Dmitry Iskhakov and Polina Gagarina
In May 2020, rumors appeared in the press about the separation of Polina Gagarina and Dmitry Iskhakov. At the end of last year, the couple officially filed for divorce, but still cannot finally agree on many issues, including those related to custody of their common daughter Mia. Polina herself has never publicly commented on the separation from her husband: she refuses to communicate with journalists and give interviews on this topic. But her ex-husband Dmitry Iskhakov nevertheless decided to have a frank conversation. He became the new hero of Ksenia Sobchak's YouTube show “Beware, Sobchak!” and shared his views on parting with his wife and told how their relationship is developing after the breakup. Spletnik has collected the most interesting quotes from this conversation in a new interview.
About the beginning of the novel and marriage
At the time when we met, I was already an accomplished photographer. And Polina invited me to shoot something – we worked together. A year or two has passed. We got back together once again and started dating. We did not meet for very long, by the way: several months. I never had a fix idea: to get married, have children, and I must go through this whole program. But when I met Polina – I was already 35 years old – I really wanted to start a family with her. I fell in love, she was in love too. We were still best friends. I found a friend in her, and she – in me. I think so, I don't want to speak for her. And we were really friends, looked in one direction, were light, young. At that time, there was neither Eurovision, nor The Voice, nor a Chinese project (we are talking about the Chinese vocal competition Singer, where Polina took part in 2019. – Ed.).
Polina Gagarina and Dmitry Iskhakov
About the first problems in marriage
At some point, our life rushed very quickly. Probably, it happened after Eurovision (Polina Gagarina took part in the contest in 2015. – Ed.) – it was a trigger, I think so now. I was always with her in Austria. Polina has always been at the forefront – she is a famous and popular artist – and in this case, home support is very necessary. You burn out, give a lot to the audience, but then you return home, and you also need to work with you somehow. And it was a thrill for me. I took it all as a common matter. I put my career on pause, because it seemed to me that we are friends, we love each other, we are a family, and we are doing one thing. I felt that Pauline needed me. I was with her everywhere: backstage, concerts, negotiations, montage. Helped and participated. I can't say that someone forced me to do this: I wanted it myself, it was interesting to me.
Over time, our values and priorities began to diverge. I suddenly discovered in myself some kind of passion and love for the family. I suddenly saw that I am a family man, and I like it. And an artist at this level lives on the road, on stage, in studios and in constant motion. It did not happen overnight and overnight. Everything was gradual. Somewhere we almost kept track – you are aware of it, you do not analyze it.
We did the same thing together. Honestly, I don't take on a bigger role than the one I played, but I think it was a shared story. I see it this way, but maybe she will say it differently. This is a serious emotional and energetic contribution. I really dedicated myself to this, but I do not regret anything, I am grateful, there are many wonderful memories. Now I think that maybe it shouldn't have been done. Maybe it was not necessary to dissolve so much. It's kind of a trap in general. But when you love a person and are passionate about, when you have a common cause and interest, you do not really think about it. It's like asking for a certificate of sexually transmitted diseases before having sex.
On the distribution of the budget in the family
Our family was a shape-shifter in this sense. For our country, this is not very traditional – I understand this – but I did not have a complex on this score. I always earned well, and I was not a gigolo. I didn’t feel like some kind of application, it wasn’t. I earned enough to respect myself and support my family. This question did not arise. We had some common expenses, some separate expenses. But there was no such question, no one kept records. It never happened like this: he pays or she pays. I have always been involved in all this: as for the upbringing of children, and the holidays. I am embarrassed that everyone is interested, but to bend my fingers and list what I participated in and what I did not, is somehow unworthy.
On courts and division of property
We did not sue for money. When you get divorced, there are many things to discuss and decide. I did not move out of the apartment, this is my apartment. We lived in different places, but this is my apartment, Polina has her own apartments. Until we have agreed on all issues, and the point has not been put, it would be wrong for me to comment on all this publicly. If people cannot agree, then the person either goes to court or does not go. I'm not going to do that. We can say that I got out of this marriage only with what I earned myself.
About the scandal with the leave and the child
I care who my child is resting with. At least I wanted to be introduced or to know those people with whom my daughter will rest. First, there was an acute period at that moment. We recently parted ways, and at first it is always difficult. I am a man – I can blurt out something, do something. But I do not admit that it was a mistake. Maybe I wouldn't do that now. Mia (daughter of Polina and Dmitry. – Ed.) Is very tied to me: we are in very close and close contact. And it seems to me that as a dad I deserve some respect from my mother, and I should show interest and participation. I am not opposed to my daughter flying to rest with her mother in the company of someone, but I am opposed to the presence of people whom I do not know at all.
