Not in a million years could I have imagined me Losing so much in another person until you came into my life. You were everything to me.
I would have gone to the ends of the earth just to make you happy. Because happiness consumed me when we started dating.
Everything we had seemed so surreal, like a dream I didn't want to wake up from. As it turned out, it was indeed just a dream and unfortunately I had no choice but to wake up.
And when reality hit me, it felt like those dreams were history and I woke up from my worst nightmare.
That's what you for me it was the most beautiful dream and the worst nightmare.
I've often heard stories about people changing, about something rotten inside them and they can hide it for a long time, but that it has to show up eventually.
You have made me a believer and a teller of these terrible stories.
You said you love me, but you never knew how to love. You loved with a love so poisonous it almost ate me from the inside.
I couldn't see it then, but I see it clearly now; you were like a puppeteer pulling all the strings. You had the right words.
You knew exactly what to say and how to say it to get under my skin and make me do things your way.
Your manipulative skills were way out there of my field as I had never met anyone like you.
You mixed the good with the bad so skillfully and naturally that I had no idea what was going on until it was all over.
Nothing was ever your fault; you made me take the blame for things I knew weren't my fault.
When you lost your temper and yelled at me, that was my fault too, I made you do it. I was responsible for annoying you.
You screamed and screamed and for a moment made me feel like the smallest, most insignificant being on this planet and the next time you found excuses for your behavior and downplayed everything that happened.
You would say anything instead of admitting it's your fault. Apologizing was never something you were comfortable with.
It has always been easier for me to give in and forgive. Until I couldn't anymore.
Until one day I decided enough was enough and I had to escape the hell I lived in with you.
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I still loved you, but I had no choice but to draw the line and put myself first.
You made me forget how to do it. I forgot to love, respect and appreciate myself.
I am rebuilding myself brick by brick, day by day, no matter how long it takes. I want to be the best version of myself.
I want a normal and healthy relationship when I'm ready.
I want someone to kiss me instead of drowning me in tears.
All my feelings belonged you, but it was time they came back to me. It's my turn to be truly happy and I know you have no place in my life if I want to achieve that.
So thanks for showing me what i'm made of Thank you for showing me that I am stronger than I thought.
For leaving you required the power I didn't know I had. Thank you for teaching me how love should never be.
Thank you for allowing me to see the right thing when it finally comes my way.
I don't want you back, I just want to say thank you and goodbye. You are no longer a part of me or a part of my life and you have no place in my heart.
