A soul full of grief: depressed partner and how to deal with him

A soul full of grief: Depressed partner and how to deal with him

Every person goes through certain stages of life in which they get into great grief and all their feelings want to banish.

There are times when we hate our lives until a glimmer of hope appears that propels us forward and gives us the strength to embrace life with open arms.

These conditions are mostly our body's reaction to some life difficulty that has happened to us.

It can be the death or loss of a loved one, loss of a job, and the like. In situations where we face life difficulties, it is most normal to feel sad, worried or scared.

It is a condition that passes after a certain period of time that a person needs. necessary to adapt to a new situation.

The length of time it takes to adapt varies from person to person, depending on many factors, but also on how and to what extent. you struggle with the situation that is the cause of your mood, sadness or concern.

But in any case, after a period of time, one returns to one's usual state and continues one's life.

On the other hand, depression is a serious illness that significantly disrupts daily life and which needs to be treated. A state of depression is not a passing phase or mood in response to a life difficulty.

When the sadness occurs for no reason, barely stops, reappears for no reason, when the person cannot relax, is preoccupied with dark thoughts, has no strength and will to connect with people, has no energy, to get out of bed it is mostly depression.

The most basic characteristics of this disease are bad mood, sadness, depression, hopelessness, listlessness, self-doubt, sleep – or loss of appetite, feelings of anxiety and, in the worst case, suicidal thoughts.

Do you suspect that your partner is depressed?

Having a depressed partner takes a lot of strength and patience.

When you see the person you love in pain and suffering while your hands are tied and you are unable to help him, this affects you significantly.

Relationships can be complicated even when both partners are mentally and physically healthy. However, when a person becomes depressed, even if the relationship was previously very stable, it can significantly affect the dynamics of the relationship.

It can be quite difficult to understand what is going through the partner's mind and their mood swings and accepting sudden coldness.

It's not just about learning to accept that, it's also about balancing helping and caring for your partner and trying to to stay sane.

That's why below you'll find everything you need to know about depression, as well as useful advice on how to deal with the big gray cloud that hangs over your life.

Depressive partner: The h&auml ;Common Warning Signs

If you're not sure if your partner is depressed, start by looking at the most common symptoms of depression.

Sometimes it's difficult to recognize depression because it doesn't come on suddenly, but slowly takes hold of its victim and drains their soul and body.

Your partner may just be going through a crisis, having problems that he might not want to talk about, or something similar that makes him seem sad, tired and anxious.

If however, if the following symptoms occur more frequently, alarm bells should ring:

1. Mood swings

Depressed mood in people with illness differs from normal sadness, and depressed people typically feel hopelessness and deep emotional pain.

Mood swings vary from normal to sad to tense and anxious.

Even the face and facial expressions convey an image of pain, distress and fear. If your partner suddenly experiences severe mood swings, this may be the first sign that they are suffering from depression.

2. Dispassion and passivity

Your partner used to do a lot of sports and even got up every morning before work to go for a run and was always fit?

He pursued various hobbies and activities and was always on the ball? Now he spends most of his time in front of the screen, playing video games or sleeping?

For depressed people, even daily chores like washing dishes, laundry or cleaning become too strenuous and they feel so overwhelmed that they can't do any of them.

It is not uncommon for a depressed person to not even be able to go to work and prefers to stay in bed.

The transition from an active to a passive person and the loss of the will to do things , which once brought joy to a person indicate a depressive phase.

3. Negativity and pessimism

Depression affects people by drawing them into a world of negative thoughts and fears from which they cannot easily shake off.

Therefore depressed sufferers, although once energetic, risk-taking and positive, easily become the greatest pessimists.

They shut themselves out and withdraw into themselves because depression creates unrealistic fears and expectations about the world around them and they lose all hope for a better tomorrow and improvement.

< p>If your partner keeps talking about possible negative outcomes, worries, problems and the like, and if he has never been like this before, it is probably about depression.

4. No contact with other people

You used to wait for the weekend to take a trip into town or hang out with friends?

Your partner used to go out with his buddies for a beer or to watch sports games and now he prefers to stay at home and avoids the company of other people?

He even avoids contact with his family? This is not only hurtful for his friends and family, but also for you, because there may be times when he doesn't want to spend time with you either.

The thing is, depressed people get too caught up in their world of black thoughts and they just want to be alone and indulge their thoughts.

