It is not so rare that couples who have been in long-term relationships do not feel butterflies in their stomachs. Everyday life crushes you and you only focus on the bad sides of your love life.
You get the feeling that your partner is to blame for the fact that you are not making any progress in life yourself. We used to have bigger goals and now we're trapped in the four walls of our own home with the same person.
Lots of thoughts run through our heads. Maybe we rushed everything? We didn't even really know each other and now we're in a serious relationship.
Many didn't want marriage at all, kids and now they are in the thick of it.
Was the whole attempt to start a family just a mistake or do I have the wrong partner by my side? Would it be helpful to take a break or does a break in a relationship mean the end?
Many couples are simply afraid to bring up this topic, to talk openly with their partner about their own thoughts and to find a common solution.
In most cases, one is dissatisfied, the other partner doesn't even realize that the other is frustrated and unhappy in the relationship.
And that's exactly why relationship problems should not be swept under the rug, but addressed. Play with open cards so that the partner is not surprised if there is a break in the relationship.
If you don't want a permanent separation from your partner, you have to make a lot of effort to save the shambles of the old relationship. That is why many couples decide to temporarily separate.
When is a temporary separation actually a good idea? Is it possible to use this time wisely and avoid the end of the relationship?
There is a lot to discuss about this topic, some will say that it is a great idea, while other couples will advise against it .
Now it is important to think about your own needs, to bring your own feelings to the fore, to go into yourself and to make a concrete decision about what you want for the future.
If you still think that this relationship can be saved and that a relationship break can be beneficial, you should try that too.
If you have already made the decision to draw a line and separate from your partner for good, then it makes no sense to be separated from your partner for six months and go through a separation phase.
Clarity is the be-all and end-all of any time apart. You need to have a clear goal in mind and why you want to make this new attempt. What drives you to give the relationship another chance?
If you decide to take a break from your relationship, you also have to prepare for a physical separation, because you can't have one without the other.
Now you have to think about many other factors, first of all, if you have children together.
Many couples advise against taking a break from their relationship and would rather do couples therapy.
Experts solve such relationship problems with ease and after a short time you give the relationship a new chance or you separate for good.
But for those couples who don't want to consult a couples therapist, we have a few specific tips on when it's worth taking a break from a relationship and reorganizing your own feelings.
When should you give a temporary breakup a chance?
There are thousands of reasons why you should give a relationship a second chance. The couples have to examine these reasons individually and come to a joint decision.
The easiest thing to do is to drop everything and start a new relationship. But will we feel better afterwards, or will lovesickness throw a spanner in the works?
When you've gotten into this relationship phase, it's useful to take a break from the relationship and the relationship problems to get rid of.
1. Everyday frustration
More and more often it happens that couples who have lived together for several years are frustrated. No one really wants to admit it, but people change over time, and not always for the better.
When the relationship was new, you had an active life, you met friends, family and you had a lot in common with your partner.
But now a few years have passed and everything has changed. Everyday life has crept into every pore of living together and it is difficult to remember the positive side of your partner.
Everything he or she does annoys you, you start to feel like you've grown apart. But still you're afraid to end it all.
You just got too used to each other and now you couldn't handle the pain of separation.
But it doesn't always have to automatically mean the final end. When it comes to little things, certain quirks that you liked at the beginning and now aren't so cute anymore. you shouldn't rush into anything.
Everyday life itself can be stressful and everyone thinks more about themselves than about their partner and you shouldn't take that personally. It doesn't mean that your partner doesn't love you anymore or value you less.
If your partner neglects you and you don't get enough attention, a relationship break is just what you need.
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This way you learn to appreciate each other again and you realize that it is easy to lose your partner if you don't take good care of them.
2. Constant arguments
When you live together in a small space, it can happen that you often get at each other's hair. That's not so bad, because every couple fights, there isn't a couple in the world that hasn't fought with each other at least once in their lives.
But when should you start worrying about the arguments? When is it too much of a good thing? Can these fights also be bad for your health?
