This has happened to many couples. You've been together for years, the relationship has had its ups and downs and you got through everything together.
Slowly, people around you are starting to ask when you're finally going to take the next step become.
When you think about it, you have to shake your head because you don't see why exactly this life path should be the right one.
One starts starts a relationship, falls in love, realizes that something serious is developing out of it, then you have to move in together and eventually get married and have children.
But what happens if you don't feel like it? What happens when you want to be in a relationship but still want to keep your freedom?
Is it really so wrong that you don't want to share your own four walls with someone else? ;even though you love them?
Well, if you ask other couples who live together about it, you will get rejection.
That's the way of life, man as such is a social animal and through human history we are destined to live in a community.
Does it really always have to end like this? No, it doesn't have to! Through years of research into love relationships, experts came to an amazing result.
Couples who live apart but are still in a stable relationship are far happier than couples who live together and run a joint household.
Is it even possible to be committed but never move in together? It’s possible and this lifestyle even has its name – LAT relationship.
You've probably heard something about it, but since it seemed unfamiliar to you, you stopped investigating the LAT model.
What is behind the three letters that reveal a life model that many couples want.
What is a LAT relationship?
The term LAT relationship was coined in 1980 by the Dutch author Cees J. Straver. The abbreviation LAT is derived from the English and means living apart together.
If you look at the full name like this, you start to get an idea of what that could mean. The LAT relationship model attempts to create closeness between lovers through distance.
This is a self-selected relationship model in which LAT couples have separate homes, although they are in a steady relationship.
It often happens that LAT couples are married and even have children with each other but still live apart.
This does not mean that they are dissatisfied in their relationships, quite the opposite, they are perfectly content with their LAT relationships, for they retain their freedom, though they are bound.
In order to better understand the concept of this type of relationship, you have to get to the bottom of it and we will do that together.
LAT partnerships have all the elements of a regular partnership, one that is recognized by society only that the partners live separately and have separate household rents.
Although it sounds illogical, couples who live in the same apartment are often less satisfied than LAT couples who live in separate apartments.
This has to do with the fact that LAT couples skilfully avoid everyday stress. You rarely come across the everyday situations that lead to quarrels in many couples.
It starts with the classic washing up of dishes, through to vacuum cleaning and the still same financial problem of who gives how much from and why.
A LAT relationship can be thought of as a long-distance, close-up relationship. LAT pairs live separately but not too far apart. They use their time together better than couples who live together.
Now that doesn't mean that every relationship in which the couples live together is a total failure, but dissatisfaction is more common than in LAT partnerships.
To give us a clear picture of the relationships in a LAT relationship, in this article we list the pros and cons of a LAT partnership.
What are the advantages of a LAT relationship?
In a living apart together relationship there are many advantages that most couples miss in regular relationships, but only the rarest want to bring up these points because they would probably find no understanding from their partner .
For LAT couples, living apart comes first. Neither partner wants to give up their independence and freedom because of a relationship.
But in addition to the freedom that is maintained, there are a few other advantages that are worth mentioning:
1. Separate finances
Any couple you discuss conflicts in their relationship with, whether they are the older couples or the younger couples.
Money always plays a big and crucial role, whether we want it or not. And that's exactly what you avoid in a LAT relationship.
Each partner has their own finances, which they do not have to present to their partner or even share with them.
Everyone manages their household the way they want and can spend the money they earn in such a way that as he imagined.
There are no joint investments where someone is always against and then you have to convince him for days or weeks to get him to say yes.
< p>Separate cash registers offer less potential for conflict and in this way the partners are more relaxed and happier together.
2. No major changes
Almost everyone has experienced this, if you want to move in together, you have to pack your whole past life into a few boxes, many also have to let go of memories because there isn't that much space in the new shared apartment and you can only take the bare essentials with you.
Once you've gotten rid of all the memorabilia, you have to redecorate the apartment. And that's where two worlds collide. You, still a little dreamy girl and your boyfriend who likes it easy and comfortable.
Even the sofa becomes a topic of argument and you haven't even furnished a room. And if you're in a LAT relationship, you can keep your own apartment and don't have to change anything.
You can even stay true to your furnishing style and if you want to buy something new, you don't even have to discuss it with your partner, you decide for yourself.
