I don't think I was ready to admit what you did to me. That I was willing to admit that you stripped me of all my strengths and values. You managed to take everything from me and I let&szz; do it you I letß you do it because I believed that you love me. I letß do it because I had no idea there were people out there who would do that to someone. I couldn't believe I was capable of falling in love with one of these people. But now I see what you did and I have some things to tell you.
Fuck you for not making me feel pretty enough.Every other woman out there was, “So beautiful, oh my god, do you see that? She looks stunning. “Yes she did, but I looked great too. I'm beautiful too, but you never seemed to notice that. You never seemed to notice me, it was always the other women who got your attention, it was always the ones who looked amazing, who walked like goddesses. Not once did you realize that maybe I wanted to feel that way too. Maybe I wanted to feel beautiful as I was without adjusting any part of me. But I don't think you've ever seen me like this. There was always something missing.
Fuck you for making me feel like I wasn't smart enough.How many times have you laughed at me for asking something I didn't know? How many times have you laughed at me for not knowing anything about computers? Instead of supporting me and trying to explain it to me, you made fun of me. Instead of being proud that I was interested in your work and I wanted to know more about it, you laughed at me and said my brain was too small to handle it. Not once have I made fun of you, not once have I laughed at you for not knowing things. But I guess that's who you are, Mr. Know It All.
Fuck you for making me feel like I'm not worthy.I never felt worthy of your love, kisses and touches. You messed me up so much I felt like I was the lucky one to have you. I was lucky enough to have someone who was never there when I needed them. Having someone whose idea of fun was making fun of me. Having someone who only cared about themselves, having someone who never cared about me, not even. How lucky I was.
Fuck you for not making me good enough.You were so good at your games that I honestly didn't think I was good enough for you. That I was never enough, that I had nothing to offer you, that I had nothing to give you but my unconditional love. So I loved you with all my heart whenever you were down, whenever you were happy, whenever you failed and whenever you made it. I loved you when you treated me like shit because I thought you loved me too. I only wish I had realized that sooner, that I had seen your true colors before it was too late. That I would have seen your manipulation before it overpowered me.
But I guess I had to learn the hard way. I had to learn to speak again, to breathe again, to love myself again. I had to learn that it was never my fault and I had to learn that you were the lucky one to have me. I had to try so hard to see my beauty to see my worth in this broken woman you left behind. But guess what? I'm not broken anymore and I know I'm more than enough. It was only you who couldn't see that.
