I refuse to apologize for finally putting myself first

I refuse to apologize for finally putting myself first

You know what's the funniest thing about our breakup was? That you actually had the nerve to say that you're the broken one, that you're hurt. 

You had the nerve to say that I passed you by and left without ever to look back.

I wish it had been, I wish I'd done it like you told everyone.  

I wish I would be evil, but I'm not. For months you emaciated me, for months you took everything you wanted from me.

I was willing to give you everything I had because I believed in it at least you would love me too. And now you're the injured one. 

But guess what? I refuse to apologize for finally putting myself first. 

I refuse to apologize for finally realizing my worth.

For finally realizing that I'm so much more than just your girlfriend, that I'm so much more than just someone to dance around and please you.&nbsp ;

I also deserve so much more than all the pain you put me through. I deserve that silly kind of love that warms your heart, makes you weak in the knees, and sends you into a blissful rush.

I deserve that silly kind of love that makes you can't get rid of your goofy grin I deserve love, but you gave me none of it. 

I refuse to apologize for finally being on my own two feet again.

For finally standing up to you, for finally giving up hope that you will change, because it took me too long to realize that you never will . 

I refuse to apologize for finally finding the inner strength I thought was gone.

For rediscovering the old me somewhere deep inside, even though it felt like you had destroyed it. 

< p>For finally leaving this toxic relationship when I should have done it long ago. I refuse to apologize for falling in love with myself.

Somebody had to do it if you refused. When you couldn't see the beauty of my mind and heart, I did. 

When you couldn't see how beautiful I am, I had to. And now you're the injured one. 

You've had me for far too long, but you've only seen the use you've had of me.

You could only see all the ways I could boost your ego and make fun of me again.

Not even did you asked you if i would like to be kissed like there was no tomorrow. Not once have you asked yourself if I want to feel beautiful next to you. 

Not once did you wonder if maybe, just maybe, I'm the hurt one. I refuse to apologize for finally making my choice. 

For the first time in such a long time, for the first time after meeting you met, for the first time after telling you that I love you, I choose myself.

For the first time, I choose my needs, my sanity and for my heart, not for yours. 

And for the first time I feel so damn good. I feel like I can do anything; like I could write a whole book in a week.

I feel like I can jump out of an airplane. I feel alive, a feeling I haven't had in a very long time.

I refuse to apologize for putting my needs before yours< /b>. I refuse to apologize for something I should have done long ago.

Apologies for leaving you, for losing what I have left was left, saved. I refuse to apologize for rebuilding myself. 

The only person I should apologize to is myself for not doing it before.

Because I'm really sorry that I stayed with you in hopes that you would change.

I'm sorry that I told you everything gave and got nothing. That I loved you more than myself, only so that you could then throw that love away. 

For making you a priority when for you I was only a second choice was.

Well, I refuse to apologize for finally putting myself first because no one else will do that for me.

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