These are important questions that we will answer. Some couples therapists say that fighting is healthy for the relationship because it allows you to realize what you have in your partner.
But if every day starts and ends with a fight, then you can we can't talk about a healthy and loving relationship anymore.
If the quarrels are getting more and more into the past and you are reviving topics that you have already discussed just so that you can blame your partner, you should take a break.
It's no use , if you live together but don't enjoy living together. It's very bad for your health if you use any excuse just so you don't have to go home because you know there's going to be another fight.
Such relationships are toxic and in such a case you should seek couples counseling first, if that doesn't help you should try physical separation.
3. Cheating
Cheating is a topic that causes lovesickness for many couples. However, if it happens that your partner has betrayed you and cheated on you, you should definitely take a break.
Living together after cheating can create emotional chaos that can only further damn the relationship.
Perhaps it wouldn't be so wise to have a spatial one Separating, because you have already lost trust and if you are still separated, it can happen that you live in constant distrust and keep checking your partner.
In such a case, you should immediately seek professional help so that you can get to the bottom of your desire to cheat. What drove your partner to betray you in this way?
Was it just a one-time thing or will it happen again? Is it possible to restore trust at all or will you always have to live with fear?
You should let a few weeks pass and only then seek a conversation with your partner. It should take some time for the feelings to subside and for you to get a clear head.
If you let the emotions that hurt you in the moment guide you, you can make a decision too quickly that you will regret later.
You should not ask for information about the process of cheating, as it can be very painful. You should only be interested in what made your partner do it and how you can save your relationship.
It should be an emotional break, without communication, so to speak, there should be radio silence between you.
If you decide to stay in the same apartment, it will also be difficult, but you can still develop a plan.
You can divide the rooms exactly and set times of the Make use of the kitchen so that you don't have to cross paths. If you still want to live completely separately, then it is very important to set precise rules.
What is allowed and what is not, when do you see each other or do you not see each other at all? Does the partner always have to be available or is there complete radio silence?
After cheating, most couples find it very difficult to make a fresh start, you can't forget what happened and that's why you can get up not focus on the common future. One becomes a victim of the past again and again.
4. Common children
If you have children together, you shouldn't make hasty decisions. You have to compare all possible options and find the best solution.
In most relationships, most couples only pick themselves up because of the children.
They don't want any Separation because of the children because they are still small and need both parents in their growth process. But is that really the best solution when you no longer love each other?
When you can no longer look your partner in the eye because he has hurt you deeply? Of course, there's no point in staying in a relationship like this.
If your parents don't love and trust each other anymore, you should start over.
The children feel the tension and it can confuse them. Children automatically think the worst, that they are to blame for their parents' fights and that they did something wrong.
It's always better to be open with children, of course only when they are a bit older and can understand some things.
Babies and toddlers would I don't understand at all, so you can save the conversation for later.
But if you are together and feel that a change would do you good, that a time out would be just the thing for your relationship so that you both can collect your thoughts and your feelings When you come to terms with it, you should give a temporary breakup a shot.
With children involved, it can get a little trickier, but nothing that two adults can't handle.
Sometimes a parent feels overwhelmed with the whole situation, relationship, work, children and they just want to escape.
The staged escape can show him what he can lose, that family is the greatest happiness on earth and that it is worth fighting.
If On the other hand, if the partner has already made the decision to end everything, a break in the relationship will not change anything, it will only prolong the process and that can only give the other partner false hope.
5. Creating clarity
Many relationships can be tested with a relationship break. It is not uncommon for one person to cling to the relationship by any means necessary, while the other is already over the mountains.
It is not healthy behavior to encourage someone to do so, so to speak force to be in a relationship, manipulating the other and making the person feel guilty.
A relationship is something consensual, something both sides should enjoy.
If you constantly put pressure on your partner, it's only a matter of time before his collar bursts and he runs away. In this case, a temporary separation is the ideal solution.
You get the opportunity to test how you would fare without your partner. Is a breakup really what you're craving or did you just need some alone time to breathe a sigh of relief and get a new perspective?
