror scenario that you have only seen in films and series is about to come true: he stood you up. You are confused, you did not expect this. You try to call and text him – he doesn't answer.
Maybe he forgot? Maybe something terrible happened to him on the way to the restaurant? An accident? Maybe he saw me and left because he didn't like me?
A thousand questions and a thousand thoughts are buzzing in your head like bees in a hive. You can't believe this happened to you.
So what do I do now?
Getting transferred is one of those dating scenarios that is not at all pleasant and can really hurt.
Whether it's a blind date from a dating app or with someone you've actually met – being transferred is just disrespectful behavior towards another person.
While it's difficult to accept when we get turned down after the first date or several, we somehow learn to deal with it because we get at least one explanation.
But situations like this are a huge hit to ego and self esteem and it makes you feel like you've taken a beating.
How do I ü Do you even deal with it?
In the following you will learn how to behave in such situations and how to keep a cool head if something like this happens to you.
Table of ContentsShow 1 What are the reasons for being promoted? 2 Dealing with a transfer correctly: How to deal with it 3 1. Give him a late rejection 4 2. Call your best friends 5 3. A date with yourself sounds great, doesn't it? 6 4. Keep your good mood 7 Getting promoted has nothing to do with you! 8 What will I do?
What are the reasons for being promoted?
When this type of dating horror occurs, the first question is: Why ?
Did it happen by accident? Maybe he overslept? Maybe he forgot?
Or on purpose? Fear, too much stress, why?
In most cases there is a lack of courage to face the problem, because whatever the reason, it works somehow it all boils down to the fact that some people prefer to run away from problems.
Some people just find it difficult to tell someone face-to-face that there's no chemistry, that it's not working, or give a real reason why they can't or don't want to come on a scheduled date.
In order to avoid confronting their feelings, some people may choose to run away from situations that make them embarrassed. It's the same conflict-avoiding behavior that tempts people to ghost.
Some people will rather stand you up because they are afraid of making bad decisions and lack self-confidence. You may therefore get cold feet before a date and decide to call it a day.
On the other hand, there are also people who are afraid of meeting someone in person with whom you have only spoken online.
Your digital world is a safe world for you, where human interaction is easier for you.
Such people transfer others because they are generally afraid of abandonment and insecure. In some cases, such behavior borders on social phobia.
Once the online interaction moves towards a real face-to-face meeting, they can't hide behind theirs hide digital mask and freak out.
Besides there is another reason that applies to men.
Let's put it this way: Has it ever happened to you that the man you're dating sends you a quick text just before your date: “Hey, I'm not going to make it tonight. Meet me up with some friends, maybe next time?”
Then you're standing there with a slight WTF look on your face and can't believe your eyes.
Shave, moisturizer, hair and face mask, body milk, the most beautiful perfume, the best make-up – and for what?!
Men are unaware that the illusion of ”natural” Perfection takes a long time and don't see a big deal in canceling at the last minute because they're like, “Why are you making an elephant out of a mosquito?” We'll meet up the next day.”
Who wouldn’t be pissed off?!
So dear men, if you're reading this, let your girlfriends know at least a few hours in advance that you can't come on a date!
And now we return to that cruel transfer and how to deal with it. Here are a few dating tips for you:
Handling a transfer correctly: How to deal with it
First of all, I want to Familiarize yourself with ways to avoid getting promoted to avoid embarrassing yourself.
Being transferred usually comes as a surprise, because you don't argue with it. Therefore it might be useful to consider this as a possible option and therefore create a backup plan.
One thing you can actually do is, during the day of your date: ”Hey, I just want to check in and see if we can see you tonight? ?” and remind him of your appointment in case he forgot.
Second, for blind dates and hookups during the dating phase, the best thing to do is go to places that are close to you.
Don't get me wrong, I just mean that you you don’t necessarily have to travel to another city or country to meet someone for the first time.
Thanks to a good internet connection, it is of course not uncommon these days to meet people who are even on live on two continents.
However, if it is someone close to you, arrange a meeting point in your town or at least halfway between you and them to avoid the added risk of wandering around alone in an unfamiliar place.
I'm telling you this because something similar happened to my girlfriend: she ended up at the airport, where she was supposed to be picked up by the man she's been texting with for the past 2 months.
She couldn't wait to meet him in person and spend an exciting weekend with him. And guess what happened?
He didn't show up. He blocked her on all social networks, changed his number and just disappeared without a trace.
But after a few months he called her with an explanation. Just imagine: in the end it turned out he was married with a family and at the last minute he realized he didn't want to risk it.
He was ashamed and thought it would be easier to just disappear without a trace. ?
Well, my girlfriend definitely got the hang of it, I can tell you that for sure.
Besides that, she at least had an exciting weekend alone in Bordeaux and tasted the best French wines so it wasn't all that bad. ?
Things like this should be kept in mind just in case, but I don’t want you to get scared now and never go on dates again because that could happen.
There is always a certain risk in everything. So don't give up on dating and the excitement that it brings because of a stumbling block.
How to keep your cool while getting promoted:
1. Give him a late cancellation
Okay, it's clear your date isn't coming. It's been half an hour, even an hour, and he doesn't show up.
