Almost in every relationship, regardless of whether it is a steady or a casual relationship, there are feelings of jealousy that give the partner stomach ache cool ;nally.
It doesn't have to mean that only the jealous person suffers.
The whole thing also upsets the other partner, because he is standing all the time under surveillance and accused of all sorts of things.
However, we distinguish between two types of jealousy: we have the healthy jealousy and the pathological jealousy that makes relationship problems commonplace.
What is the difference between the two types of jealousy? Can you have a happy relationship with such feelings of jealousy or is that a total relationship killer?
Healthy jealousy is very common, or better yet, every person in the world is jealous in their own way and sometimes shows that side of themselves, although it's not always easy to show.
That's because a lot of people have self-doubt and are trying to protect themselves through jealousy outbursts.
It happens because you're in a relationship where you are afraid of loss, you have forgiven a breach of trust and now you can't deal with your own emotional chaos.
The feeling of jealousy comes over you whether you want it or not, your heart starts racing and you start analyzing your partner's behavior.
If you meet again after a while If you get up, you realize that you reacted too violently and that your partner hasn't done anything bad, then you can say that it's healthy jealousy.
Your partner's gaze will sometimes really wander into another, which you don't like very much, but you are aware that there is nothing bad behind it.
The feeling of jealousy annoys you and you give yourself up Make sure you defeat it so it doesn't get the upper hand.
What triggers the healthy jealousy?
The Grü Ends themselves vary greatly from person to person, but there are also a few similarities. I'm sure most of us will find each other.
1. The ex/the ex
No matter how long we've been with someone, our ex always makes us feel jealous, which we can rarely control. It's primarily because you're insecure yourself.
You're wondering, does your partner still love their ex, have the feelings completely gone?
The fear of loss plays games with you and awakens the nagging feeling of dissatisfaction in you.
You skillfully avoid the subject of jealousy because you don't want your partner to know.
You don't want him to know that his ex is causing you such grief and you're just eating it all inside yourself .
2. Low Self-Esteem
If you don't have self-esteem, it can throw you off.
You think you're not good enough and everything your partner does drives you crazy.
When you realize that you think he's too nice to a co-worker or meet an old friend, you panic because you think he's about to trade you in.
You think all women are beautiful ;Lower and more attractive than yourself and that makes you feel insecure, although your husband is at your feet, you always have a bad feeling in your stomach and your own jealousy leads to arguments that make no sense.< /p>
3. You think it's a token of love
You often hear that when someone loves you, they are also jealous. So you learned jealousy over time because you don't want your partner to think you don't love them enough.
You've never been a jealous person, but you kind of have to If you show your partner that you only want him for yourself, then a fit of jealousy comes at just the right time.
But I think there are other tokens of love in the world, so you can avoid jealousy with a clear conscience.
4. Bad experiences in the past
You've been through a bad relationship. It left deep scars on you and now you're always on your guard.
You think that cheating is part of every relationship and that one infidelity will ruin everything for you.
That's why you've become a jealous person. You don't trust your current partner because you were played off in the past.
Your own jealousy is preventing you from being happy.
Jealousy morbid is a bit more complicated, if you become the victim of morbid jealousy, you cannot have a healthy relationship. Everything is questioned, every step of the partner is controlled, even the e-mails and private messages are searched.
Everything your partner does has to be transparent and he has to justify everything he does.
There are also certain triggers for the pathological jealousy that we share together will go to the bottom.
1. Mental health issues
Mental health issues are no joke, they can have a huge impact on the development of a relationship.
When someone is mentally unstable, there are times when their jealousy will make their partner's life miserable.
People with mental health problems don't realize that they are manipulating their partners that they corner their partners and do everything possible to isolate them from the outside world.
They only want their partners for themselves and in most for’s f’ All face psychological blackmail because that's the only way they can get what they want.
2. Problems from the past
Problems from the past can be related to anything, it can be that you felt unloved by your parents, that you were always in the shadow of your siblings and they didn't give you enough attention.
Sometimes it also happens that you were teased at school and that has serious consequences for the later development of our character and self-confidence.
Even as a teenager you were jealous of others because they were more popular and successful. You have always been the outsider and that has remained the case until now.
That's why you try in every possible way to focus your partner on you and to have them just for yourself.
How to fight jealousy?
Fighting jealousy can be very difficult. Many people don't even realize that under the influence of their jealousy they endanger their love life and that they often trip themselves up and fail because of their own jealousy.
Like any other problem there is Also for jealousy there are some useful tips on how to fight it so you can get the peace of mind you deserve.
1. Stay true to yourself
Even though you're in a relationship, it's very important that you don't focus too much on your partner.
You also have to lead your own life, you have to pursue your own goals and always look for new challenges in order to develop yourself further.