It can be a painful experience when a person doesn't agree with the break, when it makes them feel abandoned, when they don't see the purpose and meaning of the relationship break.
Once again you have to first sit down and talk about your feelings, doubts, and fears, so that your partner also knows exactly why such a relationship break has to take place. You have to take away your partner's fear and explain everything to him that it is only temporary and that you will start again.
What do you have to consider when separating temporarily?
A temporary separation can be very insidious. She can set us many traps that we will fall into sooner or later.
But we can still pay attention to a few things ourselves so that the relationship break does not scare the family, but also the partners themselves.
If you decide to separate temporarily, you have to know exactly what you are hoping for from it.
In most cases it is a normal, happy relationship, the butterflies in your stomach can finally be felt again and you can literally feel the infatuation in the air.
But with that you can also achieve that, you must not forget a few important points.
1. Fixed rules
If you have decided to go through a temporary separation, you also have to set up fixed rules. Many couples trip themselves up in this way and arguments become more frequent during the break.
When you’re in a committed relationship or marriage, it’s normal to expect fidelity from your partner. If you don't define that right at the beginning, it can become a big problem later.
Sometimes it happens that the partner has a one-night stand during the time-out or still does worse an affair, which can be very hurtful for your partner.
This leads to a loss of trust and only rarely does a reconciliation occur.
You have to define exactly whether flirting, meeting other people and ”cheating” allowed is. If you choose to allow it, you must also be able to deal with the possible consequences.
It can easily happen that during the break in a relationship someone will start looking again and meet someone new. And it can happen faster than you think that you fall in love again and just end the old relationship.
When one is starting an affair and the other hasn't been looking for anything new, but has been looking all the time waiting for the reunion, it can be very hurtful and such behavior can cause a relationship breakup.
Accurate rules are a must. It would be best to write everything down to avoid complications later.
2. Stay silent or keep in touch
That's a question many couples ask themselves when it comes to a relationship break. What's better, total silence or just keep in touch?
It depends on the two of you. If you need some time out from each other, then not having contact would also be useful.
That way you get a chance to miss each other, to feel like it is without the other. Only then can you realize what really matters to you.
If you have nevertheless decided to keep in touch, you shouldn't overdo it and be on the cell phone all the time and call your partner every half hour. This can come across as too intrusive and that's how your situation gets worse.
Once again, you need to define exactly how many calls and messages are allowed during the day/week.
3. The length of the relationship break
You have to arrange that exactly at the beginning, how long should the relationship break last? It shouldn't be too long, but it shouldn't be too short either.
Especially if it's a physical separation, don't stretch it out too much, because that way you can get used to being alone and you don't feel the need for a reconciliation.
The break in a relationship should not last a few days, because in such a short time you can change your thoughts don't arrange things in peace, you're still emotionally upset.
But it shouldn't last longer than half a year, because that's already too long.
Between one and three months would be ideal, because that gives you enough time, above all to think, but also been away from your partner for too long.
4. Planned Meetings
Planned meetings mostly relate to couples who have children together. When you have children together, you have to think about the well-being of the little ones and find the best solution for them.
For this very reason, it is important to make appointments with the children so that they know exactly when they will be able to see the other parent.
If there are holidays or birthdays during the downtime, you should arrange that too, so the children know if they will be with both parents.
The children shouldn't hear too much about your crisis, so it's important that you avoid arguments when the children are around.
A temporary separation can be a tough test that not every couple can master easily. The most important thing is that you both have a common goal and want to save your relationship.
If even one tries, the relationship is doomed from the start. Take enough time to think about everything, talk to each other and find the ideal solution to your problem together.
A temporary separation can be very helpful for the development of a Being in a relationship brings clarity, the partners become aware of the possible loss and only then do they realize what they have in their partner.
After a break in the relationship, the partners remember why they fell in love with each other ü have fallen in love at all, what they appreciate so much about their partner and get closer again after the breakup.
Breaks in relationships can breathe new life into the relationship if you use them well. It's up to you!
