break up, but how? 12 tips for a respectful end of a relationship

Break up, but how? 12 tips for a respectful end to a relationship

You no longer feel happy in your relationship? Despite all the talks and a lot of patience, the situation isn't getting any better?

You just don't see a future together?

Yes, unfortunately, not every relationship lasts forever. And only a few of us are lucky enough to find our soul mate on the first try.

Most of us go through different relationships during this search.

To a problem but it will if you have to end a relationship. No one wants to intentionally hurt their partner and yet we know we do it.

We then ask ourselves, is there an easier, better way to do it?

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How can I break up without unnecessarily hurting my partner?

You're in luck, because I have some answers for you.

From my own experiences, but also from those of my friends, I bring you the best tips for a respectful breakup.

Unfortunately, not all of our separations were so respectful, so I have also prepared some no-gos that you should definitely avoid.

Then, by the end of this article, you'll be able to break up like an expert. (Yes, it can be a job too, just read on.)

12 tips on how to break up respectfully:

< h2>1. Break up in person

This is the first and most important tip I have for you. When it comes to breaking up, face-to-face is the best option.

By face-to-face, you can explain to him why you want to end the relationship and what's in yours relationship went wrong.

So he also has the chance to say his opinion and to explain it from his perspective.

However, you should make sure that it doesn't end in a fight, but that you end up peacefully with each other; t.

It's always a good idea to ask yourself: How would I feel best if someone broke up with me?

By SMS or WhatsApp- Message is definitely not the answer. A phone call is also not okay.

PS Ok there are a few exceptions here.

The first is when there was no real relationship at all. But even someone you've been on a date or three with deserves a proper breakup, not just stopping reaching out.

The second exception is when your partner is aggressive towards you was. You don't have to watch it again to finish it.

2. Be honest

One of the most important things about ending a relationship is to be honest. Take some time to think about the real reasons you broke up.

If you want, you can try to write everything down to get a clear picture.

Skip the usual “It's not you, it's me” and also the “I’m not good enough for you”.

Your partner knows you well enough to know when you're lying. Lying can only make him wonder what the real reason is.

Otherwise he may not accept the ending and prolong the whole situation itself. You probably don't want that.

So being honest is good for both parties.

3. Be direct

You know, I've been thinking about it, maybe it won't work like that anymore…yes, I know; not…maybe we should break up…yes what do you think?… I'm not sure if I'm happy in this relationship…

You never break up like that. You only bring turmoil and insecurity into the relationship.

Of course, breaking up isn't the first thing you should do when there are relationship problems, but if you want to save the relationship, then don't talk About breaking up.

Likewise, if you're sure you want to break up, be direct.

Just say openly and directly that you are no longer happy and want to end the relationship.

After all, this is your decision and not a proposal that needs to be voted on.


4. Show empathy

You've had time to think about everything, you're ready for this conversation, but your partner isn't.

For him, it is it probably came as a shock. He loses his love.

Imagine you are in his place, you are the one who is left. It's not a nice feeling, is it?

Even if he himself felt that something was wrong, you should still show some empathy, after all, you both loved each other too.

Be careful, not him yet hurt more, choose your words. You should be honest, but not brutal.

5. Take your time for the conversation

It will definitely not be an easy, quick conversation. It's not something you can do early in the morning and then move on.

Even if you have a date later, it's not a good idea to strike up a conversation.


While it may seem like a limited time is a good idea as it gives you an excuse to call it quits and run away.

But this is a person you once loved who you planned your future with.

You definitely still have some feelings for him and one of them should be respect.

He deserves that you don't just get it over with quickly, but that you take your time and also answer all his questions.

6. Give him a chance to talk too

Imagine this relationship breakup: you say everything you have planned, your partner says OK, I see, you shake hands and everyone goes their own way.

Would be great, wouldn't it?

Unfortunately it's not that easy. Your partner will definitely have something to say. Of course, he also has his opinion about the relationship and the ending.

There are some things you will definitely disagree with, but that's OK too. After all, if you always agreed, you wouldn't break up, would you?

He might also start arguing, you should avoid that.

In arguments, a lot is said about not being able to withdraw later and none of you want that.

You once loved each other, were important to each other and that's why you should also part respectfully.

7. The partner should be the first to know

Of course it's ok if you tell your best friend that you're thinking about ending your relationship.

But not all of your friends and co-workers need to know this before you talk to your partner.

Only a person you have a great deal of confidence in can find out in front of their partner.


People talk to each other, unfortunately also about other people’s personal things.

It would be pretty bad if your partner found out about three corners that you were planning to break up with him to do.

It's only fair if he finds out from you first. Show loyalty to the end.

8. It matters where you end the relationship

Breaking up in your or his apartment is not a good idea.

Maybe he doesn’t want to leave yours after the call, or won’t let you go when it’s with him.

It can be worse in the shared apartment, but a little late; ter.

In a café, bar or restaurant might not seem like a bad idea, but what if there is a fight or maybe tears?

It's best to break up somewhere outside, on a walk, in the park, etc. You are alone but in public.

Everyone also has the option to leave the conversation and the place if problems arise.

9. Timing matters too

When a relationship breaks up, we certainly don't forget the timing.