5. Loss of sleep and appetite

Depression even affects bodily functions. Typically it is a loss of appetite, but in some cases depression can also manifest itself as increased appetite and weight gain.

Sleep disorders are also common. Almost 80 percent of those affected complain of sleep disorders, especially waking up early.

They often find themselves waking up several times during the night and then having trouble falling asleep again.


If your partner has suddenly lost weight and looks exhausted and tired, they are probably struggling with these symptoms of depression.

6. Lack of concentration

Many depressed people have trouble concentrating or have trouble thinking.

They often feel that they are unable to study effectively or get through work and even daily activities.

In severe cases, sufferers cannot even watch television, while some may not even be able to remember common daily activities.

For example, women cannot cook and such a condition can resemble dementia.

If you find that your partner has trouble concentrating and even the simplest daily tasks are difficult for him, it is this is a big red flag.

7. Listlessness and Indifference

One of the problems that most affects a relationship with a depressed person is that the depressed partner acts cold and callous.

Out of great infatuation comes indifference and the partner of a depressed person feels bad, suffers from a lack of self-confidence because they feel unattractive and undesirable.

It can It can happen that the sufferer loses his passion and desire for sexual intercourse, which will definitely negatively affect the relationship if the correct diagnosis is not made in time for the sufferer’s partner to have an understanding of such behavior.< /p>

8. Low Self-Esteem

Because depressed people are preoccupied with negative thoughts, they also develop a negative self-image.

On the other hand, it can a lack of self-confidence can be one of several triggers for depression combined with mental instability, so it can be said that a lack of self-confidence and depression often go hand in hand.

With a person suffering from depression one often hears statements like: You are better than me, I am worth nothing, my life has no meaning, etc.

Tips for dealing with depressed partner

The partner of a depressed person has a difficult task ahead of them: finding a way to help their loved one and also maintaining their own mental health.

It is not uncommon for a partner to struggle with feelings of guilt, wondering if they are the one who caused their partner to behave in this way, driving them into this state of depression.

< p>What you need to know is that your partner’s behavior is not your fault and that depression can have multiple triggers.

Some people even have a genetic, innate predisposition for it development of depression. Depression can affect anyone and is not a sign of weakness.

Likewise, heavy losses, troubled relationships, financial problems, or stressful (unwanted) life changes can trigger a depressive episode.

Very often, a combination of genetic, psychological, and external factors play a role a role in the development of depression.

Although men are less prone to depression than women, more than one in eight Germans suffers from this disease every year.

Men have a harder time admitting they are depressed and, as a result, doctors have a harder time making a diagnosis.

Depressed men are less likely to express feelings of hopelessness and helplessness , but rather irritability, anger, and discouragement. It is therefore difficult to identify depression in such men.

Even if a man realizes that he is depressed, he will seek help less often than a woman.

Encouraging and supporting caring family members can be powerful and help people understand depression as a real illness and accept that it needs treatment.

And the good news is that it treats can be achieved if the symptoms are recognized in good time. Of course it's not as easy as treating the flu, but there is still hope for recovery.

These are some of the things you can do to offer your partner the greatest support in tackling their pain and to let the sun shine on your life again:

< h3>1. Talk to him

The more of these listed symptoms apply, the more likely it is that your partner is suffering from depression. The first thing you need to do before taking the initiative is to be open and honest with him.

He will probably refuse to talk about it because he will feel embarrassed, but seeing through the conversation that you are full of love and support can open him up and over talk about his problem.

Don't try the usual advice like: Cheer up, It's only half bad, There are worse things in life, Reiß you together, you have no reason to be unhappy etc.

It works the same as saying to someone who has the flu and a coldStop blowing your nose now, it's not as bad as you think it is.

Depression is serious and the first step in treating it is it to find the problem and talk to your partner with love and support.

2. Accept the situation

Yes, it's hard to accept such a situation and learn to deal with this big gray haze in life and all that the depression brings, but if you want to help your partner, you have to do it.< /p>

There are many people who deny depression and don't classify it as an illness because they don't understand the seriousness of the situation.

They often equate it with sadness and disappointment, without being aware of how much it affects the sufferer and everyone around them.

That's why it's important not to deny it. It is important that you do not whitewash the situation and do not try to hide it from relatives and friends, for example.

Inform yourself well about the disease. You can discuss this on online forums with people who have had a problem similar to yours, or by speaking to an expert.

