No matter how old you are or how much relationship experience you have, the fact is that many people don't know exactly what true love is.
Our hearts and minds play with us, convincing us that our wrong choice is in fact true love.
Don't worry, this is not uncommon. However, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't learn to distinguish between a toxic relationship and a genuine connection with another human being.
At first glance, one might think that these two concepts are unrelated. Unfortunately, it's incredibly easy to confuse one with the other.
So here are 4 key points that make all the difference.
1. Selflessness vs Egocentric
When you have a healthy relationship with someone, there is no room for selfishness.
No, it doesn't mean that you have to love this person more than yourself. But their needs also play an important role.
You want them to be happy, and you could never smile when he cries.
You two are a team and you share everything. This includes compromise and both of you are willing to make some sacrifices for the sake of your partner.
On the other hand, when we speak of a toxic relationship, you are self-centered. The only thing that matters to both of you is your own needs.
A toxic partner doesn't care about the consequences of their actions. He doesn’t give a damn if his behavior hurts you as long as he’s fine and happy.
He only thinks about himself and you are on his Priority list nowhere to be found. Instead of pushing you, this man plays against you.
Instead of admiring your achievements, he is intimidated by them.
2. Serenity vs Butterflies
”The Buddhists say that if you meet someone and your heart is pounding, your hands are shaking, your knees are weak, then they are not the right one. When you meet your "soulmate" meet you will feel relaxed. Without fear, without excitement.” – Monica Drake
Well, this quote pretty much sums up one of the key differences between a real connection and a toxic relationship. Unfortunately, many people are wrong here.
You think you've found your soulmate when you get dizzy every time he looks at you and you can feel butterflies throwing a real party in your stomach.< /p>
You feel this unbearable excitement that you can't control no matter how hard you try.
However, that is probably a sign of a toxic relationship. Because behind all these feelings there is usually fear, doubt and general restlessness.
On the other hand, when you meet the love of your life, you will feel at peace. For the first time in your life you will feel completely relaxed.
You will know that you have found your sanctuary and home. You will know that you belong with him.
3. Support vs codependency
Being in a relationship with a toxic man brings with it emotional dependency.
You feel like you couldn't live without this person and that your life would be completely meaningless, if you lost him somehow.
Because that's exactly what your partner wants. He wants you to think that he gives meaning to your existence and that he is your only goal in this life.
On the contrary, if it's the right one, you won't need this man by your side.
But you will make a conscious decision to give it a place in your life and you will want it there.
< p>He will be your greatest support and the wind under your wings. Someone who will inspire you to be better and lead you on the path to independence.
This man won't feel threatened when he sees you starting your own business. Instead, he'll be proud of your strength and power.
He won't do anything to make you dependent on him, which a toxic friend would certainly try to do.
Instead, the two of you will grow into two healthy individuals who complement each other without being dependent on each other.
4. Happiness vs Sadness
You have to fight for true love – there is no doubt about that. Anyone who tells you it doesn’t require much effort and strength is probably lying.
The fact is, not all of the pieces of your puzzle can magically fall into place without that you lift a finger.
True love is not a pony farm. Every relationship has its ups and downs.
No matter how much you and your partner love each other, you're bound to have bad days from time to time.
Nonetheless, one should real connection with another person makes you happy. A toxic relationship, on the other hand, makes you mostly unhappy.
You don't feel well, you feel sad and it brings you more suffering than real joy.
So if you're still in doubt about which category your relationship falls into, just ask yourself this simple question: Am I happy or sad most of the time?
It's that easy to get all the answers you need.