Yeah, sure, after a while we probably don't remember remember the exact date.

Or maybe it would if it was the day before an important exam or two days before our birthday?

Break up on Valentine's Day? For real? Sometimes you have to be patient to make things easier for our partner.

But you shouldn't wait too long either. If you're sure that this relationship isn't going to bring you anything good, you don't have to sacrifice yourself.

Waiting a few days is ok, but not longer than a week.

10 Common things can wait

A breakup can be especially difficult when you live together. Who is moving out?

Who stays in the apartment? Can you afford to live alone? How do we split it all up?

If you're already sure it's time to call it quits, you should prepare an option for yourself before the interview.

A weekend or a week, or even two weeks if necessary, with a friend or with your parents is always a good idea so that your ex-partner has enough time to move out or pack his things.

Then, when feelings calm down, you can discuss technical things.

Even if you don't live together, you definitely have some of each other's things with you. It's a good idea there too, first some distance, then exchange.

11. Breaking Up Without Blame

You want this conversation to be respectful, don't you? So then there shouldn't be any blame.

You should state the reasons why you decided to break up.

But you did this and that and you didn't do that, that was wrong, I've said a thousand times…”now isn't the time.

That only brings arguments. It wouldn’t change the fact that it’s over now.

Likewise, you have to be prepared that you will probably break your partner’s heart. He'll be heartbroken.

But you're not intentionally hurting him and you shouldn't feel bad about it.

12. Social Media

Yes, we live in a time where we also have to think about what we want to do with our social media channels after the breakup.

Many people delete all evidence of their relationship online and immediately block their ex. They say it's too painful to see he's enjoying his single life.

Of course, that's better than constantly checking what the ex is doing, where he is and with whom.

In my opinion, it's better that you agree on when to do it should. You don't want your friends to find out that you're not a couple anymore.

6 no-gos at the end

1. Don't shy away from it for too long

Always nervous when you're with your partner? You find reasons not to meet him?

Even your love life suffers? But you don't find the courage to break up properly?

Do you even have hopes that if you continue like this, your partner will end the relationship and you don't have to do it?

Unfortunately, it is that's not a good idea. Your partner is likely to become suspicious, which doesn't mean they'll break up.

The only thing you get is two unhappy people in a relationship with no trust.

That's worse than any breakup talk.

2. Don't be too nice about the breakup

Of course it's hard to see when someone is suffering, especially when it's someone who meant a lot to us, but you must always remember this is already your ex.

Hugging him, comforting him may seem normal, but the relationship between you two is different now and you have to be careful not to give him false hopes.< /p>

Also, don't make any promises you don't want to or can't keep. You don't have to be the one who will comfort him, his friends will definitely do it.

3. Don't say “I still love you but…”

Nothing sends more mixed signals than breaking up with someone and then telling them I still love you but…. Same with I still have feelings for you, but…

Believe me, they hear the “but” part not. Even if they hear it, they don't find it important.

The only important thing at this moment is that you talk about feelings and love.

Of course your feelings don't go away overnight, but about them with your ex-partner talking about the breakup, especially about love, can only bring trouble.

4. Don't let yourself be blackmailed

If you've ever loved me, give me one more chance, If you do that, I'll hurt myself…”

Yes, unfortunately, hardly any breakup is easy, but some are even worse than most.

If you hear such words from your ex-partner, there can actually only be one reason be more to end the relationship. You should not allow emotional blackmail.

The only thing you can do here is to warn someone close to your ex-partner if you think they could really harm themselves.

If you know that your ex-partner is more of a sensitive person and will not cope well with the breakup, then you can talk to his best friend or close acquaintance.

They should then wait for him and fü r be there after you break up with him.

5. “We can stay friends”

If your ex makes such a suggestion, don't say, try or promise.

Yes, sometime in the future it is possible for the two of you to be friends, but now is not the time.

If you two continue to check in regularly, spends time together, maybe even going to the movies or to dinner, you haven't really broken up. You do everything that couples do together.

You just prolong the separation, which doesn't do anyone any good. Now it's time to love yourself and rebuild your own life.

And most importantly, how do you picture yourself finding new love if you're always hanging out with your ex? 😉

6. No ghosting

So that's an absolute no-go when you're done. Disappearing without explanation and ignoring every attempt at contact is definitely disrespectful.

Or another trend: separation agencies. Hiring someone to break up with you may be worse than cutting contact without speaking.

I'm pretty sure your partner doesn't deserve this.

Think of the time together, all the beautiful moments between you two, all the little things he did for you and remember, you chose this person as your partner, not someone else, and therefore you should break up with them too.


Divorce is never easy. Whatever our reasons for breaking up, the fact is that an important part of our lives has come to an end.

Of course it's hard for us.

If we then think about how our partner will be, it's even more complicated.

Someone who meant the world to us is likely to be hurt, even though that's not our intention.

We can try to find a workaround, such as waiting until the partner draws the final line.

But that's not a good solution, since we thereby staying in an unhappy relationship for too long.

A respectful end to a relationship is best for both partners. An honest, direct, and personal ending is something the person we loved deserves.

And it's easier for us to move on, too, knowing that we do too in the relationship did our best in the end.

By the way for you: These 6 zodiac signs are the worst breakers! 

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