It is all the more important that you don't blame your partner for it. r hold his behavior responsible.

Sometimes the fact that you can't get close to him, that you can't read what's in his head and that he seems so distant will drive you insane, but if you still blame him for it, you can only make the situation worse.

As hard as it may sound, remember that this is not your partner, it is the demon of depression in his body and he is not responsible for it responsible.

Remember why you love him and why he is special to make everything easier to deal with.

3. Seek Professional Help

Don't play substitute therapist and don't be afraid to seek professional help. Depression does not heal on its own and the sufferer needs to seek treatment.

It can also be a difficult situation when the depressed partner refuses to seek treatment, which is common.


You can hear statements like: That's nonsense, I'm fineetc., but you have to know that it's not true. Motivate your partner to seek treatment.

Also, surround yourself with close people who you trust and who you can tell what's happening.

They may also be able to get your partner to do it to agree to see a doctor and ease the situation.

There are also many support groups and these are some of the contacts and sites where you can find help for your partner but also for yourself :

? Knowledge, self-test and addresses on the subject of depression: www.deutsche-depressionshilfe.de

• Germany-wide depression information line 0800 33 44 5 33 (free of charge)

• Advice and exchange for relatives: Federal Association of Relatives of Mentally Ill Persons www.bapk.de

• Support Group Anxiety – panic – Depression for those affected and their families: www.shg-apd.de . .

4. Be there for him

In good times and bad, through wind and storm, through winter and cold. When we love someone, we are ready to be there for them, even when the greatest crisis hits us.

Now is the time to prove how strong and large is your love for your partner and standing shoulder to shoulder with them as they struggle to get out of the hell of depression.

Let him know that he can count on your help even when things are at their worst.

There will be many moments when your power dwindles and you want to give up , but remember that while you can choose to go through the crisis with them, your partner did not choose to fall into this state.

Talk to him, listen to him, hug him and tell him that everything will be fine and that you understand him, because with the power of love everything is a little bit easier.

5. Remind him of the positive things in his life

Because people suffering from depression often develop the idea that their life is not worth living, it takes something to help to convince her otherwise.

I'm sure you and your partner had a lot of nice moments and a lot of fun; together.

remind him. Better times when he was positive and full of energy. Not in the sense of pitying him and blaming him for not being as full of life now as he was before.

But in the sense that by talking to him you can give him an interesting or funny mention an event from your past. For example: Remember when we were late for the bus and ran and you crashed into the man handing out flyers?

Or some moments that are special for both of you. You can show him pictures of trips you've taken together, your wedding if you're married, christenings, family reunions, and the like.

Of course, this won't cure the depression right away, but it will improve his mood significantly and show him that he still has something to look forward to and that his life is full and beautiful.

6. Don't let his depression affect you

This is also the most difficult task. How can you stay sane and not fall into this cycle of depression alone?

It's difficult to maintain such great optimism and be strong for your partner because sometimes it seems like when this negativity wants to suck you up like a vacuum cleaner too.

In order not to fall into this trap, it is important that you continue with your life as usual. Still doing work, going out with your friends, pursuing your hobbies, etc.

This will help you take your mind off the problem, but also keep you alert and patient.

You need to replenish your energy levels to have enough for you and your partner.

And remember the most important thing; You are not responsible for his condition, under no circumstances should you blame yourself and think that you had something to do with it.

It can also happen that he is indifferent and it seems that he doesn't love you anymore, which can hurt you a lot and as a result you lose your self-confidence, but you must not forget how valuable you are and among the influence of his depression.

You must be strong for both of you!

Conclusion:Depression is a widespread mental disorder with the most common symptoms being sadness, anxiety, lethargy, fatigue, poor concentration and, in the most severe cases, suicidal thoughts.

Depression is not a joke and should be be taken seriously and one should recognize their symptoms in order to be able to react in time.

Relatives of depressive people therefore also face a great challenge and must also learn to deal with it, because it affects their life a lot, especially when it comes to a depressed partner.

It's up to you to be a support and help in difficult times.

It It is also important for a depressed partner to be aware of this and, with the support of those around them, to seek treatment to make them feel better.

Finally, I want you just say that you are brave and patient be, not give up and keep fighting on the way to new hope and happiness.

Anyway, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and wish you the best of luck!< /p>

Rate article