Playing victim is a form of emotional manipulation that men use, so you stay with them to break you or just because they genuinely believe they are the victim.
It's a form of manipulation that we quite often ignore because some men’ nner really have very convincing stories in store and also the question arises, why a victim can be a manipulator at all?
But it's still manipulation, so keep an eye out for these signs and excuses he might be using on you.
1. Every one of his exes was a slut
Every single one of them broke his heart, cheated on him or lied to him. It was never his fault, he was just a naive boy who was just madly in love.
He uses this sacrificial splint to make you stay with him and make you think it's your job, his heart.
But how can someone always be so unlucky and only have sluts for ex-girlfriends?
All of their previous relationships had one thing in common and it wasn't bad luck. He was the problem.
2. You always attack him
No matter what you say, what you do or how you approach him, he always feels like you are attacking him attack.
You're having a great run at work – you're only doing it so you can leave him or because you want to show him that you're better than him and that he's just a dumb boy.
You're trying to tell him something that bothers you ;rt – you're just doing it to show him that you're superior to him, he never wanted to hurt you, how could he? After all, he is the victim.
3. He unloads all his problems on you
He uses you as his trash can. The entire universe is conspiring against him like he's been cursed. When he gets a ticket for parking wrongly, he says: “A policeman gave me a ticket”.
It is impossible for him to take responsibility for a parking ticket ;r to take over his actions. It's NEVER his fault.
Like I said before, the whole universe hates him. Of all the 7 billion people in the world, he is so special.
That's why he needs someone to blow off steam and pat his head while he tells his sad life story.
In this case, the person he uses is you without asking about your condition and without considering how all of this is affecting your mood or state of mind.
It's bad for your health if you constantly hang out with of other people's negativity.
4. He turns small incidents into fights
It's easier to play the victim when you're the one being yelled at. His way of dealing with trifles is to provoke you into freaking out so he can play the victim again (whereas he could just apologize, but that would mean taking responsibility for it). ;r would have to take over one of his deeds).
After a while you start to wonder if you're the one not controlling your anger and if you're wrong. Maybe he is trying really hard and you are always acting like a witch yourself?
My love, take a look at your relationship. He could also just be manipulating you into getting away with the things he's done.
5. He doesn't seem to understand why nobody is rushing to help him
Poor boy, why isn't there anyone by his side? Why are your friends always on your side and supporting you and his not?
Maybe that's because they know him a little better than you know him.
Maybe his friends know he's better off getting out of his ”problems” to keep out. Maybe your friends will like and respect you for who you are instead of stabbing you in the back.
He will try to use this against you to make you feel guilty because you are not on his side anymore and because he doesn't have a single friend and you have so many.
You become so much to him of your time until you no longer have your own private life.
6. He NEVER feels obligated to apologize
Because he is never at fault for anything. Only when he has learned to take responsibility for his actions will you be able to develop within the relationship.
I know; not like you, but if I don’t get an honest apology for something that really bothers me, then I can’t forget about it.
You're spinning in the Kreis because he refuses to apologize and wants to convince you that you are the culprit and not him.
How long will it take for you to fully engage in this manipulation ? How long will it take for him to completely break you up, for you to finally become one of his nasty exes too?