3. No unnecessary bickering
When you live with someone, you first have to get used to the person and all their quirks and habits.
Some People don’t find it that easy and they keep getting into conflict situations that repeat themselves almost every day.
You are tidy and clean, but your partner is a bit more relaxed and sometimes eats chips in bed, which you absolutely hate.
You like to sleep in a little later at the weekend, but your partner enjoys his coffee early in the morning and since he is quite clumsy, he always wakes you up with the noises from the kitchen .
And don't forget his socks, which he leaves everywhere and which you can no longer see. You avoid all those things with a LAT relationship.
Your partner and you enjoy the time together and when you are fed up with each other, you each go to your own home.
You do not interfere in his lifestyle because this is not your home and he can do and let what he wants.
4. More sex
Many assume that when a couple lives together you have more sex, but many surveys have shown the opposite.
On average, LAT couples have more sex because they spend comparatively less time together and they use the time they have together for the finer things in life.
One has the feeling; hl that you are in the initial phase of the relationship all the time, in which you can fall in love with your partner all over again every day, you long for him, for a meeting and the passion lessens less.
5. More time for yourself
When you're in a LAT relationship, you can make time for yourself whenever you want. Often partners in long-term relationships sometimes need a break from each other, but since you live together, this is not so easy.
On the other hand, if you have separate apartments, everyone withdraws when they do desires it.
It doesn't mean that you don't love your partner, but everyone needs some alone time, especially after a stressful day at work.
< h2>What are the disadvantages of a LAT relationship?
When you read the benefits you think this sounds too good to be true and it is true because every relationship, whether the couple lives together or in separate apartments, also has its hurdles that they share in common have to master.
It is the same with LAT relationships and as you continue reading this article you will also learn what disadvantages such a LAT relationship brings with it.
< h2>1. Lack of togetherness
The beauty of living with someone is that you are never alone. Whenever you come home from work someone is waiting for you and if you are having a bad day there is someone to cheer you up.
Many couples love to cuddle with their partner in front of the TV and to enjoy the intimate togetherness. When you're in a LAT relationship, you don't have that luxury.
You come into an empty apartment and can only hug your own four walls, which don't send you a word of comfort. You are in a committed relationship but still feel lonely.
2. Little time together
If you live with someone, then you spend enough time with the person every day, no matter how hard you have to work, you come every evening into the arms of your loved one.
In a LAT relationship, it is common for partners to have too little time for each other when they lead stressful work lives.
When they are not at work, they use their free time to relax and recharge their batteries.
This is how you neglect the relationship and without realizing it, there is dissatisfaction.
3. Low Emotional Connection
Although distance is meant to create closeness, and often it does, there are exceptions where the partners cannot create a proper emotional connection .
Because you live separate lives, you can't really connect and live from day to day. You worry less about the relationship and the longevity of the partnership.
If a dispute arises, you have the option of avoiding your partner for days and the problems remain that way always hanging in the air until one day they hit you on the head.
Couples living in LAT are more likely to break up than couples living together because of the low level of emotional connection.
When you live together, you're just a lot more attached to your partner and you put in a lot more effort, the Maintaining a relationship and this is exactly the desire that LAT couples lack.
It can also happen that in a LAT relationship the desire to start a family never develops and you always stay in the same place in life, without evolving.
For many couples, even the desire to have children falls by the wayside because they cannot reconcile the LAT relationship and children.
It doesn't matter what type of relationship one decides, it is important that the relationship is based on trust, understanding and togetherness. Only then can you say that you have a good relationship.
LAT relationships have their pros and cons which we have presented, but each person must make their own decisions about what kind of life and what kind of relationship they want to lead.
If you are in a LAT relationship and you feel balanced, don't let other couples tell you that your relationship has no future.
You alone decide about your future and… about your happiness. Don't let other people pull the strings in your life and take care of your mental health.
If you still have concerns about moving in together after a relationship of many years, you can seek couples counseling and a psychologist or a psychologist will get to the bottom of your fears and give you helpful tips.
It is only important that you have a common goal, because you are in the same boat. Before such a relationship model, you should be clear about your long-term wishes and only then make a decision.
Both partners should have the same opinion, because it is pointless if one is dissatisfied.< /p>