Polina is a separate and independent person, and she has every right to privacy: with anyone, anytime, to live, travel, meet. There is one thing: if it concerns our common beloved child, I care. I want to be sure that the person who will be next to him is at least not dangerous. If, for example, I take my daughter and some conditional friend and fly with them to rest, Polina will not turn a blind eye to this for sure. I am sure about that. Moreover, I understand that. We, of course, did not discuss this, but I know myself and I know the situation.
Dmitry Iskhakov and Polina Gagarina with children
On the initiative in divorce
We both left many times, slammed doors, parted, converged. When you have been living with a person for many years (Polina and Dmitry have lived together for seven years. – Ed.), Gradually you should start working on this. We must try to cut in some internal reserves. It seems to me that you always need to use all the last chances and only then give up. I think that at that time we could still work on it. Maybe it wouldn't work. Now time has passed, and you look at it with a cooler head. I think we told each other everything and gave everything we could give. I didn't want some kind of renaissance and trying. We went through this, it also gave us something. We got into new circumstances and learned a lot.
I also do not relieve myself of responsibility. Actually, two people dance tango. Maybe somewhere I didn’t give up, I should have taken care of myself more. I have certainly lost myself.
On the court for custody of the daughter
In preparation interviews in the press, the news appeared that Dmitry Iskhakov sued his ex-spouse in order to establish a procedure for communication with their common daughter Mia. Despite the fact that Iskhakov had previously stated that he was not going to go to court, he had exhausted the possibilities to come to an agreement with Polina and was forced to act through lawyers. Immediately before the release of the interview, Ksenia once again met with Dmitry to clarify the situation.
The first person to say that lawyers are needed was Polina. God knows, I tried to get around it many times. He said that we can discuss and decide in a civilized and human way. She said that we will only speak through lawyers. As a result, we could not agree. I made her a very loyal and very friendly offer with a bias towards her interests. I was refused all my offers – both for children and material assets. We don't have a court for money. I filed a lawsuit because we have exhausted all possibilities for an agreement. In my opinion, there is a dad who wants and has the opportunity to communicate with his daughter and take care of her upbringing. I participate financially: I pay for the nanny and the circles, and I do it with pleasure. It seems to me wrong and unhealthy that I cannot enter the house, even if Polina is not there, and be near my daughter. That is, the daughter is being raised by nannies, it does not suit me. Polina has a difficult schedule, she is a great artist, she often cannot be at home at a certain time. I understand it. But there is a dad who wants and can do it.
Dmitry Iskhakov with Polina Gagarina's son Andrey and daughter Mia
Nobody will attack anyone. This is defending your right to see your daughter and participate in her life. Now it depends on the mood: yesterday they do not give, the day before yesterday they give, what will happen tomorrow – I do not know. Therefore, it is in the interests of both Polina and me – this business is to be fixed on paper. There is nothing scary or wild about it. Nobody attacks Polina, but she may see it that way. Well, I instantly became a bad person, a bad father? No, this cannot be, it is not true.
I would like my daughter, waking up, to see me or my mother. If mom is not there, then it’s me. I have exhausted my resource of attempts to come to an agreement, so Polina and I agreed on the paper. It says that I have the right to come at certain hours and days, I have the right to take my daughter to my place once a week, I have the right to take a vacation with my daughter a couple of times a year. There is nothing crazy and insane there. We could not agree on this. I said that otherwise I would go to court, she answered: “Go!”. The issue of real estate and assets is not yet closed. It will be discussed anyway. Parental and property rights are now on Polina's side. Polina has all the levers, all the power. I'm right – zero. That is, I am disadvantaged, if you look at the law. And I have the right to defend my rights. Almost everything is denied to me. They say to me: “I give you the right to see your daughter. What else do you want?” This, in my opinion, is not Polinin's gift to me and not her good will. It is not a question whether I allow it or not. I have absolutely the same paternal rights as her maternal rights. If there is any talk about financial history – while they are not – I give my word that this will be done in the interests of my daughter.
About a new possible novel by Polina Gagarina
I think that Polina is clearly influenced by someone, and not in the most correct way, in my opinion. Information surfaced on the Internet – photographs and videos appeared (on them Polina Gagarina spends time in the company of music producer Vladimir Chinyaev, with whom she has been attributed an affair for several months. – Ed.). The information that I have allows me to judge in this way: I do not want this person to be near my daughter and somehow influence her. The information that I receive gives me the right to be categorically against it.
Dmitry Iskhakov and Ksenia Sobchak