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You know that queasy feeling in your stomach and that particular kind of fear that eats you up but you want to ignore?
Well, that's what your narcissist feeds on, that's what keeps them going Life. This gives him the strength to use you like this and abuse you.
Most empaths and highly sensitive people feel this fear and uneasiness-it is their intuition telling them that they should leave as soon as possible.
But due to their extremely sensitive personality, they choose to ignore their intuition and they get sucked into the narcissist's spider web.
They continue to believe that they can change the narcissist. They continue to believe that if they try hard enough and try to understand him, then they will find a solution and can return to the bright side of life.
Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Once trapped in a narcissistic relationship, it is almost impossible to escape.
One becomes addicted to the narcissist. You're scared all the time because he creates that fear.
You're scared of leaving him because he makes you feel incapable, the to end relationship. It makes you feel worthless.
He makes you think you're not worth loving. He makes you think the problem is you.
But if you find the courage to leave him, if you realize there is no other way and if you don't care , which will happen if you leave him, then he will do everything in his power to win you back.
He will put on the mask he was wearing when you saw this met for the first time. He will take care of you.
He will convince you that he has your back no matter what. He will even apologize for all the bad things he did to you.
He will act like he cares because he cares about you doesn’t want to lose.
Sadly, he doesn’t really care about you. He doesn’t want to lose you because otherwise he will lose his perfect little victim. He will lose the elixir that keeps him alive – you.
When you left him you thought the nightmare was over. But no, he went even further. First of all, there is a battle that you fight in your heart and in your mind.
You have to pick up the broken pieces and put them back together. You have to convince yourself that you are not worthless and that you deserve better.
You are trying to regain your confidence and respect for yourself. He took all of that from you.
He has left you empty and broken and you know that your fight for survival has only just begun.
Not only do you have to deal with yourself and heal your wounds, you also have to deal with yourself mess with him.
He will ambush you and attack you if you drop your cover. He will try to lull you back into your weakest moment. You'll never see it coming.
He will play with your feelings and try to make up with you. He will try to lure you back to him.
This is called the hoovering method.
Hoovering is a technique used by emotional psychopaths, Sociopaths and narcissists use it to suck the life out of you and pull you back into the relationship that you could hardly escape from by adopting a desired behavior is laid.
Here are the most common arguments narcissists give to women trying to lure them back into a relationship:
1. ”I really want us to be friends”
This happens in the case of fling, when you catch him cheating on you or he does admits it voluntarily.
Don't worry, they will leave you and make up a thousand reasons why things didn't work out with you two.
They will reassure you that you weren't made for each other and that you couldn't give them the love they needed.
You'll probably feel guilty because that's what the was their tactic all along.
After some time they will come back to you and say that they can't live without you, that they made a big mistake, but they won't talk about how they told you they don't love you.
However, they will assure you that they cannot live without you and that they want you in their life, at least as a friend.
In reality, they are afraid that someone something else will come into your life and win your heart.
Then they would look like losers and that won't happen.
So they bait you with the phrase &ldquo ;Let's stay friends,' which is never true.
In the end you are friends with benefits and that way he will always be a part of your life and you can't close the whole thing.
Or another scenario happens: they tell’ tell everyone that you stayed friends because they felt sorry for you even though you told everyone he was a narcissistic jerk.
But it's not her fault, not at all. They are the ones who indicate that they are doing a noble deed. This is how they want to present themselves.
2. “I want to go to couples therapy”
When you are fed up with him and almost ready to leave him after he has stopped talking to you, he will present another trick from his bag of tricks.
He will pretend to be sad and hurt and admit that he needs help and that he will go to therapy.< /p>
Of course, this is just a trick to manipulate you – a precisely engineered mind game to drive you insane.
No, he doesn't want this to work out between you two, he doesn’t want to become a better person either, because he doesn’t even think there is anything wrong with him.
He only does it to buy himself more time. He will even go to therapy with you and present himself there as the good guy. He'll somehow frame you as the culprit.
He will act like he is the one who wants to keep the relationship going despite all the trouble you are causing him.
3. “I ran into her the last time we broke up”
He will make excuses if you catch him cheating.
He will try to convince you that he met a woman while you were apart and now she just won't leave him alone.
He will tell you that he will try everything, but that she still won't give up.
Or he will blame you again and say that he was involved with the person because you didn't care took care of him, leaving him feeling lonely and hurt.
That's just an excuse for catching him cheating.
He wants to appear as a helpless being who just needed someone to love him because you didn't.
He will use these opportunities to fool you and make you believe things that aren't real and that destroy your self esteem. He wants you to doubt yourself.
His goal is to make you feel like you are not trying hard enough and that you are unwanted, therefore cheated ;he greets you. He'll make you believe it's not his fault.
You will question yourself. You'll be bothered by the fact that she was with him and you weren't.
That probably means there's something wrong with you. You will end up believing that the narcissist is not like that and that you are missing your only chance for true happiness.
This is the tactic they will use again and again. He will brainwash you as much as he likes. power.
4. “I'm an idiot for hurting you.”
All narcissists love this mind game. He will show up at your door with flowers and beg you to forgive him.
He will admit that he was mean to you and that you deserve so much more.
< p>He will assure you that he will never treat you so badly again. He will even cry if necessary.
And you fall for his bullshit as a compassionate idiot and no one can blame you for it. He's the perfect actor.
No one can fake feelings like a narcissist. They're so good at lying that they even believe their own lies for a moment.
You forget everything he's ever done to you and you give him another chance, because you're sure you'll grow old together. You really believe that this is all behind you now. You think he has changed.
In reality, narcissists see this situation from a very different perspective.
Once you demand respect from them, they will pretend to be completely normal for a few days, making you forget what is going on in the happened in the past.
Once you start behaving the way they want it to, it will go back to how it used to be.
5. “I finally realized that you are the one”
They will lie that they had an epiphany. They'll tell you that all of a sudden, on their way home from work, they realized they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with you.
They realized that you be meant for each other. They even want to marry you, the sooner the better.
This is just ridiculous. It's just one of the many tactics you can use to avoid noticing what's really going on.
They will do everything in their power to make you believe in things that don't exist.
They will blind you to their behavior. They will make you believe everything is your fault.