The first thing you will do, in most cases, is give him the leap of faith because maybe something more important has really come up. You know never. may be ?♀️
A message like: “Hey, I came, are you okay?” is something that the most of us would do. Nothing wrong with that, we can send something like this and hope for a reply aaaabut …
Instead of asking where he is, you can do something better. You can try calling him. If he doesn't answer your call, text him a message like this:
“Heyy, looks like you can't answer. No problem. I just called to tell you that I won't be able to make the date tonight, something came up. I'm sorry, maybe another time? “
You can also write something like:
? Sorry I forgot I have plans with friends that I can't cancel.
• A family emergency has intervened.
• I have to work overtime.
• I don't feel very well tonight and similar words.
With a message like this you are letting him know that he is not the most important thing and that you have your own life too. Most importantly, you've turned the game in your favor: now he thinks you've stood him up.
You're also giving him a chance to see how he's going to react. He can ignore the message, which should make it clear to you that all of your interaction should stop there, but he may be interested and reply.
But definitely consider whether it should It's worth keeping in touch and giving someone who dumped you a second chance.
2. Call your best friends
Who will be there for you in the worst of times if not your besties?
Unless it's late at night and you know they're not busy with something else If you are interested, you can call them and invite them to do something together. Or just tell her about everything that happened to you.
I'm sure they will offer you great support and give you the best advice on how to act in this situation.
Also, when they are around, kö Can you go into town and let it rip? A girls night out is a real men's detox that you need in situations like this.
And if not, then at least her words of comfort and advice will help you feel better.
3. A date with yourself sounds great, doesn't it?
And what do you think about a date with yourself?
Lots of people like to go out alone from time to time and only afford that time for themselves, while others find it strange.
Have you ever tried going out alone in the morning to be in a Café drinking coffee with the morning paper, light music playing in the background and the soft murmur of people around you?
Now you're probably thinking, why would I want to drink coffee alone?! But why not? It's a great way to start the day and time just for you.
Why would you, dressed up so smartly, go home hungry and thirsty immediately after a failed date because that someone wasn't appeared?
Instead, use this time to yourself and enjoy your own company. Order the best food or drink and allow yourself the pleasure of enjoying the tranquillity.
And who knows, maybe a handsome man is sitting at the bar and notices you? Maybe you notice an attractive waiter? You never know. ?
If not, it doesn't matter anyway. In addition, you can also take an evening stroll to clear your mind and decide what to do.
When it's still daylight, there's nothing better than some consolation shopping close. Shopping is always a panacea and can improve any mood.
So don't go home right away. Be alone with yourself and enjoy.
4. Continue to keep your good mood
Finally, it is important that you keep your good mood. Don't let such things discourage you and lose your faith in love and the right partner.
When dating, we have to be prepared for anything because we never know what can happen and it is exactly this unknown, which makes the search for a partner really interesting.
Not everything can always run like clockwork.
Many people will walk through your life, making you happy as well as sad, hurting you, disappointing and upsetting you, but all are an integral part of life.
We learn from some experiences , some make us stronger, others open our eyes, some we hardly recover from, but it's important not to lose our optimism and positivity.
Being promoted has nothing to do with you to do!
Don't let your self-esteem fall and make you think you're not good enough.
This kind of rejection is definitely something we don't want to experience on our own skin , but remember that getting promoted has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Someone will like you, someone won't, and that's perfectly fine as long as you have an explanation and receive a respectful rebuff. Anything else is simply disrespectful.
A person who doesn't have the courage to step up and explain how things really are is definitely not the right person for you.
Of course it can It's always possible that something has actually happened in the meantime, but even then you can find a way to let people know so they don't have to wait hours and wonder what's going on.
What will I do?
It's certainly the number one question you're asking yourself and I'm sure you already know the answer to.
It all depends on how the situation will develop. It is possible that after a few days he will reply with an explanation as to why he could not come or why he could not answer.
It is up to you to judge whether he deserves a second chance .
It really does happen that people don't go on a date because of some of their fears or social phobias they are struggling with.
Here we can't judge or know how they feel comfortable in their own skin, but I find that a simple message with an explanation solves a lot of problems.
If he doesn't reply at all, it's time to send a To call it a day and stop thinking about this guy because it just doesn't pay to be angry and frustrated about him.
Go on with your life and forget him. You deserve someone who gives you their time and who can't wait to see you. Or at least lets you know where you stand.
Under no circumstances should you give up love and the search for a partner. Your perfect dream man is waiting for you somewhere.
Someone who knows how valuable you are and who doesn't dare miss the opportunity to spend time with you because he is aware that you are unique.
Conclusion:Being promoted is certainly an emotional game and can be painful, but it's not something to get overly frustrated about.
Keeping a cool head is important and keep optimistic and not let the transferee know that you were hit so hard.
After all, there is something good in such situations: You know immediately who you are not dealing with want to have. A man who doesn't have the courage to explain how things are is an immature man who you don't need in life.
So cheer up and don't give up: fall down, get up, crown judge, smile and move on until you get the perfect one you deserve!
Good luck!
Sofia Mü ller
Relationship counselor Sofia Müller decided that through her articles and books she could reach and help more people, so she started her blog Your Way.