If you keep tapping in the same place all the time, you will become too much Having free time, you will be dissatisfied with your own life, so you will devote yourself too much to your partner's life.
Jealousy can develop in different directions.
One moment you will be jealous of his co-worker, the other moment you will be jealous of his promotion because he has achieved better results than you.
Now it's up to you. Do you just want to keep your eyes on your partner or do you want to make the most of your own life?
2. Get rid of the past
It is of great importance that you get rid of your past. All that you have already processed and lived through must not have any influence on the development of your life and your relationship.
You need to put an end to it and banish your past from the future and now.
Your bad experiences should only serve as lessons to never let them happen to you again, but they shouldn't stop you from that you lead a happy and balanced life.
3. Be honest with yourself and your partner
Sweeping all problems under the rug will not improve anything, on the contrary, it can make the whole situation worse.
You need to be open and honest about your feelings of jealousy, with your partner Talk about it because only the two of you can find a solution together.
If your partner is doing something that makes you act like this, you should bring it up.< /p>
If you carry a certain ballast on your shoulders and your partner doesn't know about it, then he can't take the ballast from you either.
You need to make him aware of what he's doing wrong because your partner can't read minds.
You need to make it clear to him what you want from a relationship, what you want from him first and foremost, because that's the only way you can have a harmonious relationship.
You shouldn't be ashamed of it, because it takes a lot of courage to face problems about your own fears talk.
Your partner will consider themselves lucky that you have so much trust in them and share your innermost secrets with them.
4. Confront your partner
It doesn't always mean that you just imagined everything, it can very well happen that your partner is hiding something from you.
Everyone has a sixth sense and that includes a sinking feeling in the stomach.
It doesn't happen by itself, your partner has triggered it in you through his/her behavior.< /p>
Lately he's often been working overtime, he's on the phone with his work colleague more and more often and he always carries his mobile phone in his pocket.
He's never done anything like that before . Of course you will become suspicious and you should confront him so that he can see that you have noticed that he is behaving differently.
It is important that you have a calm and have an understanding conversation.
You have to explain to him that your mood swings are his fault, that he has aroused suspicions in you and that you want to solve the relationship problem.
Either you are right and he is cheating on you or you are are wrong and he will explain everything to you. Either way, you win.
It's always better to break up in time because sooner or later you'll find out if he's cheating and you'll be even more hurt.< /p>
On the other hand, if you're wrong, he'll find that he needs to do more to keep your relationship going.
5. Boost your self-confidence
Your jealousy is very much related to your self-confidence.
When someone appreciates themselves’ and he shows a healthy self-confidence, then nothing can throw him off that quickly.
Jealous people often suffer from low self-esteem and this can cause them major problems in their personal lives. You need to boost your self-confidence in order to recognize your worth.
When you know your own worth, you will also realize that there is no reason to be jealous. Nobody is you and nobody can replace you.
But how can you boost your confidence? You need to focus more on yourself. You have to achieve your own goals, that will inspire you.
Checking one thing off the checklist one after the other will give you new energy that you will convert into positive feelings and self-confidence.
You realize that there is much more to you than you thought.
What do you do when you have a jealous tantrum?
When you have a jealous tantrum, you should back off first. Any decision made out of anger or dissatisfaction can have serious consequences for the relationship.
In such a situation you have to collect yourself first, analyze everything, is it really justified or did you imagine something that has nothing to do with reality?
Our perception and our feelings can sometimes throw a spanner in the works and we react too explosively.
The best thing is to take a break, get out of the way, collect your thoughts, even take a walk through them nature can be helpful.
You can also slowly count to ten and only when your anger has subsided should you talk to your partner about it.
You have to reveal to him what made you so upset, what for a mistake he has made without being aware of it.
Maybe he does some things unconsciously, but because you always annoyedly address him, he reacts correspondingly annoyed and it escalates every time between you.
Jealousy happens in every relationship, but it's important that it doesn't play the main role in your relationship.
If you find that these tips are of no use to you and jealousy keeps coming back , then you should contact an expert.
Some problems cannot be solved on your own, professional help is required.
It is always better to seek help in a timely manner than to end up in a toxic relationship. The more jealous you get, the more possessive you become towards your partner.
This can lead to you constantly checking him, checking everything, not letting him have one There is freedom.
In that case, your partner can withdraw completely, fall into a dark depression and shape their life according to your rules, or they can run away.
In both In most cases you are the loser, because you don't want to have a puppet as a partner who does everything you tell her, who no longer has a self of her own.
In the second case you will end up alone and that you certainly don’t wish.
It is time that you look your problems in the eye and look for the best possible solution.
If you are with only then you can lead a happy and contented relationship.
Jealousy is poison for the relationship and you should get rid of it as soon as possible as possible!